As soon as they checked into their room in the hotel, Elise kicked off her shoes and flopped onto the bed, flinging her arm over her eyes. Her mind spinning, she'd never felt more exhausted or conflicted. Never expecting seeing her father again, she was shocked that seeing him again after so many years hit her as hard as it did, especially knowing that he didn't have much time left to live.
Nicholas stood at the end of the bed and watched her for a moment, and finally asked, "Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?"
Getting up onto her elbows, looking at him, she shook her head. "No, thank you. My stomach's in knots and I don't think I can eat anything right now, but you go ahead without me if you're hungry."
Although he nodded, he didn't bother picking up the room service menu, but just sank down on the end of the bed feeling stunned. He could still hear her words echoing in his head, informing him that she would be gone the moment her contract was up. Clenching his fists, more angry at himself than he was at her, he couldn't believe he'd been foolish enough to think they could actually have something together, and that she actually really cared. Of course for her, it was obviously just a business arrangement and nothing more, and he knew he'd be wise to remember that.
When he turned his head and noticed she'd fallen asleep, he carefully covered her with a blanket, pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, turned and left the room and headed downstairs to the bar. What he needed right now was a drink - and the stiffer the better.
As he sat in the dimly lit bar, nursing a double Glennfiddich, he told himself there was no way in hell he'd ever let himself get wrapped up in another woman like he had with her. Elise had proven to him that he was unworthy of being loved, no matter how deeply she'd gotten to him, and he'd assumed he'd gotten to her. He knew then that losing her was best done quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. It would hurt like a bitch at first, but then it would be over. And then this unrelenting pain in his chest would stop - at least he hoped.
Later that night they walked over to the hospital hand in hand, and saw her dad again. But her father was so tired that he barely spoke, looking weaker by the minute, all he seemed capable of doing was smiling into her eyes. Stepping out of the room, giving them some time alone, at the nursing station, Nicholas gave the nurse on night duty his card with his cellphone number, just in case. And told her they'd be staying nearby if she needed to call Elise if anything changed with her father.
After they left the hospital together, with Elise's arm tucked tightly through his, Nicholas pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and asked, "How are you doing?"
Looking up at him, she told him, "Guess I'm okay," and hugged him to her side as they walked, so glad to have him with her. "I have a feeling he's ready to go now that he's seen me again." She sniffled and wiped at her nose. "I just wish he hadn't stayed out of my life for so long, or we might have been able to have some kind of relationship. But it's a little too late for that now."
Blowing out a breath, he knew just what she meant. On the rare occasions he thought of his mother, he'd wondered what it would have been like growing up with her in his life, if she hadn't walked out and abandoned both he and his father when he was only six. Without asking, he led Elise into a little French café, and held up two fingers so the waiter would find them a table for two. They'd eat, and they'd get through this together. And he knew that soon, he'd have to let her go.
But sitting across the table from her as they waited for their food to arrive, Nicholas couldn't get over how just the sight of her did something to him, his heart actually clenching in his chest as he looked into her eyes. So fair, and just so pretty, with her flawless translucent skin, incredible sapphire eyes and the most kissable mouth he'd ever seen, with just the most perfect body; but even worse a tender heart, that he foolishly believed could have a place in it for him.
Belatedly realizing that despite how good it had been with her, that she was no better than the rest of the women he'd had in his employ, he had to accept the fact that it was just a job for her and nothing more. A healthy salary could convince almost anyone to pretend to be involved, when all they could think of was struggling through a year with him and then finally getting out with their check in their hand.
Smiling into his eyes, Elise reached across the table and covered his hand with hers, telling him, "I really appreciate you being here with me, Nicholas. It would have been so much harder getting through this without you on my own." When he just nodded and didn't respond, she tipped her head and asked, "Is everything okay?"
"Sure," he lied then looked up, relieved to see their server arriving with their meals to put a stop to her asking any more.
Her father died in the night just after midnight. And Nicholas wrapped his arms around Elise and held her while she cried after she'd gotten the call. Pressing his lips to the top of her head as she clung to him and sobbed, he felt helpless. Never having experienced a relationship, he had no idea what to say or do. So he just held her and stroked his hand up and down her back and let her cry against his chest.
Finally, she pulled back, looked up into his eyes and said, "Oh god, and now I have to plan his funeral, and I don't even know where to start."
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," he told her, figuring it was the least he could do to lessen her burden.
Once he'd called the hospital and told them he'd be making the arrangements for her father, Nicholas crawled into bed beside her and hugged her to his side, gently stroking her hair until she finally dozed off. And as she slept and he stared at the ceiling with her curled in tight to his side, he wondered why she couldn't love him the way that he loved her. And there was no getting around it anymore - he'd fallen in love with her, hopelessly and completely. But since she didn't feel the same, as nice as it would be to just carry on with her and pretend that everything was fine, he knew he had to let her go. It would be just too painful to know that she was pretending to care, when all she'd be doing was counting down the hours until she could finally collect her last pay check and walk out of his life for good.
The funeral was small, with just a few relatives and couple of her father's closest friends. Nicholas stood at Elise's side while she thanked the mourners and even shook a few hands that were offered, wondering if everyone thought they were an actual a couple, when nothing could be further from the truth. Although they slept together, he was just her employer.
Glad when it was finally over, and they'd finally buried her father, Nicholas kept his arm around her as she sniffled and wiped at her eyes with a tissue on the drive back to his estate. Looking up at him, Elise gave him a weak smile and told him, "Thank you so much for helping me get through this, Nicholas. I don't know what I would have done without you. You've been my rock."
If only things were different, he actually could be. In fact, he'd be anything she wanted him to be, but since he'd never really be hers or she his, once they got back to his estate, he knew what he had to do.
That night, Nicholas was unusually tender with Elise in bed. And he had to say he enjoyed just savoring her lips and taking his time with her, exploring every last inch of her sweet little body. The feel of sinking into her nice and slow, with their eyes locked firmly on each other, was something he'd never forget. And the way she cupped his face in her hands, gazing deeply into his eyes had him almost thinking that she cared. But now all he could do was tuck this moment away as something he'd not only savor for later, but also as a reminder to never again let himself get too involved with the women he'd hire after she was gone. Perhaps he'd shorten their contracts to only a few months at a time. Then he'd be sure to never allow himself to get too taken by any of them. Although he already had his doubts that there was another woman in the entire world who could ever make him feel this way again, he knew he had to move on.
But as she pulled his head down and worshipped his mouth with the most tender kiss he'd ever experienced, as he sunk his cock into her deep, cradling her ass in his hands, he wished so much that he didn't have to let her go and lose this incredible feeling forever.
