I plod through the sludge on the street, cursing every neighbor who hasn't shoveled their part of the sidewalk.
I shoveled mine, goddammit.
I've been shoveling snow all goddamn morning. I had to get up at six to shovel Jen out so she could get an early start. On a goddamn Saturday! Then, of course, as soon as she left and I sat down to breakfast, Mrs. Duvet had to call. In my mind, I told her, "I don't give a fuck if that eighty-year-old skinsack of a husband of yours breaks a hip or bursts an artery; you tell him to shovel his own fucking driveway! But, of course, I said, "Sure thing, be right there!" like the fucking pushover I am.
And I wasn't done being a pushover, no. When, in thanks for shoveling her long-ass driveway, the old bat gave me the worst fucking cup of hot chocolate I've ever had in my life, I didn't dump it on her driveway and ask her, "How could anyone be so fucking stupid as to think giving this lukewarm, clumply, flavorless shit would be a kind gesture? No, I thanked her and told her it "was just what I needed!"
Fuck that. Fuck her. Fuck me. What I need is a hot shower and to go back to bed.
Dreams of my pillow fill my head as I turn the corner and my house comes into view.
There's a car parked in Jen's spot. It's not Jen's car.
As I get closer, my chest turns warm.
I know that silver Volvo.
It's Chloe's.
I knew she'd be back for winter break; Lena mentioned some plans they had.
But I didn't think-
I shouldn't be surprised. Her showing up unannounced at the house is how everything began. I've entertained the notion that she knew for a fact that I was home alone that day and that she had intended things to happen as they did. At first, the thought made me smile. Then it slowly infuriated me, like I'd been conned somehow.
As I near the house, I rush through the speech in my head once more. I've rehearsed many times before, but now it's only coming to me in fragments.
What happened between us was good, beautiful even... it doesn't make sense for us to do anything like it again... we risk hurting the people we love... we could seriously ruin our lives... I'm glad we shared that one experience, and we can look back on it... find yourself a good guy... a guy you age... teach him a thing or two.
She's standing on the porch, shivering by the front door. She rings the doorbell three times. My car is here, and I left all the lights on. She must think I'm inside. She doesn't hear me approach from behind.
I stop at the bottom of the steps.
"Chloe?"
She turns, and a mere glance at her face makes me weak--the black hair, the heart-shaped face, the massive silver-blue eyes, the full cupid's bow lips. She smiles--not her usual casual smirk, but a broad grin.
"Hi!"
Is she nervous too? Or is it just the cold?
She's got a coat on but hasn't bothered to close it. And she certainly isn't warmly dressed underneath it. She's wearing a dark blue halter top, its deep plunging collar exposing the inner curve of her light olive breasts. I see them in my mind, bare and undulating. I remember the weight of them in my hand and the softness of the skin against my lips. The silky fabric does nothing to mask her cold, hard nipples. The top ends short of her pants, so two inches of her belly can be seen. I think of those ab muscles in motion as she ground herself against me. Her pants seem to be those leggings that are made to look like jeans, letting me revel in the shape of her hips and thighs. It's a nicer, more feminine look than I would expect from her.
Perhaps she dressed up just for me?
"How long have you been here?" I ask. "You look frozen."
"Only a couple of minutes. But, yeah, I'm sooo cold."
"Well, come on in."
I step up to the porch and passed her to open the door. She doesn't move aside but stays right where she is, so I have to get close. She's laid the perfume on a little thick, but I don't mind; the scent is incredible--floral and earthy.
We step inside. With all my winter gear still on, the sudden upward temperature shift makes me sweat instantly. She closes the door and watches me as I start stripping off all the extra layers. I wish she'd look away. There's nothing erotic about the way I'm undressing, and I don't feel particularly sexy. I'm too sweaty and tired to feel sexy.
"So," I say, after the awkward silence has become too much, "it's certainly surprising to see you here. Didn't your semester end yesterday?"
"Yeah, but I drove here this morning."
"Here? Straight here to this house?"
"Yeah. My parents don't think I'll be in town until tonight."
She's insane. She must have gotten up at four in the morning to be here now.
"You knew no one else would be here?"
"Lena and I were comparing travel schedules; she said Jen was picking her up, not you."
"I got a gig coming up, need the time to get ready."
"Oh... cool."
"Chole... I'm not sure what you came here expecting--"
"But what happened last time was a mistake and can't happen again."
"Basically, yes. I--I don't think it was a mistake. It was good--beautiful even! But it would be a mistake to continue down that road. There's just no where it leads that won't be catastrophic to my life."
"I know."
"So please, no more showing up unannounced when you know I'm home alone."
She hasn't made eye contact since we came inside, but now she looks at me with longing eyes.
"I won't again, I promise."
She steps closer, so she must lift her head and look up at me.
"But I'm here now. No one is expecting me for hours."
Lord, help me. No, I've made my call. It's the right call.
"Chloe, I can't. It is probably better for you that way. It may not be the same a second time. Besides, I haven't showered today; I'm a total mess."
"I'd be happy to shower with you."
She presses her body against me and wraps her arms around my waist. I feel the firmness of her breasts against my ribs. She gives another huge smile as my swelling cock lengthens along her abdomen.
I take her hands, remove them from my body, and step back.
"Chloe... I'm not rejecting
you
. If I could be with you without consequence... I'm glad we shared that one experience and can look back on it. But that's all I can offer you. You should move on. Find yourself a young guy. Not that you have to be with one guy! You could find a bunch of guys. Not like all at once! I mean-"
She laughs.
"I know what you mean!"