The Confessions Of A Philanderer
I make no excuses or apologies for what I am. I'm a philanderer, short and simple. I know, because I once looked it up in a dictionary, and was informed, 'Philanderer, a man who seeks out casual sexual liaisons with women.' When I read that, I thought, 'Yeah! That's me OK. That's exactly what I do,' and forgive me if I sound big headed, but I'm damned good at it too. I've always liked women, and fortunately they seem to like me too. Not that I'm wonderfully good looking or anything. I'm just your average type man, 6'2" tall, with a decent physique, dark hair, brown eyes, and reasonably intelligent.
Don't get me wrong. I've been down the commitment road, married in my mid-twenties and divorced three years later when we discovered she loved the bottle more than she loved me. I can categorically promise that in all the time we were together, I was never unfaithful, not even once. Yes, I looked at other women, but that's all it was, looking, nothing more, and that's no crime.
So, to my current lifestyle, where I'm sure a whole posse of psychiatrists, or psychologists, whatever the difference is, would love to get their hands on me to see what makes me tick. It's quite simple really; I don't give a fuck what they think, my lifestyle suits me and that's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. I'm having fun, enjoying my life, and I don't pretend to be anything other than what I am. I deceive nobody.
Now, you'd think if women knew all about me, they'd run a mile, but no, it seems they like the danger, or the challenge of changing a, 'bad boy,' and that makes me almost irresistible as far as some of them are concerned. I've long since given up the futile idea of trying to figure women out. I'll leave that to the aforementioned psychologists and psychiatrists and wish them good luck in the process.
Of course, the fact that I've written a book on the subject helps to draw women in and line them up for me, and being a writer gives me the time and opportunity to indulge myself. Nothing compares to the author's book signing tour for meeting willing new conquests. My publisher, in conjunction with the bookstores, arrange for me to visit different cities and towns to promote my books, where I meet and greet my readers, and sign copies of my books.
Surprisingly, most of my fans are women, and it's a rare book signing appearance where I'm not passed four or five telephone numbers from my, 'fans.' Depending on the duration of my stay, I sometimes manage to meet and seduce at least one, if not more of my admirers. Let's face it, what man in his right mind would turn down the opportunity of making love to attractive, intelligent women if presented in such a generous and selfless way?
Not all of the women who pass me telephone numbers are eager fans though. Sometimes the occasional journalist, or features writer for a magazine will talk to me, hoping for an interview, but I always ask when given phone numbers if they are a journalist looking for an interview or if they're just being, 'friendly.'
I rarely turn down requests for interviews, working on the old premise that there's no such thing as bad publicity. I've met a few who've obviously set out with the intent of doing an, 'assassination,' feature on me, but I'm happy to say I usually manage to win them over. One woman did a particularly vitriolic piece on me, so I sent flowers to thank her for the huge increase in my success rate with women in the weeks that followed her article.
More often I manage by a combination of openness, and humour to get them onside. Take last week for instance; I had a pre-arranged interview with a highly respected features writer from one of the main women's magazines. She's been on TV a number of times, usually on late night book review type programs, and literary features, so she's not an idiot, highly articulate, and forthright in her views, with strongly held feminist beliefs.
An extremely intelligent woman, but also very, very attractive, with shoulder length ash blonde hair, slim, but womanly figure, with great legs, shown off by her short, but very stylish skirt. Her face was heart shaped, with beautiful skin, a small straight nose with just a hint of freckles, and a full, generous mouth. Her bright, clear, eyes radiated intelligence and I knew it would be tough as she went straight for the jugular.
'It's been said on a number of occasions that you are quite immoral. How do you answer those criticisms?' she started.
'I presume we're talking about me, rather than my books?' I began. 'I suppose it depends on what you see as immoral. You see I don't subscribe to the old-fashioned idea of morals. Those emerged from a different time and place when religion had a bigger part to play in the daily lives of men and women.
As I see it, they were mostly invented through fear; fear by men of their women being seduced by other men, and fear by women of being abandoned by their partners. Men worried that they might not, "measure up," if their women had experience of other men, and women worried about being left for a younger model when they grew older, or whatever. Those ideas of morality simply don't hold water these days; it's a whole new world out there, and most people realise you don't have to be religious to be moral.'
'Don't you feel that in these days of ever more virulent sexually transmitted diseases that it's irresponsible of you to promote the sort of lifestyle that you seem to enjoy?' she continued.
'No. For a start, I don't promote it, it's you, the magazines and newspapers that report it, that 'promote,' it, and we all have something called free will. I always, and I repeat, always, practice safe sex. I would no more think of indulging in sexual relations with a woman without using a condom than stick my head under a moving bus wheel.' She smiled at that image.
'Have you no thought or care for the women you use for your own pleasures? After all, women are people with feelings too. What do you think of them, are women just objects to be used for your own gratification?'
'Don't insult me please. If I felt like that about women, I'd be just as well masturbating. I care for them all, I like them all. It may surprise you to know that I like women as people, not just as sexual partners. I'm not a, 'wham bang, thank you ma'am,' lover. I'm caring and considerate. I don't
use
women, I give as much as I take, and I'd like to think I don't disappoint any of them. I hope that doesn't sound as if I'm bragging, it's not intended to be like that,' I added.
'No, indeed, I take your point, but when it comes right down to it, you
are
