"What interests you in working in a call centre?"
I look up into my interviewer's dark brown eyes. You would think securing a job in all centre would be as easy as ordering a cheeseburger but this whole interview has been a disgrace because my interviewer is hot. Every time he asks me a question behind his heavy oak desk, I probably sound like an idiot because I keep getting distracted.
"Tell me your strengths," he says and I have to tear my eyes away from how his rolled up shirt sleeves hug some pretty defined forearms.
"How do you handle conflict?" He asks and I barely hear him because his lower lip is slightly fuller than his top lip, and my head is exploding.
"What are some of your accomplishments," he questions after glancing down at my resume and I can't think of a single one because his fingers look pretty damn long. And strong. This observation makes me cross my legs to help relieve a bit of an ache that's starting to develop.
Much like the other questions, there is a pause. I pull myself together: "What interests me in working in a call centre? Well... Providing great customer service is very important to me. It makes my day knowing I can help someone else. It's a way of life," I answer with a straight face.
His lips don't twitch in amusement. He doesn't look impressed either - probably because I seem to need a ten second pause before every question as if I'm either slow, drunk, or learning English for the first time.
My parents would roll over in their graves if they knew I, their twenty-four year old baby girl, was interviewing for a call centre. Don't get me wrong, they were nice people but they had high hopes for me.
I'd always been a clever girl. "You're so smart," my parents would croon lovingly when I was a child. They fully believed their bright little girl would be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer... My poor parents.
While I did catch onto things quickly - new tasks, instructions, theories, and formulas always came easy to me - there's a downside to being abnormally bright: you get bored. I just can't stick to one thing for very long without losing interest and moving on. I could barely get through a university course without dropping out halfway through for something new and more exciting.
Which brings me to the call centre and this very hot, potential employer. I'm sure my impressive list of career choices, (including administrative assistant, camp coordinator, retail, security, sales clerk, etc. (o name a few), is blowing his mind as much as I'd like him to blow me.
Not.
He looks bored and a bit superior. He probably has a college degree and a 401k. He's probably chock full of ambitions and at night, he probably has triumphant missionary sex with Virginia, his legal assistant girlfriend, before falling asleep and dreaming of making millions. Sure he's manager of a call centre now but one day, he'll be president.
Suddenly, I really want this job. His disdain for me and what my weak-willed resume represents for him turns me on. There's nothing I love more than a challenge, and this man (I can't even remember his name because my eyes quickly flicked over his wide chest when he introduced himself) on his high-horse is making me want this job badly.
"Listen," I say honestly, "I know my resume speaks of my tendency to jump shift often. But this is a good thing for you and your organization. I can learn anything and I can learn fast. And I'm going to bring a variety of skills to this job and make you wish you had ten more of me."
His eyes pass over my resume once more. "Alright Allie," he says with disinterest , "you're hired."
_
As much as I hated Sean - turns out that's what my boss' name is - I couldn't help but treat my shifts at the call centre like I was a groupie going to see my favourite band. I'd wear tiny skirts, thigh highs, inappropriately high heels, and tight little shirts. I'm sure the staff at the call centre, mostly little old ladies, just loved having me around.
I'd always show up ten minutes before my shift and stop in Sean's doorway before heading to my cubicle.
He would usually glance at me, exchange bored pleasantries to my insipid chatter, and then go back to his work.
"Hi Sean," I might say, twirling a lock of long brown hair around my finger, "have a nice weekend?"
"Yes, fine."
"Me too!" I'd chirp back before flouncing off with an extra bounce to my step so my little skirt might flip up and give him a tease (don't worry, I always wear panties. I am a lady after all).
Sometimes I would sink so low as to spend a few minutes in the washroom before my lunch to play with my nipples. Then I would hurry over to his office and say,
"Sean, it's freezing in here. Can we please get the heat on?"
I would then stand ramrod straight and wait for him to look up and see my erect nipples through my tight, cotton shirt. But his gaze never lingered. Instead, he'd make some noncommittal comment and look away.
I know what you're thinking. Could I be more obvious? I might be smart but I never said I was subtle.
_
It is after my first three weeks on the job that Sean interrupts me in the middle of my shift to come into his office. By then, I had grown tired of his curt dismissals and had recently stopped greeting him on my way in and out of the building. So I am more than surprised that he called me in. I have never been fired from a job before and while the call centre is already growing stale, I hadn't planned on leaving quite yet.
Sean takes a seat behind his desk. "Do you know why I called you in here today?"
What is this, the principal's office? "No," I answer, biting my tongue before adding something embarrassing like 'sir'.
"It's about your performance," Sean informs me.
This causes me to sit up straighter and cross my legs with indignation. Sean's brown eyes glance down briefly at my slim legs and it's all I need to fuel my confidence. "I can't imagine what you're going to say," I tell him, "I'm always ten minutes early, I have a good attitude, I read the damn script to our stupid customers and I don't fall asleep at my desk like some coworkers. What could you possibly have to say?"
Sean clears my throat and pauses, probably trying to make me ashamed of my outburst. Well tough. He's been rude to me for weeks and I've never been one to back down from conflict.