Everything feels so good on ecstasy. Even after she had had the biggest orgasm in recent years, my touch still elicited a strong response from her. As she cuddled into me, she gently stroked my cock, and I rubbed her back gently with my finger tips. We were both very content.
It was getting late now. We had been up since 7am and it was now nearly 3am. We were both tired, and yet both trying to make the most of the remaining ecstasy. We both figured that we'd be knocked out hard in the next hour or so.
"Let's go back outside," she said.
"OK," I agreed.
And so once again, between rounds, we were outside, listening to the fog horns, enjoying the cold air across our sweaty flesh.
"Thank you for doing this, Kelly. This truly means the world to me. You've really given me a wonderful night. There's definitely a few things we've done tonight that I've been looking forward to for a long time!"
"What do you mean?" she asked, taking a deep drag off her cigarette.
"Well, there's just a lot of things I've fantasized about that we've never really been able to do. I know with the distractions and the kids, and worrying about someone barging into our room at night, it's hard for you to relax and let go," I said as I rubbed her hand. "It's been really nice sharing this with you and being in the same headspace with you." I smiled.
"I'm sorry it's so hard for me to relax. I really am. All the bad stuff as a kid. Throw on all the religious dogma and shame. Add in our children, stress, work and all the responsibilities around the house, sex is just never on my mind. And when it is, I just feel all this shame and guilt from my upbringing -- 'good girls don't like sex' theology from church. I just...I'm sorry. I know how much all this means to you, and frankly these last 24 hours have been a great reminder of how important and fun it is to be with you. I'll strive harder to be in this mindset with you more often, okay?"
I squeezed her hand and nodded. "Thank you." I said.
"But we're having a lot of fun tonight, right?" she reassured me, quickly switching to a more upbeat tone. "So tell me, what are some of these things you've fantasized about?" she asked, turning towards me and taking another drag off her cigarette.
It was asked honestly and innocently, but there was also a bit of mischief in her tone too, and I loved it. We were in uncharted territory here. We never really talked about things openly like this. I was too ashamed, and she was uncomfortable with the topic.
I hesitated. "Well, mostly I just think about being close to you and feeling connected and having fun. I think most of the things I want to do we've essentially done, it's just different tonight because you're so willing and well, accommodating. And that's what I fantasize about the most. Both of us just truly enjoying each other, no worries or distractions holding us back. Just letting go and having hot, sweaty sex, each eager to please one another. No inhibitions. No worries or concerns about judgment. Just having fun and being a little naughty and playful."
She took a moment to listen and let it sink in.
"And you know, I think about sex with you A LOT," I admitted. "Like, constantly."
"Wait. What?! What do you mean?" she replied.
"Honey. I think about sex with you all day long. Every day."
She cracked a smile, and rolled her eyes.
"I swear to you. It's true" I insisted.
But she still didn't believe me. "Well, maybe you just think about sex in general terms. Maybe porn. Or cumming or something. Like in the generic. Not about me and certainly not all day long. That's clearly an exaggeration."
I leaned forward in my chair and faced her, looking her deep into her eyes. "No. I think about YOU! I think about being with YOU! Getting passionate and sweaty and moaning with you! I think naughty thoughts about you all day long," I confessed. "And when I say all day long, I mean dozens and dozens and dozens of times per day."
She was clearly taken aback.
"You're serious?!" she paused. It was starting to sink in. "I really had no idea. It's kind of hard to believe."
It was time to be completely honest.
"Kel. I think about fucking you all day long. About feasting on your breasts, then fucking them before cumming all over them. About draining my load after fucking your mouth. Watching your tits bounce as you ride up and down on me. You tying me down and sitting on my face. Bending you over and fucking you from behind while I pull your hair, your tits swaying beneath you. And you telling me what you want and how good it feels the whole time while you moan in pleasure and touch yourself. We're in bed. Out back. In the shower. In the tub. In the kitchen. On the couch. On the beach. I picture you in sexy outfits - from flannel tops and jeans, to short skirts. I picture you bending over in this skirt, and you're not wearing and panties, and you're just begging me to fuck you from behind. Everything we've been doing these last 24 hours -- these things are in my brain. All. Day. Long."
There it was. I told her the honest truth. She now knew how much I thought about being with her.
There was a long pause.
"I honestly don't realize anyone could feel that way about me. I had never even considered myself that way before. You truly think of me that way?" she questioned.
"Yes."
"Seriously? You think of me as sexually as that?!"
"Yes. Constantly."
"Wow." she was still trying to process it. "I guess it's good to know the truth. And I'm sorry you've never felt comfortable telling me this."
"I know the topic makes you squirm and get uncomfortable. I know there's a lot of trauma shame in this department. I didn't want to put things on you that made you feel even more overwhelmed." I responded.
"I appreciate that. Really I do. And as I said earlier, I'm sorry the sex thing is hard for me. But I really do like being with you, and I'll admit, it's pretty hot knowing you think of me that way."
"I do....a lot!" I smiled.
"Well, is there anything in particular you're thinking about that you wanted to try?" she flirted, as her hand left mine, and slid to my thigh, her nails scraping towards my member.
I moaned in appreciation. "Oh, I'm sure I could put a couple ideas together" I smiled through the pleasure.
"Hmmm...well maybe we should go back inside and we can try some?" she teased, as her nails scraped along my balls.