Susie Ch 32

Morning After

Josh's cock was shrinking inside me and semen began to leak from the condom.

We were in a motel room and last night I had watched him masturbate several times and he had finger fucked me to orgasm. The session had gotten me over my obsession with watching him ejaculate and this morning I had mounted him with abandon and ridden him to climax out of sheer carnal passion. But I was already feeling regrets. Josh Westerly was a frequent overnight visitor in my dorm room at USC. My roommate, Rachael spent many of her nights fucking his roommate in their room so he came to our room. He and I had been intimate a couple of times but for some reason I always felt guilty afterwards.

Why did I feel bad again? What was with me? Why was it that whenever I had sex with Josh I felt bad about it the next day? I liked him. I liked him a lot. And he really knew how to please me. Despite his small penis I could get off almost every time.

Josh sure didn't seem to feel bad. He was attentive and clearly wanted to do it again. The next day he asked me out and kept dropping hints. Now I felt bad about saying, "no sex tonight."

Father Ray was a priest at the campus Catholic Student Center. I had found that I could talk to him about anything, including my sex life. Father Ray had been working on me to avoid sex with Josh. As a result, since Josh returned from spring break I had managed to avoid sex until this morning.

I had decided not to talk to Fr. Ray about what Josh and I had done but my feelings drove me to his office. I just couldn't stay away and when I was with him I always felt obliged to tell him everything, no matter what my original intentions.

"Susie, what a pleasant surprise," he greeted me with a smile. He noticed my downcast appearance and asked, "What can I help you with?"

I turned to confirm that the door was closed behind me and told him about what I had been doing with Josh. "Now I don't feel good about it," I concluded.

"Maybe because you realize it's wrong?" he suggested.

I expected the question and had been considering it. I answered honestly, "no, I don't think that's it."

He sighed slightly, "Did you read the book I gave you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what do you think of what you are doing based on what the book says?"

The book had been heavily biased against pre-marital sex. "I don't think I agree with it," I answered.

"None of it?"

"Well, a lot of the details made sense. But the idea that sex is only for marriage ..." I left the rest of what I had to say hanging.

"I see," he replied. Then after a pause, "So what about Josh. Why do you think you might feel bad?"

After a half hour of discussion he managed to convince me that the problem was likely that Josh wanted a long term relationship and I didn't. I felt bad because I wasn't giving him what he wanted. And, I knew it.

"By having sex with him, even the mutual masturbation, you're kind of leading him on," Fr. Ray said. "Do you see that?"

"Yes, I guess so," I answered.

"Don't you see how that's wrong?" he asked.

That was harder to admit, "yes," I squeaked out.

He smiled, "I think you need to let Josh know that you aren't interested in him romantically, or sexually."

I gulped and told him, "but I

am

interested in him sexually."

"Don't you see? For Josh a sexual interest implies a long term relationship," He smiled a smile of suppressed laughter.

"What's funny?" I asked.

"Not funny, ironic, definitely unusual. Usually it's the man who just wants sex and the woman who is taken advantage of because she expects a long term relationship."

"You mean I'm like a guy who takes advantage of a woman for his sexual enjoyment?" I was angry at the suggestion.

He sat still and stared at me, non verbally implying I knew the answer.

"I'm not!" I exclaimed. "I do it because Josh wants it too."

He continued to just look at me.

I sat in silence and after what seemed like forever he spoke calmly and quietly, "I think Josh wants to because he hopes it will lead to a long term relationship. And ... I believe you realize that."

"It will be devastating to Josh if I tell him we are to be 'just friends'."

"Exactly my point, Josh doesn't want 'just friends'. He expects, ... wants, more. I think you need to let him know only that you have no intention of a long term relationship and since sex implies a long term relationship it is best there be no sex."

"But sex doesn't imply along term relationship."

"Susie, for Josh, I suspect it does. At least he expects it to possibly lead to a long term relationship. And, honestly, I need to correct you. Sex

does

imply a long term relationship."

Okay, maybe Josh was hoping for a long term relationship and maybe I was just leading him on. But I wasn't about to dash his hopes again. "

He must feel like a yo-yo

," I thought. We have sex and then I tell him no sex and then I have sex. But, God, I was glad he put up with it.

