The Best Sex Positions

The Best Sex Positions

(sorta bi)

I was out on a first date with this girl from a dating website. She was cute, like real cute. But we weren't hitting it off. Something was missing and the conversation was going nowhere.

Then we overheard these two loud guys on the other side of the room talking about sex positions. The one guy said that the best position was sixty-nine because both could be orally satisfied at the same time. The other said doggy because there was nothing better than the view of a girl's butthole while fucking.

We laughed quietly. Then Audrey asked sheepishly, "Is it true? About the view?"

I didn't know how to answer. I did like the view, but to admit it out loud. We started whispering and I said, "It's not my FAVORITE position but if I find myself doing it..."

"Really, you don't mind looking at the place where, you know, poop comes out!"

I felt nervous, "During the act I never thought of it as that. When you're caught up in the moment it's just - really cute."

She looked me dead in eyes, "So what IS your favorite position?" Then she covered her face with her hands, "I can't believe I just asked that."

I was gonna change the topic. But every other avenue had already run dry as it seemed we had no other common ground. "If I had to pick I would have to say Missionary."

"You're lying. The way you said it. I can tell." She was kinda right.

"Ok, well, it IS Missionary, except..."

"You can tell me. We're never gonna see each other again." There. She said what we were both thinking. "Shit! I didn't mean that. You're a nice guy."

"You're just being honest. This is the only time we've hit it off since we've been here."

Then we just stared at each other through the long pause until she picked it up again, "Except...?"

My face grew hot and probably beet red. "If a girl were lying on her back. And there was, like a chair next to the bed. So the guy is fucking the girl Mish..." Then I couldn't go on.

"Oh you can't leave me hanging. Spill!"

"OK, OK, I wanna be in the chair watching." Like five emotions flitted across her face in three seconds. Then I had to defend myself. "Too much porn I guess. Stuck being a spectator. Am I broken or what?"

But to deflect I rebutted, "You're turn to spill. And no one word answers after what I did."

"I think you're right. About the porn breaking people." Now I was intrigued. A girl who watched porn. "I've only seen one pornographic image and it left a mark on me."

My hopes were dashed but I still wanted to know. "Do tell."

"So in the picture a guy is sitting with his back against the headboard. And the girl had been standing in front of him. But now she's bent down to grab her ankles. Straight legs. And she backs up until her pussy is on his mouth. And the picture brought up so many conflicting feelings and questions.

She went on at my silent urging, "Like, is he looking at her pooper and what's he thinking? And this was the first image of a dick I'd ever seen. And it was so big and stiff and it's very existence must mean that he liked what she was doing to him."

"Keep going."

"And she must've liked that he liked it because she was stroking his big tool at the same time. And I can't get it out of my head. And who knows, I mean, If I ever did it I might end up not liking it.

"Or liking it."

Some time went by. I ate a few cold french fries and she fiddled with her straw. Finally her words rushed out, "We should do it. Our two things. Then whatever embarrassment we might feel will become history, because you knew, we'll never have to see each other again."

"Audrey, you're super cute..."

"Says the man who thinks buttholes are cute."

"Says the cutie who wants to put her butthole in a guys face."

At last we had some clever repartee, "But as I was saying. I really think you're cute. And don't think me less of a man. But I want to feel something for a girl before having sex with her. Especially if my mouth is going to be on a part of her I've never even seen before. At the very least some affection..."

"That's why we're gonna have a few more dates. To develop at least some affection. Pick me up at five on Friday?"

"You are impulsive, aren't you? What'll we even do?"

"You're the man, Asher. Lead. Whatever you decide I'll follow."

I picked dinner and a movie. I picked the restaurant and I picked the movie. At dinner, as a joke she handed me her menu and said you decide. I decided she was gonna have the chicken in cream sauce, and later she said she never would have ordered that but ended up loving it.

Half way through the meal I said, "About that thing I want, part of the whole thing being in the chair is that I can't be leading right then."

"What are you saying? You don't wanna be the man?"

"No, I like being the man, this has been really great. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to be the man as long as zippers are up, but I want you to take charge whenever the zippers are down."

She got this devious smile on her face. "I think I could go for that, like all of it."

At the end of our date, driving her home, I said, "There's like a natural progression to dating. If we're gonna end up doing those two things then we've gotta start with the basics."

