The work week was finally over β Friday and time for cutting up with some friends at our local bar, as was our custom on most Friday nights. I was sitting on the sofa when a knock came on the door. It was my friend Bob who lived next door with his wife. Bob worked at the same place I did.
I opened the door and said "Come on in. Want a beer?"
"Sure."
So I took a couple of cold ones from the fridge.
"Will I see you and Emma later?" I asked.
"Yeah, and that's what I came to talk to you about," said Bob. "The women have launched a conspiracy and it involves you directly."
"How's that?"
"I'll take a lot of shit from my wife if she ever finds out I told you, but the women have arranged it so that you are left alone with Lynne tonight."
Lynne was one of the secretaries from my office, and although good looking, she was a little too conservative for my taste and never really let loose. However, it had also become apparent that she had been trying to get a date with me for several months.
"Then I guess I'll find a reason to leave early or not go at all," I said.
"That's not a good idea β Emma will figure out I told you and then my nuts will be in the wringer!"
"OK, I'll hang around, but she'll be disappointed. I just don't have that much interest in her, she's too reserved for me. I mean she's OK socially and can be fun when we're doing things as a group, but you know the kind of women I date. They're more into partying and not afraid of sex."
"Oh get off it! You know she's not a virgin and that whenever you're around she gets so wet she needs to sit on a bucket."
"That may be, but I can't imagine sex with her as anything but boring - strictly the missionary position. Besides, sheβs way too interested in finding a husband."
"I think you're going about it all wrong. Call her bluff. Maybe she just needs someone to show her some new tricks."
"I don't know if I have that kind of patience."
"Listen, just stay cool and let her come to you. You can always let her know you're not interested in one way or another. But at least this way, I stay out of trouble and you can bring it to an end tonight and not have to deal with it again."
"You're right. But tell me how the women have conspired to arrange it."
"My wife had to tell me because we're going to make up some bullshit story about promising to meet some relatives who came in to visit for the weekend. Jane will develop a headache so she and her husband will have to leave. Joan will call later to say that Mike's flight is delayed and she doesn't want to go out alone. The others just won't show."
"Got it."
"Thanks for the beer, I'd better get home before my wife suspects something."
After Bob left, I began thinking about what he had said and I began to form a plot of my own. If Lynne wanted to get me alone, I would make it a challenge and make certain that it was on my terms. Once I got some ideas and figured out what I would say, I went out to pick up a few items that would be needed if she agreed. If it failed, then the twenty bucks would be worth preventing further complications.
I arrived at the bar around 8 o'clock. Bob and Emma had already arrived, but no one else from the usual crowd.
"Hi George! How are you?" said Emma with a little too much enthusiasm.
"I'm good, but I need a drink. Who else is coming tonight?"
"Just Jane and Bill ...and Lynne.," said Emma. " Joan called and said Mike was late so they're not coming. I don't know what anyone else is doing."
So I ordered a beer and grabbed a barstool. Soon Jane and Bill arrived and Emma took Jane aside. I didn't hear what they said, but they kept glancing in my direction.
Bob sat down next to me and asked, "So what did you decide?"
"I think its best if I kept that my secret, although you could hear some strange talk about me on Monday, depending on how my plan goes."
"Good. I don't like the girls thinking they can put one over on the guys."
Just then Lynne walked in. I was relieved to see she was in a skirt and blouse as these would fit nicely into my plan. She immediately headed to Jane and Emma. Again, they talked in hushed tones so it was hard to hear, but I did manage to hear Jane say, "It's all arranged." I noticed Lynne start to smile.
I leaned over and loudly asked if I could get Lynne a drink. All the women got smug expressions on their faces and Lynne gave me an enthusiastic yes. So I ordered her a Seabreeze (the same thing she always drank). When the drink arrived she walked over, took it and went back to talking with the women. After about ten minutes they came over and joined the guys.
Lynne came up to me and asked, "Would you get me another drink please?"
I was very surprised as she usually nursed about two drinks over the entire evening.
"Sure, no problem."
Lynne took the drink and remained standing next to me.
Just then, Emma said to Bob, "Don't you think it's time for us to go to your dad's house?"
"Leaving so soon?" I said.
"Yeah," said Bob, "some nitwit relatives of mine are down from New York and my mom insisted that we stop by to visit. What a waste of a perfectly good night. I'd much rather be here where there should be some excitement."
Bam! Emma whacked Bob on the arm. "It won't be that bad and I like your aunt. Good night everyone!" As Bob and Emma headed towards the door, I could here Emma saying something to Bob about "ruining everything."
For the next fifteen minutes, those of us remaining started talking about the weekend and what each of us were planning. When I asked Lynne if she had any plans, she said no, but was hoping something would come up, otherwise just doing laundry, cleaning her apartment and "reading one of her stupid romance novels.". She then turned and took a long swig of her drink.
Jane then took Bill aside, after which Bill anounced, "Jane's getting a headache, she didn't sleep well last night, so I guess we're headed home."
"Too bad." I said, "Looks like no sex for you tonight." Lynne blushed, while the rest of us enjoyed the time-honored joke. "See you Monday, Bill." They left with the usual good byes.
I finished my beer, turned to Lynne and said, "Looks like the night's ending early. I think I'll go home and catch the end of the Yankees game."
"Don't go!" she blurted out and lightly grabbed my arm. Quickly composing herself, she said, "What I mean is I've still got half my drink left and I don't want to finish it alone. How about if I buy you a beer?"
"Sure, but I hope you're not trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me."
"The thought has crossed my mind." She took another long drink, almost finishing it.
"It will take more than a few beers to do that. A lot more."
"What do you mean?"
"It's a long story. I thought we were just gonna finish these drinks and head our separate ways. Are you certain you have the time?"
"I don't have any plans for tonight, so I have the time."
"OK. In that case, let's get you another drink, so you won't get thirsty." I ordered another round and began, "First I need your promise that what I tell remains strictly between us."