Temptation Over Righteous?

What was I doing back here? What of this taboo mess made me want to come back here? What hold did that one encounter, which I consider to be the most toxic and wrongful thing I've ever done, brought me back here, very well knowing it's going to be the same thing that's going to happen again. Maybe not even just know, maybe I was looking forward to it.

Maybe I should take a step back and take another look at the whole picture. Jake and I've been friends forever. Best friends even. We're both 27 now and we've known each 12 years. I met Jake first a few months into my first year of high school. He was one of those cute guys that could charm anyone around. That included a lot of the girls in my high school. I was more on the reserved side in high school and had a handful of people I got along with comfortably.

Jake and I started hanging out after a couple of meetings of our drama club, which is quite ironic considering how he is biggest drama queen I knew. We started hanging out more and more and next thing I knew we were best friends sharing everything. I however thought it was a platonic friendship, but he made it very apparent that he didn't see it this way. He tried asking me out multiple times, but I really wasn't ready to start dating in highschool just to go through all the drama if we went off separate ways after college.

His twice a year attempts of asking me out on a date however never got in the way of our friendship, in my eyes atleast. After a couple of days of pouting after getting turned down, we make up and he tells me about the newest fling he had or the next girl he was going to pursue. I always was happy that he wasn't short of ladies in Highscool. As for me, I just had a secret sexting partner no body knew about for a few months in highschool, but that was about far as I got.

Jake and I ended up going to college in the same city, but a week into college, I met my first boyfriend. He was nothing to brag about, I was convinced I was in love with him and that he was a good guy, but it turned out to be multiple times being cheated on, multiple on again off again situations but finally 4 years later, I broke it off with him right after we graduated. This was a time in our lives that Jake and I drifted apart, I guess in high school he didn't care much about me not wanting to date him, because I didn't date anyone else either, but when I got into my college relationship, he was visibly upset and never found a way to deal with it. Like before, he didn't really hide the fact that he wanted me, and he didn't care if my ex knew that; which in turn my ex always said, "Fiona, if you don't cut him off, he's going to end up sleeping with you one way or the other!"

I always found that statement to be condescending, because I thought then I'll always have enough self control to not sleep with my best friend, I found the idea of that to be kinda repulsive.

I broke up with my ex at the end of college and decided to take a break from the dating world again. Our relationship was definitely not a model relationship, with me convinced he was the one for me for the first two years and then a year of me just hanging on because I was afraid of being alone; and finally when I realized it was not going to last between us and it wasn't healthy for me to be with him, I just wanted him to stick around till I finished college, just so I could get laid without having to take a different dick in me. However, through all this crazy rollercoaster of a fucked up relationship, Jake was there for me when I needed him, to be the shoulder to cry on and sometimes even help me realize my self worth. Makes me sound stupider for hanging onto my shitty ex, but I believed college is your naive years.

By the time I was out of college and decided I work on myself, Jake has gotten his dating life together and was in a serious two year relationship, and he was engaged. I genuinely was super happy for him and even though my relationship with his fiancé, Haley, wasn't the closest, I did my best to support him and hence put in extra effort to be good to her and play nice with her. During this time, Jake and I also rekindled our friendship and we started being there for each other more, during the good times and the bad.

A year down the road, I was doing better myself progressing in my career and being a more independent and collected person. Jake and his fiancé was in the process of planning their wedding and but unfortunately they were living in two different states because Haley's job required her to be away two weeks at a time, and I was happy and proud of him for making their long distance relationship work... Until one day I was hanging out at his apartment after a long day of work, having a few drinks and watching some TV, when his roommate, Ty, came back from what looked like a heavy evening of drinking, and started bragging about the couple of chicks they pulled the weekend before. I was caught terribly off guard and couldn't really fathom what I was hearing, my best friend was cheating on his fiancé. This was not fun for me to hear either, being a person that has been on the receiving end of cheating, and especially about my best friend and confidant. I looked at Jake and he looked annoyed at his roommate for spilling the beans, and to which the roommate said, "Oh chill out man, Fiona has known you forever and she's not gonna judge. So what you have a few sluts you sleep with, it's not like you're married... YET."

