The Bridge Club

I tried really hard to find new players - male players - for the bridge club.

There was one guy who worked with me, named Pete, who admitted that he used to play. I invited him out for a beer after work, in order to check him out a bit. It wouldn't do to invite a psycho, or a social reject.

Pete was a little shy, and a bit of a nerd (not that there's anything wrong with that). He seemed like a decent guy, who could hold up his end of a conversation. He was also willing to sit in for a game with us.

I called Beth, to let her know that I had found a player, but was still trying to find a second.

- "We're good to go, then." said Beth. "Christina has given us the green light to invite Emily to fill in. Your new guy makes eight."

- "Emily?" I asked. "Christina is ok with that?" I remembered that Emily made Beth nervous. "And how about you? Are you ok with it?"

- "I'll survive." she said. "Look, stupid: you have to sleep with Emily to catch up with Massimo. Christina knows that. It's part of your deal. Just keep your shirt on, and let Carmen make the approach."

Darren hosted the first game. It was the first time we had played in quite a while. Pete was introduced to everybody. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head; I had mentioned that most of the other players were female, but I hadn't told him how hot they were.

For my part, I was walking on eggshells. I was hyper-conscious of Christina, and didn't want to say or do anything to annoy her. And Emily was there. She was wearing jeans and a polo shirt, which did little to conceal her firm breasts and slim figure. She had long, flowing auburn hair. At first glance, Emily looked younger, because of her trim body and the way she dressed. Upon closer inspection, though, you could see that she was closer to forty than to thirty.

Emily had those little crow's feet at the corner of her eyes. They were even more apparent when she smiled. But she also had that look ... I'm not 100% sure how to describe it. Well-traveled? Her eyes suggested considerable experience. There was quite a bit of mileage on that slim, hot body.

I wondered if Christina had had a hand in setting up the new schedule. I found myself at the second table, partnered with Carmen, against Emily and Pete. Was this because Christina wanted me as far away from her as possible? Or was it to give Carmen and me a chance to get closer to Emily?

Pete didn't let me down. He knew all of the major conventions, and played well, considering that he had never met any of the others before. Emily talked a better game than she played, as far as I was concerned. Carmen was her usual self, and I played like shit. Trying to hook up with an older woman for a threesome, while the girl you are in love with is sitting across the room? Bizarre.

In the second game, Beth and Abigail came over to play against Pete and me. The girls were extra nice to Pete, putting him at ease. I was more relaxed, too.

After the cards, I followed Beth's advice and stayed away from Emily, leaving the field open for Carmen. Beth and Abigail were laughing with Pete. That left me with Darren and Christina.

- "Pete seems like a nice guy." she said.

- "Can he play?" asked Darren.

- "Better than Massimo. Or Emily." I said.

- "That's a pretty low standard." said Christina.

Darren shot me a sympathetic look.

On the plus side, Carmen left with Emily. That looked promising. I drove Pete home. He was in high spirits.

- "That was awesome, Norm. Best bridge club I've ever heard of!"

- "So if the others want to make you a regular, you'd be up for it?" I asked.

Pete just laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

*****************************

Beth called me two days later.

- "Can you come over tomorrow night? At 8:00?" she asked.

- "Jesus, Beth - you sound terrible. Is something wrong?"

- "We have a problem." she said.

- "A problem? What kind of problem? Is there something I can do?"

- "We'll talk about it tomorrow." said Beth. Then she hung up on me.

The day passed agonizingly slowly. I couldn't concentrate on my work. Pete, by contrast, was whistling when he came by to say hello, and to thank me again for inviting him to join the bridge club.

- "That's the fourth time, Pete." I told him. "I get the message."

I arrived at Beth's at 7:45. Ten minutes in the lobby of her building was all I could take. I knocked on her door. Beth opened it.

- "Are you OK? What's wrong?" I asked her immediately.

- "Calm down, Norm." she told me. "We have a problem. It's not an emergency."

- "It's not? Jesus, Beth, you scared me. You sounded terrible on the phone. Why all the mystery, then?"

- "Just come in." she said. "I'll let Carmen explain it."

Abigail and Carmen were both sitting at the kitchen table.

- "Here - sit down." said Beth. "Carmen, you tell him. From the beginning."

Carmen looked like she was going to cry. "I'm so sorry, Norm." she said. "I drove Emily home after bridge the other night. Everything was going so well. I flirted with her, and she was really responding. So I suggested the three-way: you, me and her."

