"How long have you been trying to beat Gleeok? I've seen you die like twenty times. And why don't you use the Zelda rom with the cheats?" I said to Heather.
"What is the point of playing an almost forty year old game with cheats you fucking loser?" Heather said without moving her eyes off the screen - though I knew this scolding was a friendly term of endearment between us.
"I don't know, don't you want to fight Ganon faster, and win? You haven't even gotten the red ring, no wonder you are dying every three minutes," I argued.
"You are the most petulant and impatient gamer I have ever met. How can you even enjoy Metroid over there with no fear of dying with all your cheat codes?" Heather accused.
"Iunno," I emoted, and shrugged my shoulders.
"Do you think we will still play Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog when we are in our eighties?" Heather asked wistfully.
"I don't know, that's over thirty years from now. I don't even know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight," I responded, batting away her way-too-serious-of-a-question.
We are both divorced, and both come from divorced homes. We are the poster-children of the late 80s, early 90s latchkey kid gang - vintage variety, and getting older by the minute. Our friendship is strongly defined by our mutual affinity for vintage video games - particularly NES, or Nintendo Entertainment System if one isn't into the whole brevity thing. What's crazy though, is that we have only known each other for a year since we met at the local retro-arcade.
Not long after we met, we actually both had the balls to have an honest conversation about the nature of our relatinship, and we both agreed that in order to preserve the magical connection, we would not entertain the idea of dating each other.
We share an apartment building and we both work in IT - big surprise. My apartment is on the ground floor and hers directly above mine. We have both heard each other having sex through the shitty, un-soundproofed ceilings and floors, and we have both lovingly mocked each other with the sounds we have heard.
Our makeshift man/she-man cave in my spare room pays homage to our Gen X roots. Her apartment only has one bedroom, but the ground floor units, like mine, all have an extra office space. We have two TVs side by side, bean bags, a candy shelf, a beer fridge (with Coke), and two PCs loaded with vintage DOS games and emulators for NES, Sega and Super NES.
"Are we still doing the Rampage 'challenge' tonight?" I asked.
"No, that Tinder prospect got back to me, we are going out to dinner again," Heather reported just as her Link character died once again.
"Are you kidding me? I got extra Twizzlers, honey roasted peanuts, and a six pack of Jolt!" I exclaimed.
"It's gonna have to wait, pal. This is the same guy as last week, Charles, whom you met. You liked him. And I liked him, too," Heather replied.
"You mean Charlie the Choo Choo? He snores so fuckin loud," I joked.
"Dude, shut the fuck up!" Heather said, laughing.
I drew in a long, band-saw sounding snore to mock.
Heather cocked her leg like a spring and kicked me right on the thigh causing a horrible muscle spasm.
"AHHHHHHH FUCK!" I screamed in pain. "You fucking got me! I'm sorry! Uncle Uncle Uncle!" I cried.
"By the way, asshole, he told me he heard you trying to sing "Tiny Dancer" in the shower all the way through the floor, and said you sounded like a seal being flogged when you got to the falsetto parts," Heather said.
"Tell Charlie the Choo Choo to stop putting his ear against the floor and to get a life," I retorted.
Heather saved her progress on the emulator and turned off the TV. "I have got to go get ready, he is picking me up soon," Heather said.
"Just go dressed like that," I said, without taking my eyes off of the Metroid boss character I was currently fighting.
"I'm not wearing a bra and I have sweatpants on you idiot. I'll see you tomorrow," she said with a laugh.
I hit pause. When she said she wasn't wearing a bra, I couldn't help myself. I stole a quick glance, and sure enough, you could see the natural hang of her tits and the slightest outline of puckered nipples facing up at the tiniest angle. I try to not look at her like that, but she has this curvy body that isn't big, but when she wears her relaxed fitting clothes to hang out with me, she jiggles in this nerdy, unaware way.
A few weeks ago, she was wearing a loosely fitted sweatshirt. As she was facing away from me, I had the vantage point of lying back on the floor and looking up at her. When she got up her shirt sagged down, and I saw her bare, perfect c-cup, bra-less tits hanging down.
"Ok. Can you lock the front door on your way out?" I asked, and resumed fighting Ridley, cheats and all.
"Why? Hot date with Rosy Palmer?" she mocked.
"Fuck off!" I said with a grin and threw one of the pillows lying around and hit her square in the face.
She laughed and threw the pillow back and strode off. I heard her lock the door.
Of course I'll have a go after seeing those jiggly natural tits. Might not even have to watch any porn.
I turned back to my screen, unpaused and continued Metroid. It is just not as fun without Heather. I enjoy our banter incredibly. We literally complete each other's jokes and insults. It does feel like things get slightly awkward when she is lying on her stomach and I see the shape of her body. Yes, we have been platonic friends with everything we have shared, but that doesn't erase the fact that she is hot. Fuck.
I was sure that I would feel better after a wank. I always think more clearly, and my mind spends less time drifting into the what-ifs. But of course, I knew, from the thin flooring, that Heather was taking a shower right now. She is probably shaving her legs with hot water splashing on her back. Does she have a bush? Is she clean shaven? She just doesn't seem like the pussy shaving type to me. Not that it matters - I would want to see it regardless.
I re-paused Metroid and alt tabbed to an incognito browser. Flipped through some of my favorite genres of porn and settled on a home-made video of a woman masturbating who kind of looked like Heather. I prefer these types of videos because the women look real. I can't connect my brain with someone who looks like they spend nine hours in the gym per day and has a frequent flyer card for a plastic surgery med-spa. I need someone who looks like the hot chick at the coffee shop.
This particular video will do the job. The angle of her camera and video quality isn't great, but that tells me that she set it up haphazardly to get to the dirty business as soon as possible. She is sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest and panties pulled down (up) to her knees revealing a trimmed cunt. Apparently she had inserted a butt plug off camera before the video started. The magenta-jeweled anal toy quivered as she masturbated her wet clit with two of her fingers.
She was breathing hard, but not in a contrived way, and her tits were smashed and bulging from the sides of her knees. It was just the right realism.
I slid my gray sweatpants and red boxer briefs down as I lifted my ass up from my bean bag. I enjoyed the sight of my semi hard dick. Other guys don't really emphasize the sight of their own dick, but I sure do appreciate mine. I felt the blood filling out every corner of my cock and I stiffened to the point that I was sticking straight up as I lounged backwards. The angle of my tv screen was perfect such that my wagging cock was super imposed on the naked woman wanking herself on my tv.
I reached over to grab my Astroglide, thick gel recipe of course. Just days ago Heather made fun of the fact that it was on the shelf next to tissues. Of course, I got hard at the slight humiliation, and she probably saw the redness appear on my cheeks. But I don't care what she thinks in that regard. In fact, I am happy to endure her poking because frankly, it's sexy and it's a turn on.
I empty a few gobs onto the tip of my cock. This thicker gel one actually goes a long way, and this won't take very long. I hadn't jerked off in probably seven days, and when I wait that long, it might take me twenty pumps and I'll explode all over my hands, especially with good porn playing in the background.