After this exchange, I needed a minute, I excused myself and said I was going to call it a night. I left and that drive home was one of the most confusing 30 minutes I've had. I was caught between having to cover for my best friend going forward, and feeling disgusted that my best friend would do such a fucked up thing to the girl he was about to marry. I saw Jake calling and I just texted back telling him I need a minute to process all of this info.

He responded with a, "I know how you feel about this, this is why you didn't know. Take all the time you need, but please come back soon."

I called him the next day, because I believed I owed him a chance to explain himself. He told me for the while Haley's been away, he's been hooking up with a few people. He said it started out during a fight he had with Haley, followed by a night in the city with his roommate. He also said a few weeks later he stopped sleeping with random chicks he met at bars, but he kept hooking up with this one girl in his apartment building, she always flung herself at him and didn't have enough self respect to care if he was engaged. The phone call lasted a while and I tried to explain to him how terrible this sounded, but it sounded like he didn't really care for morals and this was going to go on until he couldn't pursue this lifestyle further. I told him I didn't want to be a part of this, nor even know what's going on, to which he said, "Well I've seen you go through worse with your ex and I've always stood by you. If you can't return the favor when I need it, so be it. You're always welcome to be a part of my life to whichever extent you want, but I don't want to feel like I'm being judged by you Fiona."

...

Few months passed after this call, we still kept in touch and I always tried to make it feel like I was there for him, but since the incident he didn't open up much to me. It was his birthday and his fiancé reached out to me and his roommate to help set up a party for him. Unfortunately she couldn't be back this weekend so we decided to have a small intimate night in with a couple of friends to celebrate the day, but to throw a party when Haley came back the next week. With the help of his roommate, we organized a small gathering for just his close family and a couple of friends.

The night of his birthday came around and I ended up running a late at work and didn't get there until past 10:30. By the time I arrived, his family and friends were already leaving but I decided to go hang out with him and his roommate for a little while. I parked my car on his drive way and walked in. I decided to dress up a little to keep the vibes of night to a little more just a casual hangout. I was in a spaghetti strap purple velvet mini dress that stopped right before my knees, and my 2 and a half inch party heels.

I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell, I was greeted by his roommate. He was a few drinks in and introduced me to this girl he claims to have been seen a couple of times. I asked him where Jake is and he said he'll be right out. I made my way to the couch, and I was unpleasantly surprised to see Maddison, 'the apartment building slut' as I refer to her. Her intentions were not in anyway masked, as she wore a short plaid skirt with a tank top that barely covered her atleast-C-Cup breasts. The skirt ended right under where I like assume her panties stopped, and thr outfit left next to nothing to the imagination. Not having too many interactions with her before this, I just said hi and sat across from her on the couch. The roommate, Ty, walks outside to the patio and continues to talk to the girl he was with.

Jake makes his way out of his room, making the loudest raquet on the way, and it's apparent he's been drinking quite a bit. He sees me and gets excited and yells, "It's been too long Fi, I missed you!", hugs me and picks me up off the couch in an embrace.

"Happy birthday Jakey, I missed you too. But boyy the alcohol breath," I said as he continued to hug me and now his arms tight around my hips and his face nuzzled in my neck. I let this play out for a minute and finally start backing out of the embrace, and said, "Calm down Drinky, you don't wanna make your guest uncomfortable now," referring to Maddie.

He looks at her and says, "Oh no Maddie doesn't mind. She's used to sharing me and I've told her about the multiple times you've shot me down."

I looked back at her uncomfortably and said "I apologize for my drunk friend here," and made my way back to the couch. Jake starts complimenting about how good I look and how he hasn't seen me dressed up in a while.

"Well Jakey, I wanted to be a little glam for your birthday, but had I known you'd be this drunk, I would've dressed more comfortable," I said as he shoots back a look and an annoyed reply, "You're late to a party you're throwing."