- "But?"

- "But she said 'No'."

That was not the news I had been expecting. Maybe I had been counting my chickens prematurely. Now I was well and truly stuck. Massimo was ahead 4-3. There was no way to win the bet. Only if Christina would relent and sleep with me could I even tie it up.

- "Carmen!" shouted Beth. "Don't leave him hanging - tell him the rest."

- "Sorry - there's more, Norm." said Carmen. "I asked Emily why. I thought she had enjoyed the threesome with ... with Massimo. She said she had. So I asked her why she didn't want to do it again with me, and she said 'Been there, done that'. And then -"

- "Holy shit, Carm!" interrupted Beth. "You're the worst story-teller I've ever heard. Just get to the point! Look, Norm. It boils down to this: Emily isn't interested in Carmen anymore. She wants a new experience. She would be willing to do you and another girl - but it would have to be somebody else."

- "Oh." That was all I could get out. "That's the problem?"

- "It's not the end of the world." said Abigail, brightly. "We just have to find another girl."

We sat in silence for a moment.

Beth made a face. "Norm, I ..."

- "Don't, Beth. I wouldn't ask you to do it. I know that Emily gives you the creeps."

She nodded. "I'm not sure why. I'm pretty open-minded about most things, you know? But I just couldn't. I know I couldn't. Besides, I'm not sure that Christina would want us to have sex again."

- "And Abigail can't do it, either." said Carmen. "She has a boyfriend."

- "She does? That's great!" I said - and I meant it. "Good for you, Abigail. How long has this been going on?"

Abigail blushed. "Since Saturday night."

- "Saturday? This past Saturday?" Sometimes I can be remarkably slow on the uptake. "You mean Pete? You and Pete?"

- "I really like him." said Abigail. "He took me out last night, and we're going out again tomorrow."

- "Young love." sighed Carmen.

- "I wish I could help you, Norm." said Abigail. "With Emily. But I really like Pete. I don't want to cheat on him."

- "So that's the problem." said Beth. "We have to find you a girl that Emily will be interested in. She has to be willing to have a threesome. And we have to convince Christina to accept it, too."

- "Easy peasy." said Abigail

- "Wait a minute." I said. "What's with all of this '

we

' stuff?"

Beth had the answer for that. "It's '

we

', Norm, because the three of us were stupid enough to sleep with Massimo. That gave him a chance to win the bet. If we hadn't done that, he would never have told Christina about it - screwing up your chances with her. It's up to us to help you fix this. She's our friend, and you're our friend. So we are going to help you find a hot bisexual girl."

- "What else are friends for?' said Abigail.

*****************************

All three girls tried hard. They called up old girlfriends, college acquaintances, and even younger sisters of old girlfriends. Carmen spent a few hours on internet searches, looking for people she might know.

It was a serious matter, but I was frequently tempted to laugh out loud. How exactly does one steer the conversation around to asking: 'So ... are you now, or have you ever been bisexual?'

We had to cancel the next bridge night. Emily wasn't available. I offered to take my three headhunters out to dinner, as a reward for all their hard work. I sent them a text invitation.

Abigail answered first. "

Can I bring Pete

?"

-"

Forget dinner

." was Beth's reply. "

I have a better idea: let's go clubbing. Plenty of hot girls, out for a good time."

- "I know just the place." answered Carmen.

-

"Umm ... should we invite Christina?"

I asked.

Beth's answer was brief.

"Not her style."

Carmen's reply made me smile.

"to help u find a bi hottie who will f*** u & Emily? U stupid?"

I paid for the cab. Carmen had chosen Molly's, the latest uber-trendy place. With girls like those three on our arms, Pete and I had no trouble getting in. Inside, the decor was neo-industrial, with potted plants. The music was excruciatingly loud.

I had been considering how to give Pete some advice on how to handle Abigail, but decided not to. They looked pretty happy together. Besides, if the roles were reversed, I don't think I would have appreciated hearing from one of Christina's ex-boyfriends about her sexual preferences. I didn't even know if Pete was aware of my part in Abigail's sexual education.

The crowd was fairly young, and very energetic. It was definitely not my kind of place. Carmen blended right in, of course. She wore a tight dress that prominently displayed her most salient features. Beth looked incredible, as well. She found me a place by the bar, made sure I had a drink, and ordered me to stay.

