Several years ago I was blessed with the good fortune of dating a woman who changed the way I feel about human relationships and sex. Tessa had contacted me on a dating website for middle class professionals. She was refreshingly upfront, explaining that she liked my profile but she was only in the country for a few months between overseas contracts. However, if I was okay with that situation, she was keen to meet me.
Her profile photo showed a slim, athletic lady of forty in jeans, sweater and casual jacket. She had a natural, wholesome appearance, no make up, just a warm, confident smile from an intelligent face fringed by tousled mousy hair. She was somewhat older than me but clearly fit and attractive in an unpretentious way, just my type. I had dated an older woman before and it had worked better than many other relationships, so I gladly agreed to meet.
She lived an hour or so from my home town, and I was working part-time night shifts between studying for a masters, so with one thing or another we had to postpone our first meeting. But the weeks passed quickly until one dark Winter's evening I stood on the bridge by the rail station looking out for her. Sure enough, a tall figure approached out of the dark, peering cautiously towards me, I waved and we smiled in recognition.
Tessa was beautiful in an under-stated way. Her casual, outdoor style belied her svelte physique and graceful body language. The evening went well, just low-key, chatting over a few drinks and a meal, but we very quickly relaxed in each other's company and it felt like we had potential to connect more closely. Tessa's light blue grey eyes regarded me with a steady gaze as the conversation flowed. She spoke clearly and concisely with a soft, low, neutral accent, and her words were few but well chosen. She communicated almost more through her subtle facial expressions, and I felt myself being charmed by her as I answered her questions and she listened attentively.
She had arranged to stay with friends on the other side of town and I was delighted when she accepted my offer to walk her there. We were both about the same height so we easily fell into step, and our arms quickly found their way around each other's waists. I was enjoying the feel of her denim clad hip swaying and lilting under my hand and it seemed a shame to reach her friends' street so soon.
"I would invite you in, but unfortunately it's not my house," she murmured apologetically. "And I don't really know you that well ... yet." She smiled quizzically as she turned to face me.
"I hope we can rectify that soon, I must say I have really enjoyed this evening."
She nodded and even as I was speaking we moved comfortably into each other's arms and our lips joined in a soft, lingering kiss. Our embrace continued and we kissed again, pressing our lips more firmly, and then as our embrace tightened our mouths opened and our tongues entwined over and over. We stood necking passionately for several minutes, our bodies pressed together, and I felt her pubic bone pressing insistently against my thigh as my hands traced her flanks. Neither wanted to end, but eventually we parted, agreeing to meet again at the earliest opportunity.
***
The following week I stepped off the train and looked around the crowded platform. The crowds subsided and Tessa stepped forward and took my hand with a brief formal kiss on the cheek. She seemed slightly preoccupied and led me briskly to the short stay car park.
"It's nearly rush hour so I'm keen to get going," she explained.
The short drive was a blur of lights and torrential rain. Leaving the main road, we pulled up on a steep, terraced street and rushed for the door. Inside the kitchen was small and quaint in a slightly dingy way as if it had not been lived in for a while. She opened a beer for me and I sat while she made some food.
"Before you mention the décor, I can assure you it's not my choice. I'm house-sitting this place with a friend for a few months, so everything you see is the owners' stuff."
"Is your friend here now?" I asked, wondering if that might be why she seemed kind of self-conscious.
"No she's out for the night, so we can chill out without being disturbed."
"Ah, that's good," I smiled. "Erm, is everything okay? Do you want me to help with anything?"
"No I made the food already, it just needs warming up. You can open this." She plonked a bottle of wine on the table, took a deep breath, sighed and looked at me properly.
"Actually, I am really, REALLY nervous," her voice was calm but her eyes were pleading.
"So am I!" We both laughed, and I embraced her gently.
"You see I've just brought a complete stranger back with me and I'm not sure what I'm doing." Her face relaxed into a smile and she nuzzled into my embrace as I rocked her like a child.
"It's okay. Let's just enjoy the meal and a glass of wine. I've been working nights so I'm probably going to fall asleep imminently. In any case, I am very well behaved and I don't like to rush things."
She nodded and listened with great seriousness before we both burst out laughing.
"OMG we're so fucking formal!" I giggled and she grinned at me.
"You are a nice guy." She kissed me. "Okay, let's eat and watch telly or something. How's that?"
"Great" I replied.
Tessa was a keen chef and the meal was delicious. We retired with the rest of the wine to cosy up on the sofa in the tiny sitting room with a nature video. A cheerless gas fire sputtered feebly in the fire place while rain pelted the windows.
"I hope you don't mind me saying, but this house is absolutely freezing."
"I know, it's damp. We can snuggle up with this if you like."
She pulled a blanket from the armchair and we cuddled together under it. In the shared warmth, our hands reached out and tentatively explored, tracing elbows, wrists, fingers entwining as our breathing slowed and deepened. Our faces turned from the screen to each other, and our mouths met softly at first, then firmly as we embraced fully laid out on the sofa. She pulled back slightly and we gazed deeply into each others' eyes.
"I don't feel nervous now," she said quietly.
"Me neither"
"I think we'd be more comfortable in bed."
"Sounds good to me."
We rose, quickly switching everything off and she led me upstairs to a small cupboard-like door on the landing. Behind this a tiny, steeper set of steps led up to a rather nice converted attic. She lit scented candles to reveal a large sturdy wooden double bed, a neat stack of boxes and suitcases in one corner and a pc on a small desk. The walls and ceiling were all panelled in pine planks, and the overall feeling was clean and spacious. She switched on a small heater, powered up the pc and selected an ambient ethnic play list which I recognised, then stood in front of me, took both of my hands and drew me into an embrace.
"This is much nicer than downstairs," I said.
"Yeah, it's warmer too. That's why I bagged it." She smiled and kissed me. "Make yourself comfortable while I pop to the loo."