Maddie gets upto go get another drink and Jake moves his way closer to me, and says, "you sure you don't wanna take me up on the offer again?"

"Well Jakey, you're juggling two women, and Maddie is out there looking really sexy for you, so you'll have your hands full tonight," I said disapprovingly.

"Maddie is trying to over compensate cuz she knew you'd be here, and she knows you don't approve and she also knows I'd much rather have you. So you don't need to be jealous of her."

"Jake you're forgetting the most important part of this, your fiance."

"She's not you either Fi, I want you, like I always did beautiful," and he pulled me closer and onto his lap as he said it. I don't know what stopped me from moving away from him then like I usually do; maybe I was missing how he'd constantly be there at my disposal, maybe it was the approval and his raw, unfiltered words, maybe it was being wanted after constantly being disregarded by my last man or maybe I was kinda jealous he didn't put my disapproval of his actions when he chose to keep fucking Maddison... I don't know which one it was but this is when it all started going downhill.

Here I was on his lap, with my dress riding up, feeling my thighs on his, feeling his hand resting between my thighs, dangerously close to my panties and his other hand wrapped around my midriff. I let it happen, I was enjoying the closeness too much to make him stop, knowing he wanted me more than his wife-to-be (who was so hot she can just be mistaken for a swimsuit model by the way), and more than his hook up, who was clearly here to let him have his way with her.

I heard Maddie walk back and quickly moved back to my side of the couch. I was turned on, confused, and as much as I didn't wanna be, I was getting wet in my panties. I was wet for a man who I thought was platonic to me and an engaged man. I knew at that poing I was no better than Maddison, but I didn't want them to know it. She came back and jumped on his lap, as Ty and his girl walked back onto the love seat by the TV. There was a movie playing that no one seemed to follow. Ty grabbed himself a throw blanket and got cozy under there with his chick, and Maddie was glad to take the invite and do the same.

Jake suggested we dim the lights and finish up the movie. I started suggesting otherwise but was outvoted by all of them. A dark environment was the last thing I needed now. I shifted my attention to the TV and tried to follow what seemed to be an early 2000s comedy. After what seemed like an hour, but was just 10 minutes of the movie, I tilted my head to see Ty and his girl making out on the couch. I was a few feet away from them and I couldn't entirely see what was happening over there in the darkness, I moved my eyes to Jake and Maddie on the other end of the couch. His shirt has come off, her top was definitely moved around. I started paying more attention to what was going on there. I had no doubt that he had his fingers worked up in her, and her head pushed back with her eyes closed was enough to confirm it.

She seemed to be having such a good time, getting fingered by Jake while her hands seemed to be moving on his body. I did my best to pretend to watch the movie, because I couldn't leave. I wanted to, I should've but something I can't pin point kept me on that couch, wanting and waiting to see what would happen. Ty got up with his girl and said they're gonna call it a night. It was no secret what was going to happen with them tonight. I wished them good night and moved my eyes back to the TV.

A couple of minutes later, Maddie started squirming more than she already was. All I could think was how this bitch was cumming right on this couch, next to me, with fingers of a man that would much rather be inside me according to its owner.

That's the first time I ever felt that possessive about Jake. I made little effort to mask my eagerness to watch them. Jake was facing the other way and from the light coming off the TV, I could see Maddie clearly rubbing his cock moving her hands up and down his shaft. Right on que, we could hear Ty fucking the girl he just took to the room; her loud moans and constant repetition of his name and the headboard hitting the walls. Thin walls, loud girl, it was almost as if the room wasn't boxed in.

I watched Maddie run her hands over Jake's cock and her motions were getting harder and faster. I watched her move her hand and broke my gaze to look at Jake, what was he feeling. I felt like I was a deer in headlights when I caught him looking at me and our eyes met. He was staring right at me while getting his cock rubbed by his slut. He then moved his free hand across the couch and moved it towards my hand, almost invitingly. I decided that was my time to leave, I didn't say anything I looked at him and got off the couch. As quiet as I could, I stepped out the door and rushed to my car, heels in hand.