Pete took Abigail out onto the dance floor. I was happy enough to stay put, watching those two beautiful women work the room on my behalf.

Carmen had to fight the guys off. Virtually every single male in the building hit on her at least once, and several tried twice. Beth also had to fend off a lot of attention. Odd, that: Beth was easily just as attractive as Carmen, if not more. Why did Carmen get three times as much attention?

I saw them make contact with women, and then chat for a while. More than once, they would turn and point me out, or wave in my direction. I felt like a complete dolt.

- "Needs must." said Edgar Allan Poe.

And he was right. Whether or not I still had a chance with Christina, there was nothing else for me to do but beat Massimo. If I had to lean against the bar like a slimy lounge lizard, sipping overpriced drinks while my friends hunted for me, then so be it.

Beth came back, eventually. I ordered her a drink. She tried to yell in my ear, but I couldn't hear a thing. She pointed at a group of women near the dance floor, and shouted in my ear again. I caught the words 'blue dress', but that was about it. She finally gave up, and dragged me upstairs.

There was a roof patio, where people could have a smoke, or simply hear themselves think.

- "Did you see the one in the blue dress?" asked Beth.

- "The brunette?"

- "Yeah." Beth passed me a business card. "Her phone number, if you want it. She's straight, but she said she'd go out with you."

I shook my head. "Thanks anyway. What's on the other piece of paper?"

- "Her friend. She wants to go out with

me

." said Beth.

- "Are you considering it? Or should we be looking for a guy for you?" I asked.

Beth gave me a smirk. "Trust me, Norm: I don't need help finding guys. If I was seriously looking, it wouldn't be here."

- "Christina wouldn't be here either, would she?"

- "She likes to dance, but she has no use for the type of guys who hang out in places like this."

- "How is she, Beth?" I asked.

- "Honestly? I don't really know. She's not talking to us like she used to. I hope it's just a temporary thing. She has a temper - well, you've seen it. But she cools off, eventually. I hope."

Pete and Abigail found us on the roof, and let us know that they were going to call it a night. We said our goodbyes, and headed back downstairs to find Carmen.

She found us instead. She yelled in Beth's ear, and then dragged us to a booth near the corner. Carmen introduced us to three girls - I say girls, because they seemed pretty young. I couldn't hear a word, so I just stood there grinning like an idiot. Apparently Beth already knew them. A few minutes later, she dragged me out onto the dance floor.

It took three tries for her to understand my shouted "Who were they?", and three more before I could hear her reply: "Tell you later!"

We worked up a bit of a sweat, then I steered her back towards the bar. It was quite a while before Carmen came back to join us. She and Beth pressed their heads together and tried to talk. Carmen grinned, a little sheepishly, then surprised me by leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek.

Beth dragged me outside. We hailed a taxi.

- "You're not that bad a dancer." she said. "I was expecting much worse."

- "Thank you."

- "Don't quit your day job, though." she added.

- "What was that all about, back there? You knew those girls?"

- "Yeah. They work with us. Carmen wanted to stay a little longer and party with them."

- "Oh." I said. "If you want to, you could stay, too. I can get home by myself."

- "Not my type, Norm. They're ... airheads, you know? They giggle, and they're shallow ... fifteen minutes with them and I'd want to kill something."

- "They work with you? So Massimo has probably banged all three?" I said.

Beth laughed aloud. "Not those three. They're gay.

Very

gay."

- "You're kidding me."

She laughed again. "No - seriously. They turned him down flat. It was pretty funny."

- "Wait a minute. Did you say Carmen was going to 'party' with them?"

- "Yes. I teased her about it. Did you see her blush?"

- "Wait - wait." Now I was really curious. "Is Carmen bi? I mean ... she did swing with Emily."

- "Carmen likes men, Norm. She likes men

a lot

. But she has a healthy appetite for sex, and sometimes she likes to experiment. She doesn't cruise around, looking for lesbians.

They

find her. That girl attracts men AND women like nobody's business."

- "Wow."

Beth laughed again. "Trying to conjure up a mental image?"

- "Trying and succeeding." I admitted. "Wow."

*****************************

I kept trying to find another guy who played cards, but without success.

Beth called to let me know that the bridge club would meet that Saturday.

- "Emily will be there again." she told me. "But Christina won't; she has to drive her sister somewhere. It's OK, though. We found a new substitute."

