The Day It All Began

The instant Dixon's hand touched mine I felt a tingling all the way to my core. All I can think is grab his tie, pull him to an empty room, and just kiss him. I finally remember how to talk and say "Hi. It's very nice to meet you. I'm Lauren." I wonder if he can see desire in my eyes. I wonder if Melissa can hear my heartbeat.

"Are you ready to get started?" I nod. It's about all I can do. I take his list of residents and lead the way. I don't know if you have ever done rounds with a doctor, a PA, or a NP, but it is time consuming. As we walk up and down the halls I am required to speak to Dixon and make sense. It's going fairly well. We have 60 residents and about 50 are his. We work steadily and efficiently for about an hour. Then he turns and says, "Well, that's about it for today. I have a meeting in Amarillo in an hour. Thank you for going with me."

I smile and say "No problem." I finish up a couple little things and head to Jackie Johnson's room. I walk in and she is asleep in her recliner. I do not wake her. But I do sit in her room and think over the last couple of hours. Watching Dixon interact with the residents was a very pleasurable time. His looks have thrown me. I have never been attracted to someone who looks like him, but I am. Immensely attractive to him. His voice is even better in person. The way he moves as he walks, the gentle way he touches the people I love. Realizing I am still attracted to him was easy, when was the last time I even wanted to hold hands with someone? It has been years since I have felt desire.

It is still pretty early so I decide to go check out a few books. Maybe that's what I need. Something to occupy my mind. I head to the bookstore on my way home, find a few intimate books, check out, and head home. As I'm driving, I can feel his hand in mine. I can hear his voice in my ear. I shake my head. This is insane. Who on Earth thinks this much about a man. I do not care how hot I think he is. I have to get him out of my head. I eat a light supper of tuna salad and some potato chips.

I am determined not to sit and think about him. I go out to my deck, and watch the sky get darker. Six in the morning comes way too soon, so I'm just going to go to bed. I lay down, grab a book and start reading. It is t holding my interest so I switch on the TV. Watching TV isn't something I do too often. I usually read or take a walk, but I am feeling very restless. As I drift off, I can see a pair of brown eyes looking at me.

I wake suddenly breathing in fast, heart pounding. I'm not afraid, I am aroused. I roll over and look at the clock, it's 3:30 so I decide to get up and get my day started. I stumble into the kitchen and start some coffee. It's a good thing I got that trip to Amarillo, if not it would be a miserable morning. I go get my scrubs, and get dressed. I am five feet eight. I weigh around 140, I do not like scales, so I am never sure. My hair is a light brown with some blonde creeping through, it's longer than I like. It is about to reach my waistband. I am by no means a raving beauty. I have a large nose, I wear glasses, and I don't wear makeup. I never look in the mirror, but this morning I find myself just sitting in front of my mirror, searching my face.

I give up looking for something that is not there and leave. Starting my car, I am struck again by how early it is. I am going to be very early to work. I bet the night shift will love me. I drive to work, thinking about what all I am going to do today. Some days my job feels very repetitive.

I hit Allanreed city limits and slow my bug down. I do not need another speeding ticket. It's 4:45, this is when I usually get up for work. Oh well. I'm just going to be early today. Weekends at nursing homes are more laid back, and usually I love working them. But today, I feel like I'd rather have all the administrative staff, and families, and the doctors calling. I am in the need of a distraction. I begin my shift, and everything is ok, until the phone rings. I glance at the clock. It's 1:30. I only have 30 more minutes until I go home. I answer, "Allanreed Nursing Center this is Lauren. Can I help you?"

"Lauren, it's Dixon." The voice on the other end is painfully familiar.

"Yes, Dixon what can I do for you." I say

In one million years, nothing would have prepared me for what I hear. "This is going to sound insane. Please don't think you have to say yes. I want to give you my cell number. I have thought about you nonstop since yesterday. It is xxx-xxx-xxxx. If you want to text or call me, please feel free"

I say "Ok, xxx-xxx-xxxx?"

"Yes." Then click.

The phone line is dead. I hang it up. Mary walks in for her shift, I give her report, count my med cart, and say goodbye to everyone.

I drive a lot faster than I normally do all the way back home. I am running to my apartment door, first thought on my mind is Where Is My Phone!

I find it, plug it in because I forgot to charge it as usual. I am not a patient person. My mom is always telling me that patience is a virtue that I will never have. After as long as I can stand I power the phone up. Do I call? Do I text? I really don't know. I think I will text, one it will be easier if he isn't interested. Two if this is a joke it is easier to pass off as a joke, through text.

I enter his number, which I must admit I have already memorized. Hit the letters with trembling fingers.

Hi. This is Lauren from ANC.

Hit send and wait. I decide that waiting is not going to be easy so I decide to clean. I vacuum, dust, and clean the windows. Now this sounds impressive, but I love in a small one bedroom apartment. I live alone, and I work all the time. So it really doesn't take long at all. I pick up my phone, nothing. Sigh and think, "Well. I guess that's that."

On my back deck, which I am lucky to have, Only a few units have one, I sit in the sun and just relax. My moms wedding is in the morning, she will expect me to put a lot more effort into my appearance than normal. I call my best friend, "Hey Candace, do you think you can squeeze me in today?"

"Sure Lauren. It will be at 5:46. Is that ok?" She said.

"Perfect. I will see you then" I hang up and set a alarm on my phone for five, just in case. As I am about to set my phone down I see I have a text. My heart skips a beat. I open it and see.

"Hey Lauren. So how was your day?"

I reply immediately. "I had a good day. Thanks. So how was your day?"

Only a few seconds pass when I see a new message, "It's been pretty slow. I am on call this weekend haven't had one call so far."

I have no clue what else to say. I grab a glass of wine from my fridge, while I think. Should I tell him I find him attractive? Should I just keep up the small talk? I am so bad at this. I finally hit reply, "Can I ask you a question?" Hit send, and pace. There is no other way to describe it. I have a phone clutched in one hand, a half full glass of wine I the other, walking four feet one way and four feet back. My phone is still charging so I can't walk far.

The response takes a few minutes but I eagerly open it, "Sure. If I can ask you one back."

I smile, well I guess that's fair, "Of course. Why did you give me your number?" I hit send. I am not sure I am breathing. When the ping comes I jump. I look at my phone and "Well, I think you are a person I would like to get to know." Was the reply.

What does that mean. Does he mean as a friend, nurse, sex slave, lover, or as a person. All I can type is "Ok. Your turn to ask a question."

Ping, I am more relaxed. My wineglass is empty. I place it in the sink, take a deep breath and look down. "I think my question is better suited for a phone call. Give me five minutes, and I will call you."

I decided to go to my bedroom, lay down. Plugging my phone in by my bed, I look around my bedroom. It has a king size bed, a dresser with a mirror and a. bedside table. My walls are a very dark green. I only have one picture anywhere on my walls. It's a large print of a picture I took of the Great Tetons.

Ring. Ring. I answer, "Hello."

"Lauren?" It was Dixon.

"Yea" I reply breathless again.

"I'm not sure how you will respond to this, so I just going to come out and say it. Ok?" Dixon said.

I hesitate, I am not sure what I was expecting, but that wasn't it. I take a deep breath and say "Ok. Please feel free."

"Lauren, I want to fuck you."