"And just what do you think the basics are?"

"Well, I think kissing for a start, and if we're gonna end up where we're gonna end up then probably a blow job tonight."

She stared at me hard and started to object, "That seems a little one-sided."

I countered, "You really think there's people out there doing that other stuff on their second date? But a BJ is kind of par for the course." Then I added, "Besides, our zippers are up."

Whatever complaint she had started to form died right there. Then she just said, "OK, whatever you say."

I leaned the driver's seat back and then tentatively, I unzipped my pants and I started to fish out my cock when she slapped my hands away.

"What do you think you're doing?That zipper's down, buster. "

Then she got all serious, "So, Ash, it's kinda hard to admit this, but I've never given a BJ before. So don't go blaming me if it's bad."

"There's no such thing as a bad blowjob. Then I rethought my position, "That is, unless you use teeth, well that's what I've heard. I have a confession too. I've only had two."

We laughed together and she laid her head on my shoulder. Slowly she reached her hand into my fly and started, squeezing and caressing my dick. In time, she pulled it out and when she bent down and sucked it into her mouth, it was amazing.

Suddenly she stopped, "OK, here's the deal, because I'm in charge. I'm gonna say how this is gonna go. First, you're not gonna come in my mouth - you're gonna give me lots of warning - and I'll finish you with my hand. I've given a hand job before."

I was ecstatic, "That's it? I can do that. That sounds great and you're really good at it so far."

Then with that evil look in her eye, as an afterthought she added, "And after you come, I'm gonna scoop it up and put it in your mouth and you're gonna like it."

I made this disgusted face, causing her to say, "You wanted ME to do it. It's the least you can do - and this is what me being in charge is all about. Unless never want another blowjob again?" I hadn't really considered that she might suck my dick more than the one time.

So she went back down and she resumed sucking my cock. The whole time all I could say was, "Wow, wow, this is great!" When I tapped her on the shoulder, she pulled off and started stroking me really fast with her hand. It shot all over my belly and before I knew what was happening her cum covered fingers were plunging into my mouth.

It was a strong flavor, hard to describe; bitter, salty, manly.

She wiped me clean with the tail of my shirt, put everything away and sat back in her seat as if nothing had happened. Fixing her hair she asked, "Was that everything you dreamed it would be?"

"And more! I never would've thought to do the things you did and they were exactly right."

I kissed her good night with the realization that her lips had been on my cock, then I blurted out, trying to be the leader she wanted, "I'm gonna pick you up tomorrow at noon." And I went around the car and I held the door for her.

I texted her in the morning. "I'm taking you to the park for a picnic and since my zipper is up I've decided that you should make the sandwiches. It's tradition anyway."

She texted back an emoji thumbs up and a little green heart.

On the drive there, biting her lip, she said, "There's this guy in my building who likes me though I could never have a long-term relationship with him. He's big and strong and handsome, but he follows me around like a puppy dog. He's not a leader like you," She leaned over and kissed my cheek, "but he just might be right for that thing you want."

We parked and I picked a beautiful meadow for our picnic. I spread the blanket and she set up the food. "Audrey, you make a killer sandwich."

"Thanks and you have great ideas for dates." After we ate, we were laying on a blanket together and we started to make out. Our bodies were pressed together which really got to me. I said, "Is it time we made love? Then I changed it to. "I think it's time we made love."

"Right here? What if someone sees us?"

"First, we're the only ones in the woods, who's gonna see us? Second, if they saw you naked they'd be very impressed."

"How would you know?"

Kneeling next to her prone body I grinned, "I'm about to find out."

I started to lift up her shirt and when her breast came into view I sucked in my breath suddenly, "Wow beautiful! Caressing her body, I removed the rest of her clothes, kissing as I did each piece. Shucking my own and getting on top, I placed my dick at the entrance to her pussy and asked, "Ready?"

"More than I've ever been."

"So you're not a virgin?"

"No, are you?"

"No. But I kinda wish we were so we could lose it together."

"You're such a romantic. But our zippers are down. So fuck me now. Hard! Harder!"

Holding her naked body close to mine in the sunshine I pounded like there was no tomorrow. She wrapped her ankles around my butt, opening wider. When I started to get close she warned me, "You better not cum before I get mine."

