All characters are 18 years of age.
I grew up in a mid-west state with 2 older brothers and an older sister. Our family was religiously conservative and fairly draconian about it. Sex was not discussed but it was clear it was something that we were not even supposed to think about, much less engage in before marriage. "Playing with yourself," my parents' euphemism for masturbation, was forbidden. Nevertheless, by the time I was eighteen, I knew enough to know the general mechanics of fucking, the thrusting motion of the male in an out of the girl's vagina. All of what I learned came from novels that I read that had an occasional sex scene and from some less constrained peers at school.
I would lie awake at night and think about 3 different girls at our church, one my age and so very beautiful in my eyes. The other two were older, very pretty, but I always thought I would like to fuck them, at least in my limited understanding of what that meant. When I would lie awake at night and think about those girls, I began to get erections. Given my upbringing though, I did not think to stroke myself with my hand, because I was not really even sure what playing with myself meant. My understanding of orgasm and ejaculation, or cumming, as my acquaintances at school called it, was also lacking. With the erections I had from trying to imagine fucking, I would lie in my bed and sometimes, the need to go pee would get me out of my bed. In the bathroom, I would sit on the toilet and bend forward so that I would not pee on the floor. My urine most often was clear, or white in my eyes, and I at the time thought that I was cumming and that was what semen looked like. Did not seem very exciting and I was not sure what the fuss was about.
One evening after church on Wednesday night at the beginning of summer break, one of the older girls had talked to me and though I was shy, I was delighted to be close to her and get to look at her somewhat unabashed. She smelled so very good and I got a woody just being close to her. At home, I went to my room, which was in our basement and as such, quite private. Being a bit of a nerd, it was not uncommon for me to go to my room early and read. That night however, I took off my pants and sporting an erection again from dwelling on my interaction earlier that night, I started humping my bed, imagining I was fucking that beautiful older girl. To my surprise, the action felt incredible and I just kept going at it. Then, that feeling became super intense and suddenly I was spurting something from my penis I had never seen before. The liquid was thick white and I knew instinctively that I had just had my first orgasm and was looking at cum for real. It was fantastic....till I realized I had made a mess on my sheets and was then terrified my mother would see it and I would be found out, punished and shamed in front of the entire family. I frantically wiped up my semen with a tissue and made my way to the bathroom where I flushed it down the toilet. It was the last time I "fucked" my sheets.
Fortunately, next day was wash day and in the morning, I stripped my bed sheets and took them to the laundry room, hoping my mother did not open them up and find the evidence that I had been "playing with myself." Fearful as I was of discovery, the newfound pleasure of orgasm was not something I could do without and I experimented with ways to achieve that spectacular sensation again. My first attempts were to take a washcloth to my bedroom and fuck the washcloth, then cover it with a tissue as I felt the imminent ejaculation coming on. That was very good but I was still afraid just because I had the washcloth in my room and I just knew if my mother saw it, she would know exactly what I had been doing. I soon had a lesson from an unexpected source at church on how to masturbate, although not how to hide the evidence.
The girl that was my age (18) that I thought was so pretty was very forward and she apparently talked about sex at church amongst our peers. Since I did not hang out with her, I did not know this till one Sunday morning, when I was talking with a friend, she came around with a bag of M& Ms and offered us some. I took a few and she exclaimed when she saw a green one in my hand that the green ones made her horny. Then she walked away. I asked my friend what that meant and he said it meant that she wanted to have sex. He said he did not think she had been having sex but one of her friends had told him she liked to rub herself and cum. Touching yourself for sexual pleasure was a revelation to me and I also learned a new work, cum. I was a smart kid with respect to school but was a real dunce in matters of the world.
That afternoon, I decided to try touching myself to have an orgasm. We had to go to a picnic after church so it was late afternoon when we got home. I gathered my stuff and went to the bathroom to shower, planning to do it in the bathroom. My dick was erect even before I went in. As always, I was afraid of getting caught somehow and decided to start the shower so no one would think twice about opening the door. I was sitting on the toilet beginning to rub myself when of course, my mother opened the door. The feeling of despair in my stomach was immediate an I waited for the tongue lashing but she immediately put her hands over her eyes, said "I am sorry" and shut the door. Needless to say, my erection was quickly gone and I got in the shower, dreading to come out.
To my surprise, my mother was perfectly normal when I came out of the bathroom. I really think I got lucky and she did not see what I was doing because I am certain she would have told my dad who would have punished me. Or maybe, she knew exactly what I was doing and was okay with it. I will never know.
Bedtime that night seemed an eternity away. When I finally got into bed that night, I made sure I had my box of tissues next to me. I was so excited I was erect before even entering my room. I had a light at the bedside and positioned pillows behind me to prop up my back. My right hand began to explore my shaft and soon, by nature and instinct, I was stroking my erection like every other man on earth.
That day, I was imagining fucking my church classmate, the blond haired, blue eyed beauty who had inadvertently taught me about touching yourself and claimed green M&Ms made her horny. I was soon to learn something new about male orgasm and ejaculation. When humping my bedsheets or my washcloth, I always came with my dick pressed against the cloth. This time, as the delicious feeling of my orgasm began, I was looking down at the tip of my penis and for the first time, actually saw it come out. But I was shocked to see it rocketed out! The five or six spurts of semen landed all over my chest, reaching as high as my nipples and only at the end did some dribble out. For the first time as well, I noticed what my spunk smelled like. I liked it. It was a bit of a chore to clean myself up with tissues, but I was ecstatic with the whole experience. I decided to flush them down the toilet and a system was born.
When I could, "playing with myself" became a regular event that summer. If circumstances kept me from doing so, I found myself having sexual dreams and discovered nocturnal emissions. Once again, I was afraid this was something my mother would see in my underwear and I would get in trouble, but I never did. So it was that I spent my remaining months at home before college, masturbating whenever I could, thinking about all the cute girls in my school and at church, as well as a few other older women. I never had the courage to talk with a girl, much less anything else. I read voraciously and every week came home with a half dozen books from the library. I always tried to find one or two books that would have sex in them but that were on subjects that would not raise suspicion. Such was my life.
Because of our religious beliefs, it was a forgone conclusion that I would go to one of our religious colleges. I wanted to be a doctor and picked one that had good success with med school matriculation and also, beneficially was 4 hours from home. I was accepted readily with a scholarship. All students had to sign a code of conduct form to gain entrance and I duly signed. Regardless of the prohibitions on sex, public displays of affection, segregated student dorms and housing, I was still looking forward to finding some way of interacting with the girls there. Given my well-deserved nerd status, it would be an uphill battle. My social skills were inversely proportional to my academic skills. I was not bad looking though I still had some acne. What I did have though, was likely a greater than average sex drive, a direct result of my rather restrictive upbringing (the downside of college was being able to find ways to masturbate enough to keep from having wet dreams every night with the consequent stained underwear).
My freshman year, I joined a service club (our school did not have "social clubs"). There were 4 women and 3 guys in this club. Everyone was very nice and I got along well with them and in this regard, it was a social club. I managed to come out of my social shell somewhat as all of the girls were easy to talk to and one, named Cindy was at least fairly attractive in my eyes. Although I was fairly naïve, I did get the sense she liked me. I did not ever do anything with her or the others outside the confines of our club activities, such as visit nursing homes and making gift baskets after campaigning for money on campus and at church.
