*** All Characters are Above Age, Clean, and Consenting within the story. Any alignment with real life persons, places, or things are entirely coincidental in terms of Copyright. Copyright Β© Reign Loveridge 2019 ***
Many men are fathers at different times in their life. Some in their teens, others in their wrinkles. Me? Well... I became a father quite recently indeed.
I was at college; my grades were good, but lacking in what I and my professors considered normal to me. In truth, I felt like I had no real purpose in life. I had everything to work towards but nothing to work for. Nothing at home to come home to. Of course, my mother was always a waystation, emotionally, either a visit or a phone call away. But there was nothing at my home. No life. Not even warmth. A shell I slept in when the moon was out.
But at college, there was that life. The shouting, the laughing, the classes inside and the student life on the outside. Clubs and food stalls, extra-curricular activities and deals for student bars and clothing stores. Such is what and where I spent my most time in. I made friends, all of which were older people who returned to education after living and working, whereas I came straight from high school.
Two friends were a romantic couple. Ethan and Sara --
pronounced Sah-rah
-- and were in their late twenties with Ethan being the senior.
They were decent enough folk, both smart in their own fields of engineering and Law. I studied in the same school as Sara, initially wanting to specialise in Tort and Criminal Law, so I got to know her first. But both Ethan and his beautiful woman were in the debating club -- a small circle of geeks who loved to argue over small and specific topics to keep their analytical skills sharp. Silly little topics such as the beach or pools, the new formula in a local hot chocolate brand or the old one. All silly and meaningless but was very heated when in the debating phases.
On one particular debating night, the topic was simple. Children. Have them to any number or do not have them at all. Surprisingly, considering how close the two were, Ethan and Sara separated themselves into the opposing groups. I was with Sara in pro-parenting. And Ethan was quite sourly opposing us on every ground.
'Waste of money,' the tall burly man said. 'Waste of money, waste of time, and waste of space.' He was told by the Madam speaker to not be so incredulous and emotional, but he did not listen.
While Ethan rattled on about the reason's children were a waste of the parent's time, I could hear a paper being scrunched. I looked over at Sara who was twisting her cue cards like wringing out a wet tea towel. She was nervous. As if sensing my concern, she turned and winked at me, but said nothing on the action and even voided her stand.
The night went on with the usual atmosphere of half-humourous and half-seriousness. At the end when the Madam's decision on the winning team was reserved for the next meeting, Ethan was talking with his small group of Engineering friends while Sara went ahead to pull the car around. By that time, it was roughly eight-forty-five at night. So, I offered to walk Sara to their car, since there were indeed reports of assault taking place in the tree lines and parking areas of the massive campus.
We laughed about the funny points made and argued a little, after all, even though I was on her side, we cannot always agree. But, if I am honest, we disagreed on less urgent matters, such as having a boy first and a girl second, or whether or not it would be best to put the child in a baby-walker since the studies came out about leg deformity. I myself being a product of such deformity -- often getting caught walking on my tip-toes -- I won that particular argument by a landslide.
But we agreed on having children.
What was heartbreaking, even for me, was that Sara had told me all the arguments Ethan said across the night were ones he had used in their squabbles at home. It baffled me to the point of anger but she said he made it look like it was said in passing and had no link to their personal lives. Despite this crucial difference between he and I, Ethan was indeed a good man. Liked by few and loved by most. A go-getter and always busy. Hence why, I told Sara, he did not want children.
She nodded once and said nothing more. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, finding it hard to pinpoint her emotion in the dark, only seeing red-ringed eyes under a pathway lamp, constantly wiped by her rough coat.
We got to her car and she was about to say something before Ethan ran up and slapped me on the back and said his thanks for watching over Sara. He jumped into the car and they drove off with Sara giving me a look of immense apology. I waved them away from their parking space and went back across campus to my car. The entire way I was thinking about Sara, how hurt she must have been when Ethan actually laid their personal argument into a club one. I found myself disliking Ethan on that note, but I could not help that growing feeling of making connections to everything else.
Over the next few months, I actually found myself looking more closely at their relationship. I am one for privacy but I was exposed to a massive part of their relationship, one that clearly and aggressively divided them down the middle. I never interfered, only watched. And perhaps I was bias for being so on-side with Sara that I did see their behaviour change. Sara was on her phone a lot more when with Ethan and their other friend circles. Her attitude was noticeably distant -- often sighing when told something or taking no interest in what Ethan had to show or tell her -- even their friends gave each other embarrassing looks. Sure, they could have been reacting to something else going on in their relationship, but even in my young age, I knew that this cut deep. Biologically deep. A crucial and defining detail. Location to settle, marriage, and children are often the biggest examples.
A few months go by and the distancing in Sara became a plateau, not reaching worse territories but not improving either. Their relationship had become static. So, when the annual inter-campus debating competition came around, even that did little to heal this life-defining rift a practice debate had caused.
Long story short, we won the competition, taking home trophies, vouchers, recognition and a little more appreciation for each other's tenacity under pressure. We argued the importance or lack thereof of the questionable United Nations as a whole. Me being a moderate-nationalist, I pushed for our team to argue against and once it was confirmed, I let my passion for politics run rampant -- even giving some of the team points of arguments. I noticed I gained a little attention and a joyful smirk from Sara but at the time I was too engorged with excitement to really care. I must have been a force of optimism rather than the progressing pessimism coming from Ethan who was actually the weakest link throughout the preliminaries, bowing out in the semi-finals and championships.
But we came home with the win and got our names in the local and even national paper, with two of us earning scholarships into a national team. We were excited and got drunk and had an amazing time mixing and chatting with the runner ups and comparing notes and strategies. But it was when we got home that everything became grim, but at the same time... a welcomed takeover.
*****
Ethan held a dinner a week later, when -- I believe -- his relationship with Sara was truly on the rocks, ready to spill into the sea. One, it was to celebrate those who earned a scholarship, and two to formally apologise for not leading the team and not being the driving force that he usually was. It was very much a mix and match of meals. Asian, Italian, Indian, Country, and even a few take out options, strangely. It was a genuine feast.
Everyone dressed up in their number ones and, true to his recent behaviour, Ethan did not. Just a button up and old jeans. I heard whispers during the lead up to the dinner that he did not even shower. Sara though was in an immaculate baby blue single-shoulder strap dress with a respectful thigh cut. The entire thing was form fitting and suited her sapphire eyes. All the male members, and lesbian ones, gasped as she came down their flat's creaky stairs.
We ate and gave toasts, sharing a lot of stories from the championships and otherwise. I was immensely full on the Asian and Italian food, myself. Noodles, Pasta, Calamari and Chicken Parmesan. But I still noticed the divide between Ethan and Sara. His touches on her arm were met with flinches. And any whispers encountered a half-smile and nasal chuckle.
Soon, I think, Ethan picked up on these almost blatant signals and began to get drunk, suggesting they go out on the town. Several others wanted to review a recording of the debate, of which was met with keen approval. Sara, seemingly wanting time away from Ethan's drunken, apologetic whispers, cleared the table. Shockingly, none of the clangs and grunts of frustration disturbed anyone who were locked onto the television screen in the loungeroom. So, I helped Sara.
It took a while, but I used my regular system of removing food first into
Tupperware
and then stacked the dishes from small utensils to the serving plates. And then began the hard work: Washing them all.