"Are you the boss?"

"You betcha!"

"So what if I do?"

"Then you'll owe me. Don't slow down: I'm close."

"Which do you want? For me not to slow down or not cum? Besides, if I owed you I could go for a repeat tomorrow."

"I want both. And if you owe me you're giving it to me right now."

"I'd be spent."

"You're slowing down. And thats where all this is leading up to, right? You sitting against my headboard while I back my pussy up to your mouth. You looking at my butthole that you think is gonna be so cute..."

"It's gotta be cute. Any girl as adorable as you just has to have a cute one. And if you love a person everything about them is great."

"Ugh, I lost it. But keep pumping maybe I'll get it back. Then you won't have to lick me when I'm full of cum."

At last I knew how I would owe her. I'd never licked a pussy before. And as much as I wanted to, doing it with my cum inside seemed gross. I imagined what her puss might look like. Then I pictured it with cum dripping out - and I shot my full load. Six or seven full squirts filled her to the brim.

When I calmed down she was looking at me with an expression I'd never seen before on anyone, "What?"

"Did you just tell me you love me?"

"No. I don't. That would be crazy. I mean I like you - very affectionately. I'm not in love. I might be falling - just a little."

"Well, I like you a lot too - very affectionately. But our zippers are still off and you implying that you would just HAVE to like my butt ruined my orgasm. You know what to do."

I got down between her legs, "Can I just look at it first?"

"Now you're making me self conscious."

I replied, "There's no embarrassment if we ever go our separate ways." Then I put my face within inches, "Whewee, it's a wonder."

"You've never seen one before?"

"Not up close." She spread her legs wide just for me.

"You're about to be a lot closer. Does it, does it smell ok, after...?"

I moved so a few hairs tickled my nose, "It doesn't smell like anything I've ever smelled before. It's fantastic!"

"I'll teach you." She rested her legs up on my shoulders, "Kiss my thigh. Now the other one." I did it.

"Oh that's good. Now work your way towards the center, gradually. Throw in some licks and nibbles."

When my tongue touched her labia it was like nothing else. I heard her breath get ragged and knew I was doing it right, "You're a good teacher."

"It's my first time - teaching. Maybe you're just a good study."

And then it happened. I wanted to know her more, know more about her body and her pussy. So I stuck my tongue inside. Audrey let out a little gasp, "You really did it! So now I know what you're capable of."

With her ankles behind my neck she pulled me right to her gaping gash, "Lick it cumsucker! Get in there and scoop out all the nasty gook."

I got as excited as her, "Oh baby I want the nasty cum. Give it all to me."

"All of it?"

"All of it!"

And she did something I didn't know women could do with their cunts. With a rippling contraction starting in her belly she pushed and a big glob of something was ejected onto my tongue. "Do you like it?" She asked.

"Your pussy or your cum filled pussy? And was that last thing cumsnot or pussysnot?"

"Pussy's get wet, but they don't drip like that on their own."

"Well, I love licking your pussy and I've never licked one that wasn't full. So I liked whatever it was."

"You are so nasty, Asher. I love it and I love... I love it."

Audrey started to shake, "Suck my clit now! I'm gonna cum!"

"Yea! But where is it?" With her hands on my ears she dragged my lips to her clit and held me in place as she humped my face in orgasmic bliss.

Lying naked in an open meadow our fingers traced lazy trails over each other's bodies.

By the time we left that idyllic place hours had passed and it was dinner time, "Does sex always make you hungry?"

She shrugged her tanned shoulders, "If you want to get something I'll go wherever you want."

We talked about jobs and school and parents and roommates and lastly about Graham who we were considering asking to screw Audrey while I watched.

"Do you think he'll have a bigger dick than me?"

"It doesn't matter."

"What if it does? What if my dick can never satisfy you again?"

"Asher, you're great, but like all men you're an idiot. Women don't care about size. I care about being with a man who knows where he's going. Besides, while I only had one other boyfriend, his penis was much bigger, and ugly, and it hurt when we fucked, always leaving me sore and bumping my cervix. Yours is perfect."

"What if he wants to keep fucking you?"

"What if you want to keep watching him fuck me? What if I don't want him to?"