I was turned on, mad and also was trying hard to fathom everything I just experienced. I needed to get laid is all I knew, and all of my self development went down the drain when I decided to call my ex.

"Hey how's it going with you?" was the response I received when he picked up.

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm about to head out to the club, it's Friday!"

"I'm about to drive past your house, I'm going to stop in for a few," is all I could tell him.

He responded with, "quick restroom stop Fi?"

If only this man knew why I was about to come over, or more importantly why I was horny enough to clearly make a mistake, he'd have a Field day knowing he was right about Jake the whole time.

I got to his house and the door was left open for me, I rushed in, pulled my dress up exposing my lace panties and sat him down. No words were exchanged and I didn't owe him words. I unbuckled his belt, pulled his pants down to reveal a familiar cock staring me in my face. A cock that satisfied me 4 years, a cock that almost always delivered me an orgasm or more often 2. I sat up on the couch and pushed him inside of me. I was so fucking wet there that I slid in with no difficulty. I rode him like I've not done before. I took control, he didn't say a thing or move an arm. He laid there letting me ride him just enjoying everything that was going on. I kept riding up and down his cock until I hit that sweet sweet orgasm I've not had with someone else in 2 years. Much different and intense than the one my Vibrator would give me.

I got off him, and said, "you owed me one, but that's the last." and walked out the front door. No calls to follow up, no texts. I went home and went to bed hoping a nights sleep would set me straight and get me out of my stupid phase I'm going through.

I woke up the next morning to a text from my ex that said "You left these," with a picture of my panties from the night before.

I responded with "Keep them, remind yourself what you're missing."

I got a response back saying, "I can live without the drama, but you're always welcome to take a ride."

I said "mistakes happen, like our 4 years together, but don't expect to see me again."

I don't know what I expected to see after, but I didn't expect that dumpster of a man to say, "If you fucked like that back then, maybe I wouldn't have had to fuck anyone else. My loss tho I guess."

I felt like absolute trash seeing that. Did I just let that man get inside me and fuck me like he did his whores again? I started spiraling with self pity. Did I do this thinking of what I'd want my best friend to do to me? I didn't know what to do or feel, I broke down crying for a long time. I cried all the way till noon, and I felt no better at the end of that. I didn't know what to do, but I felt like it was best to talk to Jake about everything that happened and tell him we need a break from each other.

I knew Jake slept in, usually past noon on Saturdays, and today was Saturday. I got in my car and started driving to his, I picked up some coffee on the way and reached Jake's apartment. His car was parked in his usual spot which meant he was home. I went in and rang the door bell and ran into Ty, who was on his way out to work. He mentioned Jake was still asleep and let me in as he rushed out. I walked into the house and walked into Jake's room with the coffee, to find him waking up next to a knocked out Maddison, who I was certain was unclothed entirely. I stepped right back out and texted Jake asking him to come outside.

I went back to the couch that I was on the previous night, watching my almost-married best friend getting pleasured, watching him make another woman cum right next to, just minutes after he made me feel like just submitting to him. I remembered every bit of everything that happened. I was getting turned on again. Where's my self control, where's my self worth...? I heard Jake coming out of the room and said, "Aren't you an angel for bringing coffee."

"Jake we need to talk about last night. I can't ever have that happen again."

"I was drunk, I was going through something of my own. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, but it won't happen again Fi.. Come grab a barstool at the kitchen and let me make us some pancakes," he said as he made his way to the kitchen.

I followed him and said, "I really hope we can get past this. I need some time apart but I will be okay I promise."

I started tearing up and felt tears role down my face.

Jake was still in just his boxers and turned the stove on. He looked at me and his expression changed into a look of worry and compassion as he looked at me and asked if I'm crying because of him. I broke down and told him everything that happened since, all the way upto the text exchange this morning. Jake remained silent throughout my account of last night and said nothing in response. I sat in silence waiting for him to say something. He took his time and made a few pancakes before walking towards me. He looked at me disappointed, put his land on my shoulder and said, "I'am sorry for what happened, but you're a fucking idiot for letting yourself go back to him."