Chapter 1
Gwn’s Sex Problem
Six months ago Gwn’s divorce became final. Until Gwn found out about Jim’s affair, they had led a near perfect young married life. They were college lovers, married after graduation and were raising two pre-teenage children.
Jim’s had built a successful business and provided them their dream home. Gwn assumed they had settled in to make their lives as normal as possible, that is, until Jim announced his plans for divorce.
On the outside, Gwn showed exceptional courage as she had gotten herself and her children through the absence of her husband and their father. After the divorce Jim sold the business and left Gwn and the kids financially secure. Jim and his new companion moved to Europe after taking a executive position with an International company. Jim made arrangements for the kids to visit a couple of times a year but it was increasingly clear that Jim’s interest in the kids was diminishing as he had a new career and a new female companion to occupy his time.
Gwn had just recently become aware of her growing need to satisfy the strong sexual drive that she and Jim had developed and enjoyed before their problems emerged. At an age of 38, she was in her sexual prime. She began to realize that she had to find a release for this energy that was becoming increasing more difficult to cope with.
The vibrators and dildos weren’t satisfying any more. Her self induced orgasm’s left her feeling empty. Gwn’s thought’s made her feel guilty. She wanted to feel the warmth of human flesh. She yearned for some interaction with another male.
Conversely, she wasn’t ready for a committed relationship nor could she imagine her sex life taking on a series of one night stands. She wanted to move on and forget the past. She was not ready to invest the work required on a new relationship. Her children weren’t ready, yet, she knew she had to find a solution for her emptiness
Gwn began to share her thoughts with Jeni, her next door neighbor. Jeni was in her late fifty’s and had been widowed for over ten years. She lost her husband in an automobile accident.
Jeni had become a close confidant and had listened, consoled and nurtured Gwn through her divorce. Although they were a generation apart in age, Gwn had begun to open up and discuss some of her most intimate thoughts with Jeni.
It was dark rainy Saturday morning with a cool breeze blowing, as Gwn prepared Jeni a cup of coffee. Without thinking Gwn commented, “Jim and I would have some of the best sex imaginable on days like today. I can’t imagine how he developed an interest in someone else.” She quickly realized what she said and began to apologize, “Jeni forgive me, I guess I’m getting so horny I let that slip.”
Jeni laughed as she comforted Gwn. “I went through the same emotions when I lost my husband. I would feel guilty and then try to suppress my true feelings. I became so frustrated I didn’t know what to do. I had no one to talk to. Finally I went to a therapist and with his help found the greatest solution.”
Gwn’s finally felt that she could ask more. “I’ve often wondered how you dealt with your sex needs. You seem so normal, so contented. I’ve been reluctant to ask you about things so personal.”
Jeni responded, “I have felt the same way. I just want to let you know that the emotions you feel are very normal and that you should not be ashamed of them nor should you try to suppress them. I tried and it didn’t work. I can help you when you are ready to discuss. My sexual needs are greater than you think.”
Gwn smiled as she absorbed Jeni’s comments. “Jeni, I guess I assumed that you had buried those feeling and learned how to exist without a sex life.”
“Oh no! Quite the contrary,” Jeni said, “While I may be the age of your mother, don’t think of me in the same non sexual way. I have the sex drive of a street whore.”
Gwn’s mouth fell open, “You are kidding, what are you talking about.”
Jeni began to explain, “As I said before I had to see a therapist. I felt that I could adjust to the most difficult circumstances. I found out later that was a wrong assumption. I couldn’t sleep at night. I would wake up in a sweat. There were times that I had the most perverted sexual dreams. I felt guilty. I couldn’t help myself. I thought that I could lock all of my sexual feelings in a little treasure chest and put them away. I considered my sex life over and that I would move on to “old maid heaven.”
Gwn echoed, “I feel the same way, but I’m still young.”
Jeni continued, “After 25 years of marriage, I did not want to go through all of the adjustments that would be required in a new relationship. In a perverse way I was enjoying my new independence. The kids were grown and living their own lives. I was left financially secure. I wanted to travel, enjoy my own interests and develop my own circle of friends. I damn sure did not want another man to come into my life and change all of that. I have grown beyond the romance stage.”
“I’m not sure I want a new husband either,” Gwn replied. “I’m afraid this sex drive may push me into a relationship that I’m not ready for.”
“I’ve been there. I’ve felt the same way. You have time on your side. Let it happen naturally.” Jeni advised. But, you have got to find a way to deal with you sex drive. The same thing happened to me. It nearly drove me crazy.”
“What did you do,” asked Gwn.
“Very simply, my therapist basically said that I had to get laid. The program and facilities were already in place. As a part of maintaining a person’s mental and psychological health it was recognized that the old rules of society did not take care of the sexual needs of people suddenly without a partner. Nor does it take care of the many women who lose a partner or those who chose a career over marriage and family. Why should they be penalized if a better way can be found to deal with the problem? My therapist prescribes a program directed at a complete sex life for everyone.”
Gwn’s look of astonishment widened. “I’m not sure I understand. Is the same thing true for men?”
“Absolutely, my therapist assured me that my situation was very similar for a large segment of the population. So much so, that they have developed a program at the Psychological Health Center to help men and women in similar situations. You may also be a candidate for this kind of help. If you are interested I can refer you to my therapist.”