UGH... The dreaded Company Christmas party. The fake smiles. The pretending to care for a few hours while the spouses listen to the corporate elite kiss minion asses for a few hours. Three hours into a 4 hour event, everyone is plastered and the parking garage is a "life or death" obstacle course as everyone tries to leave at the same exact time.
My wife had come home with the news... date and time of the event. I stood there and smiled. Tried to be enthusiastic about the event as I agreed to go.
I poured myself a drink and checked on dinner. I labeled myself as a corporate widow. I was the invisible man at most of these events. The guys she worked with ALL wanted to talk shop or sports - which none of them followed. I did not know any of them and it just felt awkward. The staff was 27 guys and three women. My wife was the senior of the three and a "super star" as far as employees went. The "rumor mill" said that she was next in line for partner. A year ago, I had very little knowledge of the inner workings and thought it was just another meaningless promotion. So I started doing some research on the company, female partnerships and subscribed to their news letter. It made a splash with some at the next company party, but that was where the excitement died.
I got a little more involved in her career and she did appreciate the support. Late suppers, dragging home work and missing a few date nights were part of the benefits package I kept telling myself.
"She'll make partner... things will get better." I kept telling myself.
There was a spark in her eye as she told me about the party. "There is going to be a 9 piece band, better food than last year and... " she tapered off.
I looked up from my drink, "And?"
SIGH... "They are going to announce PARTNER!!" she nearly yelled.
"Awesome!!" I replied kind of excited.
In years past they ALWAYS made everyone wait until New Years and then they mailed the announcement. "There is no glory in that..." I usually joked. "The winner should be able to rub it in EVERYONE'S face... ruin their Christmas and feel good about it for at least ONE night..."
Joni usually laughed at that. In college she was very competitive. She won a scholarship for softball and made it onto the track team as a walk on. She won a lot of events and the softball team won the AAA Championships her Senior year. She was a little ass kicker and work was no different.
Last year, she was snubbed for partner. That guy ended up losing a huge account and was transferred to Korea. It was rumored that he caught gonorrhea before his family transferred in and his wife left him. When Joni told me the story I misunderstood and thought she said diarrhea. It was an inside joke but one she still enjoyed. So every year when the talk of partner came up, I made the joke "I hope he still has diarrhea".
The year before, it was her first year and NOBODY makes partner their first time on the list. So she accepted the loss in one evening.
Remembering last year... It took two bottles of Merlot before she was feeling better about herself.
Anyway... The next part of this conversation got a little more interesting.
EVERY year we went through the same old bullshit "I have nothing to wear". This year, I was ready. I made her an appointment at a local boutique that she enjoyed going to but never really had the time to shop and try things on.
As she poured herself a glass of wine, she kicked off her shoes and started to bite her lower lip. A nervous tick she had when she wanted to ask an imposition of me. As she looked up and me, I set my drink down and looked her in the eye. "You don't have anything to wear... do you?"
She smiled. This conversation ALWAYS meant that I had to take her shopping someplace and bounce around to multiple shops.
I pulled an envelope out of my pocket and handed it to her. I had rented THE boutique for 1 hour. I had a suspicion that the store owner had a small crush on my wife. She always fussed over her when we went in and complained that the ONLY time we ever saw her was when we needed clothes. She flirted with my wife from time to time, but we were always in such a hurry to get in and out that she never took notice.
"WHAT?" she asked.
"I rented your favorite boutique for one hour." I proudly replied.
"But I-" she started to protest.
"RELAX... Mona said that if you buy something from her this year she will refund 20% and sell you the most expensive garment you choose for 20$ off." I explained.
"She said if you model it for her she would take an additional 25% off." I jested.
"She did not!!" Joni said as her face turned red.
I laughed. "God knows what you could get out of that woman if you slept with her."
"Ass hole..." she said playfully.
We finished our wine and ate. We tried to watch some TV but it was late and she was tired. I soaked the dished and went to bed with her.
The next few days dragged by. I passed the afternoons by shopping for myself. I grabbed a new tie and sports coat.
Joni called me from work and said that she was running late so she was just going to go straight to the Boutique so she wouldn't miss the appointment.
"You mean I don't get to go shopping with you?" I asked sarcastically.
"I love you too... asshole" she whispered.
I had rented the boutique for one hour (6 to 7) on a Thursday. Mona said this was the slowest time for her, so it was perfect. Joni showed up a few minutes late, which was acceptable to Mona.
Mona was very laid back and a widower. She was a few years older than us and she had a wild side to her. I didn't know her too much but I knew how to read most people.
Joni walked into the store and the lights were down low. Mona met her at the front of the store and turned the closed sign around. She smiled and greeted Joni. "You want some wine?" Mona asked.
"That would be very nice." Joni replied.
I had left a bottle there with Mona. It just happened to be one of her favorites, so things were going well.
"I hope you don't mind, but your husband told me what you are shopping for, so I took a few things off the rack to save you some time." Mona informed her.
Joni was impressed and followed her back to the dressing rooms. There was a small rack with about 8 dressed on it. Joni looked them over and found a few that she wanted to buy right there on the spot.
"I know its late... so if you want me to just bring them to you one at a time, you don't have to keep running back and forth." Mona said to her.
"Oh..." Joni said "That is a good idea."
Mona motioned her to the dressing rooms. Joni grabbed a dress and slipped into the first room. She slipped out of her work clothes and pulled the dress on.
"Oh my Gawd..." she caught herself gasping.