Waiting for Summer

Father Ray might be an expert on proper behavior and seemed to have a real feel for me but he had no clue about what it might do to Josh if I told him we were "just friends" again.

The semester will be over in a month, I realized. After that Josh would be graduating and leaving for a job he had obtained in the Bay Area. Therefore, I didn't need to tell him anything. We still had the agreement that we would have sex only when I agreed to it. I'd just keep putting him off and the semester would end, he'd leave for his job, and then, sadly, this episode of my sex life would draw to a close.

But Josh started dropping hints about good medical schools in the Bay Area. "You could go to Stanford," he mentioned one evening.

It had become clear that what he wanted was for me to come to the Bay Area with him. I decided to confront the issue. "Why would I want to do that?" I asked.

"It wouldn't be hard," he said, avoiding my direct question. "I'm sure your grades are adequate."

"I don't want to be applying to another school," I stated. "I'm doing fine here. Why change?"

Well, ..." he hesitated and then, in a subdued voice, admitted his motive. "You could come to the Bay Area with me."

I tried to be a sweet as possible. "Josh," I told him, "I'm not coming to the Bay Area with you."

His look betrayed his disappointment.

"You really want to be with me, don't you?" I said and he nodded.

"Josh you are special to me too, but not 'move to the Bay Area' special. Just like I don't think I'm 'stay in L.A.' special to you."

"Susie, you are 'stay in L.A.' special. I can find a job here."

"No, Josh, You need to get on with your life. You can't build your life around me. I like you. I like you a lot. But, Josh, you're not the person I'm ready to build my life around. Let's make the best of the couple of weeks we have left."

I held him in my arms and felt a couple of tears drop from his eyes. "

Why must this be so hard?

" I wondered and decided that I would make Josh's last day with me as special as possible. "

It'll be a surprise,

" I decided, "

and Father Ray doesn't need to know either.

"

But, of course, Father Ray did know. I told him. It's like this stuff just flows out of me when I talk to him.

We were in the middle of a discussion and the topic kept nagging at me. I couldn't get it to go away. It had to come out.

Right in the middle of something else I blurted out, "I'm going to have sex with Josh on the last day of the semester."

He was taken aback, I suspect mostly from the sudden change of topic. He recovered, "Susie, I thought we agreed that sex with Josh was improper."

I corrected him, "we agreed that it was wrong because Josh thought he had a long term chance with me. But now he knows he doesn't. I've made it clear. And because it's our last day together, there won't be any hint that our relationship will continue."

"Susie, you know that's an inappropriate use of your sexual gift." He liked to use the word "gift" meaning a gift from God, not in the sense that I was giving Josh the gift of my body.

"I don't think so, Father. I'll be showing Josh I care for him and It'll give him confidence with women."

"Confidence?"

"Yes, he'll know that at least one woman likes him and wants him."

"I'm not sure I know how to respond to that other than to disagree. Why do you think he needs confidence?"

"He's so shy, father. He wouldn't even ask me out for the longest time. And ..." I hesitated.

"I don't see why having sex would make a difference. You've been going out with him and showing that you like him. Doesn't that do it?"

"Well, I don't think so. There's also, ..." I hesitated again.

"Also?"

I told him something I hadn't told him before, "He has a tiny penis, father. He needs to know that he can pleasure a woman with it."

I could tell he was unsure how to address that. He punted, "I don't think penis size is that important."

I returned the punt, "it doesn't matter what you think, Father. It matters what Josh thinks. Only by having sex with him can I help him understand penis size isn't important."

His response was what I considered a weak one, "I don't think that's true and I don't believe it's an adequate justification."

Last Day

Rachael finished her finals and left the day before mine were completed. Josh was staying around for the graduation ceremonies. I invited him out to dinner when my finals were over. His parents were arriving the next day for graduation. I wasn't up to meeting them and intended to leave before they came.

We had a nice leisurely dinner and mostly talked about the times we had over the semester.

"I'll miss you, Josh," I told him. I'll miss our talks in the evening. I'll miss your advice. I'll miss the sex."

"Me too Susie," he responded.

At the door to my dorm room he hesitated, not sure what to do. I didn't hesitate. I pulled him inside, unbuttoned my blouse and flipped it at him, Turning my back to him I requested, "unhook my bra, Josh,"

He did and I took it off, hung it over the outside doorknob and closed the door to the room.