"Yea, those are better questions. I don't know."

Seemingly, she went off on a tangent, "What if I can't find shiny red pumps? What if I pass gas? What if you DON'T think it looks cute?"

"Red pumps?"

"In the picture she wore red pumps. And a lacy red bra. I can do the sexy ponytail. Of course, I'll shower for you. What if it doesn't excite you and you don't get hard?"

"Wow there's a lot there. Red is good. It'll smell like roses. It'll be WAY cute. Ponytails are hot. I don't care if you shower. And the hardest part will be not coming too soon."

Audrey took my hands in hers, "Sooo? Next Friday night?"

"I can't believe it's really happening. We're both gonna get to live out our fantasy position. But I'm still wondering, can you get him to do it?"

"If I'm half as cute as you think I am he'll do anything. And while I definitely have my doubts about your judgement in women, he's been such a whipped punk that he would skip his mother's funeral to get at me."

We talked on the phone for hours every night until the big night. I arrived an hour early and we waited restlessly. When it was time to spring our plan Audrey grabbed the proverbial sugar cup and went to go get Graham.

Twenty agonizing minutes later they came back flirting. They burst through the door kissing and groping and unexpectedly I hated it. But, small price to pay and all.

Graham stopped dead in his tracks, "You've got a boyfriend!"

"Don't you mind him." She draped her arm over my shoulder while Graham awkwardly put out his hand to shake mine.

Meanwhile, Audrey deftly pulled my zipper down and speaking to me with stern authority said, "Don't say a word, Asher. You're not allowed to speak unless asked to." It seemed right to bow my head obediently.

The two embraced and kissed some more. I had totally wanted to see the fucking. My own personal porn show with me as a passive spectator. But I didn't like the affection at all. It was awful to be shut out of the emotions they shared without me.

The lovely girl I'd only been on three dates with kissed Graham's chest seductively with each button she undid. When he was down to his underwear she excused herself to change into something more comfortable.

"So?" He asked when we were alone, "How long have you two been an item?"

I couldn't speak. I was forbidden and I mimed that truth to the lumberjack of a man. I was sure the large lump in his boxers meant he was well hung.

When Audrey returned she wasn't just cute. Dressed in a red bra, thong, matching pumps, and a sporty ponytail she was the epitome of sexuality. Stunning by any measure. "You boys strip and come with me."

She pointed severely to the cold chair pushed up next to the plush bed. Naked, I sat as instructed, sneaking a peek at my rivals six inch soft dick. This is what I'd asked for. It both thrilled and scared me.

Tossing the red silk thong onto my head with a look that told me not to remove it she fell back onto the bed pulling Graham down on top of her.

He kissed her neck and chest, mauling her body in the process. No woman had ever looked hotter to me. In turn she ran her fingers through his hair, urging him to mount her properly with a guiding hand on his hip.

Something was off. Where there should have been passionate fucking there was excessive foreplay. At long last she reached between them, manipulating Graham's still soft penis until he managed an erection. I'd already been straining and throbbing for ten minutes.

I could see the worry on her face, "What's the matter Graham? Aren't I sexy enough?"

"Give me a minute. I can do it." He poked at her a few times not quite gaining access. A minute later and she was stuffing his cock into her pussy herself.

Then the fucking began in earnest. He plowed her channel diligently and from my position I could see every hot detail. I saw her skin ripple like one never can see in any movie. I could see her lips spread for his dick which turned out to be pretty average when hard. I knew that look of pleasure she bore when his cock slid along her pussy's walls.

He sure did have stamina. I never would have lasted as long were I in his place. Audrey turned her face to me and taking my hand in hers she continued looking deeply into my eyes, lying there under his thrusts.

I could barely take my eyes off her. She was so gorgeous. When I did look at Graham he had his eyes clenched tightly shut, concentrating so hard on his pleasure. Nothing in my mind's eye would ever have persuaded me not to soak in her beauty. The red shoes. Her hazel eyes. The sublime curves of her neck...

I held her hand dearly, "Are you going to cum?"

"Is that what you want?"

"You're in charge."

"This will do it." She brought my hand to her sex, rubbing my fingers on her clit. I found her nubbin easily with her help. The whole area was moist from their fucking. I swear my cock grew larger than it had ever been in my life.