There he is. Flashing his 100-watt smile, impressing the parents, smoozing. My breath becomes shallow and I feel suddenly self-conscious. Maybe I should have worn my hair up to make myself look older. He catches my eye and I blush uncontrollably. He walks over and I have to concentrate on keeping my eyes away from the muscles rippling under his dark blue shirt as he walks over. Itās all I can do to keep my balance as he introduces himself to my parents. Iāve rehearsed this moment a thousand times in my head but now that its here, all I can do is giggle, stutter and mumble incoherently. As he walks away my heart sinks. I must have looked like such a retard! He begins talking to a tall blonde, early 20ās, about his age. Searing envy flows through my veins like lava from a volcano. I turn away, tears pricking the backs of my eyes and hate myself for feeling this way.
The next day, in class, I think back over that moment at the parents evening and curse myself for being so childish. I try to calm myself by remembering that Iām not just any normal lovesick teenager. Iām in lust. I look around the classroom at all my friends, gazing at him as if he were an angel. I can see the pictures they project from their minds: pictures of holding hands, long walks in the park, red roses and champagne. Very different from what I yearn for. I can feel my body tense as I imagine tearing off his clothes in a fit of passion, I notice the bulge in his jeans and feel the burning desperation to have him inside of me. I look into his eyes, dark with passion and see through his soul into his deepest desires. Then suddenly I realise he is staring straight at me. I snap out of my fantasy and try to focus on what he is saying. āAnna what did I just say?ā I stare dumbly at him and feel a blush of shame explore every part of my face. He sighs and pauses, considering his next move. āSee me after class please.ā
As the classroom empties I bask in the feeling of being alone with him. He walks over to my desk and sits down next to me. I can smell his aftershave and I feel weak and shaky from being this close to him. I have to physically stop my hand from roaming over his leg, up his thigh towardsā āAnna, I donāt enjoy reprimanding my students, but over the last few weeks your lack of attention during class has become apparent to me and I wanted to address it before it becomes a cause for concern. Is it because you donāt enjoy English?ā
āNo, no I like English.ā
āAre you having problems at home? With friends maybe?"
āNo, Iām fine.ā
āIs it me?ā I swallow hard, I can barely breath, what am I supposed to say?
āN-no, itās not you.ā He sighs again. My heart convulses as I imagine his sighs of pleasure as I ride him. A look of concern shadows his face.
āAre you alright Anna? You look a littleā¦.. flushed.ā I have to get out of there. Images of us together flash in front of my eyes and I feel my clit throbbing under my school skirt.
āActually, Iām not feeling very well, I need to go.ā
āOK, go to the medical room and have a lie down.ā I smile gratefully and rush to leave. āAnd Annaā¦ā He looks deep into my eyes and my heart stops. āIf you have any problems, you know you can talk to me.ā
I hurry down the corridor towards my next lesson. My pants are soaking and my face is flushed. I feel out of control. This has to stop.
Itās 4.30pm. The school is empty and Iāve been sitting alone in the library finishing my art project. My shoes echo on the polished floor as I walk briskly through the barren corridors towards the entrance. Iām not paying attention to where Iām going and before I know it Iāve walked round a corner straight into a teacher. Books go flying and I bend down in embarrassment to pick them up. I look up to see whom Iāve crashed into and find my face inches away from the subject of my desires. I stop breathing and lose my balance. He kneels next to me, apologising and making sure Iām OK. His hand is on my bare arm sending electric shocks pulsing all over my body. I attempt to scramble to my feet but lose my balance once again and fall into his strong embrace. As I feel his solid body next to my own my passion over powers me and I slip away from consciousness.
I open my eyes a minute later to find myself laid out on some desks in a classroom. He is standing over me, his hand over mine, looking into my eyes. My whole body feels weak, I canāt move or breathe or speak. I fight uncontrollable urges to pull him onto me, revealing all the passion that is suppressed inside me. He is saying something about getting a doctor and starts to move away but I grip his hand so he canāt leave. He looks gently into my face and strokes my fingers. All I can do is lie there and try to telepathically communicate how I am feeling. He helps me to sit up and steadies me with his arm. I can feel my self-control slipping and I trace my fingers over his taught biceps and down his forearm.
His expression changes to uncertainty and he studies my flushed face for an explanation. I feel faint again and he puts his hand against my face to steady me as my eyes roll back into my head. My forehead drops onto his shoulder and all my senses are heightened as I feel his hot breath on my neck. Slowly I raise my head until out lips are inches apart. I look meaningfully into his confused eyes and let my lips brush his. My clit is on fire, desperate for his touch. To my delight he doesnāt move away. He strokes my hot cheek with the back of his hand and I feel his fingers tremble. I want him so badly I could explode, but I keep my composure knowing that if I rush things it could all go disastrously wrong.
I close my eyes and press my lips to his once more, savouring the silkiness and tasting him with the tip of my tongue. His breathing is now as shallow as mine and his whole body is tense. His eyes are closed and he is allowing his hands to trace the small of my back, snaking his arm around my waist. He kisses me back, hesitantly at first and then with more passion. As our tongues entwine, rivers of passion break through the dam and I pull him close to me, slipping my hands under his shirt and over the smooth skin underneath. For a second he pulls away, trying to regain control, think rationally, but my passion is infectious and his tongue is back in my mouth before he can get any words out.
His hand hesitates around my breasts so I take it and place it over one, letting him feel my rock hard nipple through my thin shirt. He lets out a small moan and I push him backwards onto the desk, pressing my sizzling body into his. His hand wanders up my leg and under my skirt. He slides it over my pants and then inside. I push myself into his palm and a tidal wave of pleasure crashes over me. My hands have a mind of their own as they roam his body in frenzy; caressing his muscular chest, undoing his trousers, massaging his solid penis and making him moan louder.
He sits up and pulls me on top of him so I am sitting astride him. Then, while continuing to plant kisses all over my face and neck, he pushes my soaking pants aside and slides his finger inside me. I moan, not knowing, not caring if anyone else can hear. Nothing else exists at this moment, just him and I. I grab his penis and slide it inside me. He is muttering into my ear, cursing, telling me how wrong this is but how good it feels. I canāt reply, all I can do is push him inside me as far as he will go as waves of pleasure rip through my body, tearing me apart.
He comes inside me before either of us can do anything about it. I wrap my arms round his neck and feel the heat of his sweaty flesh against my own. In my frenzy Iāve ripped off a couple of his shirt buttons and it now hangs open, revealing what weāve just done. Our breathing slows as we recover and I wish that I could stay like this with him forever. We replace our clothes to their original state in silence. I feel like I am floating in a sea of rapture. Months of fantasising and yearning have been fulfilled. I am complete. He looks guilty as he speaks.
āWe shouldnāt have done that.ā I feel a sudden urge to tell him everything. I need him to understand.