When Elise strode into the library in the morning, she heaved a sigh of relief, seeing the calm, happy look on Nicholas's face. Since he'd asked her to marry him the night before, he was like a new man. A man that she could love whole-heartedly, providing of course, he would stay this way and not go back to the dark days when she'd first agreed to work for him, when his mood could change with the wind.
Kind and tender one moment, violent and furious the next, she never knew what to expect from him, or even what he expected of
her
.
But after he'd shocked her and
popped the question
in his kinky chamber of horrors last night, after he'd nearly lost his mind and beaten her ass till it stung, when she refused to leave him. He'd then forced her up on her knees and fucked her mercilessly hard from behind, trying to inflict even more pain on her.
Mostly, she'd begun to realize, because he was deeply in pain himself.
Elise had known his history, even before he'd told her, since his housekeeper Mary had confided that he'd been abandoned, not once, but twice, first by his mother at the tender age of six, and later by her governess when he was still fairly young and impressionable. And then of course a few years ago he'd lost his father. So, not surprisingly he was terrified of letting his emotions rule his life, scared of losing anyone else he allowed to get too close. Which she knew was why he kept trying to push her away. Afraid he was falling in love with her, he thought if he forced her to leave, he wouldn't have to deal with having his heart broken again if she ever walked out on him once he was into her too deep to turn back.
What he didn't understand was that Elise had fallen in love with him, too. Warts and all. He might not be perfect, but as strange as their relationship was, she'd begun to realize that he was perfect for her, especially when he let his guard down and allowed her to experience his tender side.
Now all she had to do was show him how she felt, and let him know that she would stay if he'd just accept the fact that she'd fallen in love with him, and she had no plans to walk out of his life like all the others had before her.
The moment she walked in, Nicholas looked up at her and smiled, his eyes slowly raking over her body, like a warm caress. "Fully recovered from last night, I hope."
Truth was, after the paddling he'd given her, her ass still stung, but not nearly as bad as it had. But at least her pussy wasn't sore anymore, after the pounding he'd given it, basically punishing her with his body, over the torment he felt she'd caused him.
"I'm fine," she assured him.
"Then why don't you come over here," he told her with a sly smile, patting his lap.
Curling into his lap Elise was more than happy to sit close with him, seeing as he appeared happier than she'd ever seen him. Nicholas pressed a kiss to her cheek, wrapping his arms tightly around her, he groaned as he shook his head. "And to think I almost drove you away yesterday."
Elise turned her head and cupped his face in her hands, telling him, "It's in the past, Nicholas, and I'm here now. And that's all that matters."
He nodded and let out a grateful sigh. Then he pulled his sketch pad closer for her to see what he'd been drawing. "I've been busy this morning, trying to design the perfect engagement ring for you. And since you'll be the one wearing it, I'd like to know what you think."
Yikes. Since she hadn't said yes yet, and actually agreed to marry him, she wasn't too sure what to say. But rather than send him into another of his dark moods, she just looked at the sketches, blown away, as always, by his talent. He was definitely as gifted an artist as he was a business man. The library was proof of that. She lifted her gaze to his latest creation, a very large watercolour of her, naked and smiling straight into his eyes. Tipping her head as she studied what he'd captured, she could actually see the love shining from her eyes, clear as day, which made her wonder why he couldn't see it, too, and was always doubting her.
Realizing he was waiting to see what she thought of the rings he'd been designing, she looked down and focused her attention back on the page. Pointing at his favorite, he told her, "I like the emerald cut for you, such a classic style. But I'm wondering," lifting her hand to his lips, he pressed a kiss, "with the size of diamond I'd like to get you, with your delicate little hands, if it might be too much and look too heavy." Staring down at the beautiful sketch he'd created of a flawless emerald cut diamond ring framed with baguette diamonds on either side of the platinum band, she didn't know what to say.
Finally she took a chance and said, "It is beautiful, but you're right and it might be a little too much for me. And I really don't need a ring that size, Nicholas, and don't feel like you have to spend a fortune on whatever you pick."
She could feel him tense, when he asked, "Why, because you might change your mind about going through with this, is that it?"
Heaving a sigh, she knew she had to be honest, so she turned, looked him in the eye and said, "You asked me to marry you last night, but you never waited to hear my answer." When she saw his jaw beginning to clench, she turned around in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck and told him the truth. "I love you, Nicholas. But I just have to be sure before we take such a big step, that what we have is solid, and enough to build a life together. Yesterday, you wanted me gone so badly, that you actually brought someone in to replace me. And I have to know that if we do get married, you won't get annoyed over some little thing and tell me get out whenever the mood strikes. I couldn't imagine agreeing to marry you and then living on pins and needles, always wondering if you'll change your mind and want me gone. I guess what I really need to know is that you mean for this to last, and you're not asking me to become your wife just to keep me here with you for now."
The tension slowly drained from him as he began to consider what she said. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked into her eyes and told her, "Would it matter to you if I told you that I've never felt this way before, and from the first moment I saw you that you consume my every waking hour, and even my dreams? I'm not sure if I can say the words you want to hear, but you have to know I want you as my wife and partner for the rest of my life. And believe me, this is something I've never contemplated before, until you."
Her heart melted for him. He was still so insecure, even when he was asking for her hand he couldn't find it in himself to admit to her out loud that he loved her. But maybe she'd just have to accept the fact that he'd been hurt so badly before, that he might never be able to truly trust her with his heart.
She smiled into his eyes and pressed her lips to his and told him, "Well, maybe I'll just have to love you enough for the both of us, if you can't admit that you love me. And I really do love you, Nicholas, and I would be happy to marry you."
