That afternoon I got my first "B" on a test since I had started back to school after separating from the Air Force. I was so distracted, picturing what was going to happen when I got home, that I couldn't make the questions make sense. It was just my ridiculous levels of preparation that managed to pull the grade I did.
For the classes I taught, I just sent them on a field trip. We were in the "Age of Jackson" in class so I told everyone to go over to the library and find an article in a scholarly journal on the topic and write a brief, one-paragraph summary of the article. I followed them to the library and initiated my own research.
Today, as I write, I just Googled "How to properly spank your wife." and started scrolling through hundreds of articles. Interestingly, the first Google page was devoted primarily to "domestic discipline in a Christian household."
But that was then and "how to properly spank your wife" was not something that I found in the card catalog (I know, I looked). But I am a good researcher. It turns out that in those long-ago days a half-century ago, most of the studies on the topic showed up in obscure psychology and sociology journals. The articles addressed the psychology and sociology of this "deviant" lifestyle. It took a full hour before I came up with what I was looking for.
The article was full of psychological jargon to the point of being almost unintelligible but, by the time I waded through it all, it boiled down to - Remember the story of how you boil a frog.
You know the story?
Well, you can't just drop the frog into boiling water. Even a creature with a brain the size of a pinhead will jump out of that.
So you put him in a pan of cool water and turn the heat on under it. By the time Kermit realizes what's happening, he's too relaxed to do anything about it.
I had the sense that the "Christian" who wrote the story had a pretty deep sadistic streak. He used terms like "deeper," "more painful," and "more meaningful" to describe a "properly" administered spanking.
I got home before Monica. Friday was her day with a late, three o'clock, art class. That gave me time to, well, "set the stage" is, I suppose, as good a way to describe it as any.
I got one of the chairs from the kitchen table, actually one of the few "sturdy" pieces of furniture we owned. We bought the dining room set at an auction.
I set the chair as nearly in the middle of the front room as I could judge, got a beer, and waited.
In a life that now spans three-quarters of a century plus one, I have never felt more anticipation than I did in the 20 minutes before Monica got home.
I went over it, over and over, in my mind as I drank my beer and listened to the music I had softly playing.
I heard the car pull up, that crackle of tires on gravel unmistakable.
I stood, waiting just inside the door.
Her eyes got big when she saw me.
I watched as she looked past me to the chair in the middle of the floor and I saw recognition dawn.
"David, I," she started and I slapped her.
It wasn't a particularly hard slap, certainly not as hard as I had taken from time to time in karate classes.
But it was the first time I ever struck her. The shock in her eyes was obvious and down at the bottom of my brain, down where that caveman claimed his cavewoman by knocking her on the head with his club, I liked that look.
She stood still. "Shocked" is the only word to describe the look on her face.
"Speak when you are spoken to," I said, trying my best to sound like some preacher out of Puritan New England.
I reached down and took the books from her hand, said, "Stay," and put the books in the little homemade box she used for her school stuff.
I moved to sit on the chair, and just looked at her for a long time. I suppose it was only a minute or so, but it seemed longer.
Try it, sometime. Set an alarm for 60 seconds and then just stand still. It seems like a very long minute.
"Come here," I said, pointing to a spot about a foot in front of where I sat.
She came, silent, holding my eyes.
I said nothing, I just reached up, unbuttoned and unzipped the baggy jeans she wore, and pulled them down to her thighs.
"Stand here," I said, pointing to a spot about a foot from the right side of my chair.
She moved, kind of sidestepping awkwardly, to the point I indicated.
I took her hand, pulling not yanking, pulling slowly until she overbalanced and had no choice but to lay across my lap.
I got instantly hard. I was no longer a 20th-century college student. I WAS that caveman. And my woman had been disobedient. But I knew I had to discipline her properly, there was that much modern man left in me.
"Count," I said, the single word loud against the soft music.
My hand fit her ass perfectly. Christ, maybe too perfectly. I was suddenly hard, my erection bound in my jeans, hurting.
The first stroke was hardly a "stroke" at all. It wasn't even a slap. It was more of a pat.
She flinched dramatically, anticipation doing more than I could have done with a strap.
"One," she breathed.
I was caressing her ass now, feeling how tense she was, and the caveman LOVED that tension, that fear.