I raised my arms and turned to him, "Do you like what you see?"

"Of course I do, Susie, you have beautiful breasts."

"What would you like to do with them, Josh?"

"What?"

"What would you like to do with my breasts? Touch them?"

He reached toward me, "Uhh, sure."

I pulled back, "not yet, Josh, tell me what you want to do with them."

"Touch them?"

"Touch what, Josh, tell me what you want to do."

He reached out again, "I want to touch your breasts."

I pulled back, "Is that all?"

He caught on to my game, "I'd like to hold them, I want to hold your breasts in my hands."

"And?"

"And, ... I like to watch them move as you move."

"Like this?" I began swaying my torso back and forth, arms raised in front of him. I looked at myself in the dressing mirror on the door and moved my chest so my breasts bounced slightly. They aren't large but have filled out nicely, slightly conical with large, hard nipples right at the tip of the cone and pointing straight out from my chest, not a bit of sag. I smiled as I admired them.

"Yes," he said, "and I'd like to rub your nipples."

I swung toward him and pulled back as he reached out for my swaying breasts.

"I'd like to suck them and lick at your nipples and feel them against my chest, and, ... "

I had put my right heel into his crotch. "Untie my shoes, please," I requested.

After my shoes were off, I unzipped and lowered my jeans. I swirled in front of him and admired my body in the mirror. Taking that aerobics class three times a week and swimming two or three days a week sure paid off. My belly was flatter than ever, my waist narrowed perfectly from my hips. I wore bikini briefs two sizes smaller than before I came to USC: one size smaller because I had slimmed and another just to show off my fleshy genitals and rounded mons.

"Do you like what you see?" I asked, stopping with my back to him, throwing my hair to the side and looking at him over my shoulder. I slapped my butt and wiggled it at him.

"Sure," he said.

"And what do you want to do with what you see?" I asked, turning to face him.

He knew what I was getting at. "Caress you all over, feel your hard body, rub your cunt."

"Would you like to see my cunt?" I asked, pushing my thumbs into the waistband of my panties.

"Sure!"

"And what will you do with it if I show it to you?"

"Admire its beauty, run my fingers through your lovely pubic hair, massage your clit,"

"And?"

"And I'd push my finger up your vagina and rub your G-spot."

"Only your finger?"

"I'd kiss your cunt and lick at your vaginal entrance."

"Is there any other body part you'd like to put in my cunt?"

He hesitated because we had been avoiding full vaginal intercourse.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"And what part might that be?"

"My penis."

"And what do you want to do with your penis?"

"I want to put my penis up your cunt, in your vagina."

"That can be arranged," I told him and began to unbutton his shirt.

Taking his lead from my questioning he asked, "What do you want from me?"

"I want your naked body," I exclaimed pulling off his shirt and lightly rubbing my hands over his almost hairless chest.

"What do you want it for?" he asked.

"I want to bring you incredible pleasure with it," I replied, untying his shoes.

"And how do you intend to do that?"

I threw his shoes aside and unzipped his trousers. "I'll caress it and kiss it and bring it to a level of excitement that can only be relieved by orgasm."

I pulled his pants off. His small cock was straining against his briefs. "Is that all?" he asked.

"I intend to go down on this lovely cock," I said freeing it from its restraint. "I plan to allow it to penetrate my inmost, intimate being. There I will stimulate it until it gives up its life-giving fluid in a spasm of pleasure."

He was naked and I pushed him back on the bed.

"And

you

," I said as I began my ministrations to his body, "may use my body in any way that provides you pleasure."

He began stroking my neck and then my back as I gently massaged his chest. I had him roll over and massaged his back. He tried reaching my legs with is hands but gave up and just relaxed under my touch. I moved down to his legs and feet and them up to his butt, running my fingers down his butt crack to his balls and giving them a soft squeezed, I repeated and repeated my motions until I decided it was time for more direct sexual contact.

I asked him to roll over and watched all four inches of his cock spring into sight. "That's what I'm looking for!" I exclaimed and engulfed it with my mouth. I sucked at it for a few minutes and then got up and knelt over him with his penis nuzzling my pussy lips. I wiggled my hip so his cock tickled at my entrance.

Josh protested, "no condom?"

