I sit on the couch with my feet curled under me, watching a movie.
Knock, knock, knock.
I look towards the front door, a frown on my face; I'm not expecting anyone. I stand, pause the movie, smooth my shirt, tuck my hair behind my ears, and head to the door. In the little mirror right next to the door, I check my face to make sure I'm presentable. When I look through the peephole, I'm immobilized for a few seconds. No...... I blink a few times and try to focus again. This is not who I think it is... my heart jumps in my throat and my stomach does a flip flop. I realize he'll walk away if I don't open the door, so I unlock the deadbolt and pull it open. When his eyes graze my face, he smiles. The warmest smile I've ever seen, which in turn, causes me to smile right back. For a moment, we just stare at each other, I can't even think of anything to say, I'm so speechless.
So he says, "Hi."
I laugh and my eyes drop to my bare feet. "Hi... as you can see I'm a little tongue-tied right now," I reply as I raise my eyes to meet his once again.
"I knew you would be, that's why I didn't tell you I was coming. I wanted to cherish this sweet moment. Uh, can I come in though, it's a little cold out here," he says with a playful glint in his eye.
'What an idiot, Katelyn.. it's freezing, and you're standing here with a dumb look on your face,' I think to myself as I say "Oh my God of course, come in," stepping aside for him to enter. He's got a bag in each hand, and he drops them on the floor just inside the doorway. He looks around my house a moment, taking in the view of how I live. But as I close the door, his eyes lock on me again, he can't seem to stop looking at me. As I start to overcome some of my shock, I'm unbelievably excited to have this man right here in front of me.
"What are you doing here, why didn't you tell me? I'm so happy to see you!" I say in my excited squeaky voice. I step towards him, touch his arm and realize a moment we've only talked about is now about to happen. I walk closer to him, press myself against him and wrap my arms around his neck. I feel one of his hands touch my waist, then the other, and then they both slide around my body until I'm fully inside his embrace. With one of my hands against the back of his neck, I press my nose into his shoulder and inhale the scent of the man I've only imagined I would ever get a chance to see in person. He smells so divine, and I almost fall weak in his arms. As if sensing this, he tightens his grip on me, slowly rubbing his hands up and down my entire back and sides. He is also feeling a body he's also only imagined he ever would. I feel his nose bury first in my hair, and then down into my neck where the warmth of his lips is teasing the air inches away from my skin.
"You feel so nice..." he whispers to me. A spark of excitement shoots through my belly at his words. I try to pull back to look him in the eyes, but he won't let me. Instead, he tightens his grip on me once again, just holding me close. There is a fine line with a hug, where it becomes less friendly and more intimate, where it's less jovial, and more serious. I closed my eyes and realized this was a very intimate hug, where pent up emotions over the last many months are finally allowed to be released. My hands caress his back, neck and head while I press my cheek right next to his. I want to kiss this man, but I can't. Not yet. His hands fall from my shoulder blades to my lower back, around to my waist, until he finally pulls away to look into my face. His eyes are glistening, and I am both confused and touched by his emotion.
Putting a hand to his face, I say with concern in my eyes "Are you ok?"