Carmen hosted. I was overly self-conscious from the very beginning: far too aware that Christina wasn't there, and far too aware of Emily, who was appraising me like some item at an auction. Carmen had found a new player, a tiny Eurasian girl she introduced as Marina. There was something vaguely familiar about her.

- "Have we met before?" I asked.

Marina giggled, holding one hand over her mouth. Carmen glowered at me.

- "The club." she hissed. "Molly's."

Then it struck me. Marina was one of the three young girls from their office. Without the heavy makeup, she looked even younger. This was one of the girls that Carmen had stayed to 'party' with. I took a closer look.

Marina was tiny - barely five feet tall, if that. I would have put her weight at 90 pounds. Despite her diminutive frame, she did have curves: apple-sized tits, a wasp waist and gently swelling hips. She had blue-black hair, with long bangs that covered her entire forehead, including her eyebrows. The contrast between this little pixie and Carmen's busty linebacker build was intriguing - and more than a little arousing.

I managed to corner Beth, and whispered in her ear. "Are they ...?"

- "Maybe." she said. "It depends. Now pay attention to Emily. You're supposed to be flirting."

It depends? What the hell did that mean? But I followed orders. It wasn't that hard to do, to be honest. Emily looked good. And if the smoky looks she was casting in my direction were any indication, we only needed a female partner to seal the deal.

For the first game, I drew Beth as a partner, against Carmen and Marina.

- "How long have you played bridge?" I asked my new opponent.

She giggled. "Oh - not very long. But I really like it." She had an accent; it wasn't very heavy, but definitely noticeable.

- "Where were you born?" I asked.

- "Singapore." she said.

- "Marina's mother is Chinese, and her father was Dutch." added Carmen.

- "What a lovely mixture." I said, raising my glass.

Marina was cute, and seemed fairly bright, despite the giggles. But a bridge player she was not. She took an ungodly amount of time to pass, and counted points with her fingertips.

I glanced at Beth, with a look of horror on my face. Beth slowly raised her index finger to her lips.

It was excruciating. A good card game goes smoothly, at a crisp pace. This was more like a three-legged race with a pair of drunken sailors, who have to stop frequently to pee. Nonetheless, I tried to be encouraging, patient, and non-judgmental. The last thing I wanted was to screw up Carmen's new relationship, if that's what it was.

So I suffered in silence, stealing a look at Emily now and then. Finally, mercifully, Beth and I got the cards to win the rubber and put us out of our misery.

During the interlude, Carmen took her new friend to get a drink. I looked at Beth accusingly.

- "What?" she said.

- "Tell me that this isn't her first time ever playing bridge." I demanded.

- "She read a couple of books on bridge, and Carmen coached her." said Beth. "Now shut up, and be nice." As she stood up, Beth pinched my ear - hard. "

Be nice

." she repeated.

Abigail and Pete moved over to join me. And then Marina returned.

- "Oh! It looks like you and I are partners." she said. Then she giggled.

There was nothing to do but grin and bear it. I dared not risk the wrath of Beth. Abigail must have known in advance: when Pete realized just how bad a player Marina was, he looked at me with a duplicate of my earlier horrified expression. Abigail kicked him under the table. Twice. We played nice.

I survived until the second break. We snacked on some pretty decent sushi. Emily flirted with me a bit, but she was definitely interested in Marina, too.

- "You owe me for this one." I told Beth, privately.

- "No, we don't." she answered. "Just shut up and be nice."

Yes, I was at the same table with Marina again. This time Darren got to share the fun. He evidently was in on it, too, because he showed very little reaction to Marina's play (except to grit his teeth a few times). Surprisingly, Carmen was our fourth. Somehow, the tables had been set so that Emily was the only person who didn't get to experience our newest player.

It was agonizing. I endured it only by vowing to resume my search for another player. To make my suffering complete, Carmen and Darren colluded to let Marina and me win.

After the cards, Abigail and Pete stuck around for one quick drink, and then left. Marina was enthusiastic about her first bridge game. I will admit, now that the ordeal was over, that it was entertaining to watch her high spirits. There was a certain freshness there, an innocence, I guess, that was very appealing. I will also admit that I briefly wondered what she would be like between the sheets, if she weren't playing for the other team.

Emily stuck around for a while, apparently also interested in our newest player. That gave me a chance to catch up with Darren. I was preparing to call it an early evening, but Beth grabbed my arm.