I put my finger to his mouth to 'shush' him. "No condom tonight Josh, I want to feel your hard, warm, naked cock and your semen inside my soft, warm, wet vagina. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes, I guess."

"Josh, what do you want?"

"I want my penis inside your vagina."

"Can you be more specific," I challenged him.

After a second he caught on, "I want my hard, naked cock inside your soft, warm wet, pussy," he said.

I impaled myself on him, "Ahh, yes, that's what I want. How about you, Josh?"

"That's what I want too."

"What's that. Josh?"

"That's what I want too."

"What is it that you want?"

I want my hard, warm penis inside your soft wet vagina."

I smiled, lifted off him rolled to the side, no mean feat to stay in the twin bed. "I want you on top -- thrusting your hard, naked cock into my wet, willing pussy."

He got up to allow me to roll entirely on my back. I put a pillow under my hips to ease his entry and asked, "what do you want?"

"To thrust my hard, naked cock into your warm, inviting cunt," he responded.

I spread my legs for him, "Fuck me. Josh, fuck me good and hard." He knelt between my legs and slid his small cock inside. I pushed my hips against him and pulled him down to me so I could kiss his lips.

He lay on me, my arms around him, my hands on his butt as he moved his hips up an down. His cock slid all the way out and then easily entered again, stimulating my clit, sliding past my G-spot and gently caressing my cervix. Then again, all the way out and all the way in. I loved the feeling of his cock separating my vaginal lips and entering the vacant space.

"Oh! That's what I want!" I exclaimed, moving my hips to increase the sensation.

"Wiggle that pussy!" he exclaimed back, getting into the verbal flow.

"Drive home that cock," I said in response.

"As you wish," he agreed, positioning his hips so the tip of his penis rubbed hard against my G-spot as it slipped in. His testicles slapped my butt on each entry.

"Oh God! Keep doing that!"

I lifted my hips to meet his as his penis penetrated and then dropped my hips as he pulled out.

"Yes, Susie, like that!" he commented.

His penis assaulted my vagina at every angle and I arched my back as the tingle of arousal spread through me. I pulled him down onto me and planted a kiss on his lips, pushing my tongue deep into his mouth. Orgasm coursed through my body and I shook, holding him tight in a vain attempt to lessen the shaking.

His tool continued to plow into my slit without cessation, extending the duration of my ecstasy. "Don't stop!" I commanded, and he didn't.

I barely had time to catch my breath when the continuing, repeated, rapid penetrations pulled me over the top again. I writhed in unbearable pleasure. I don't know how his prick continued to find my hole and lunge inside but it did, touching every pleasure button in the process. I couldn't stand it but I didn't want it to stop.

The paroxysms slowly reduced and I felt I could breath again. The driving attack of Josh's penis on my vagina continued unabated until, with a huge groan he drove his penis further inside than it had ever been and I felt his body shudder. I put my heels on his butt and pulled his hips into me even harder, feeling the gentle vibration of semen pulsing through his cock, the warmth as it emerged inside and ultimately the coolness as a bit of it oozed slowly out.

His penis shrank and slipped out. A warm stream of semen from my vagina and his cock flowed down my butt. He moved off me and began to get out of the bed. "Stay here," I told him, "let it drip out."

On the night stand I had placed a newly purchased, monogrammed handkerchief. I grabbed it and used a finger to push the center inside my soaked vagina. "My souvenir of this last night with you," I told him lying it carefully on the night stand to dry. Then I devoted my attention to licking every last drop of warm, sticky fluid from his cock.

The next morning as Josh arose to get dressed and reached for his underwear I stopped him, "Josh come over here."

I lay in bed and he stood in front of me with his two inch, partially erect cock and his large testicles right in my face.

"Josh, promise me not to pass up any opportunity you have to be with another woman because of any embarrassment over these wonderful organs." I cupped a hand over his balls and stroked up along his expanding shaft.

"Josh, they have given me a lot of pleasure and can do the same for any woman. Promise me to be proud of them, not ashamed." I concluded by kissing the tip of his penis and giving his testicles a gentle squeeze.

"Okay Susie, I will," he responded and pulled on his briefs. That was the last time I ever saw his genitals. And when he went out the door it was the last time I saw him. So much for Father Ray's statement that sex implied a long term relationship.

And

, that was the only time I had sex with Josh and didn't feel bad about it the next morning.