The Desire Principle

Chapter 5: Past, Present, Future

If Jake had been asked to describe his disposition in one word, it would be

perplexed

. He cautiously put his softening cock back in his pants, stood up, and donned the t-shirt that he had selected prior to his sudden and unexpected nap. Zipping and buttoning his fly, he stood for long moments staring at the bed, and Rosa's pair of white panties that were resting on it.

Reluctantly, he removed his gaze and stepped out of his bedroom, moving to the front of his house to slip on a pair of tennis shoes and set about further contemplating what had happened. Never before had Jake had such a vivid dream, and of all of the sexual dreams that he had experienced in the past, he always woke to discover that his unconscious orgasm had triggered an actual one. This time he had arisen clean, but feeling quite satisfied.

All of this was fairly easy to accept however, as he was forced to admit that he'd felt very different since finding the Heart of Gold, except for the apparent appearance of Rosa before he fell to sleep. While he had originally thought it just a very convincing fantasy he was creating, he could swear that he actually felt her touching him before he nodded off. "Was she actually here?" Jake wondered aloud, not caring that there was no one to hear him. "Is that why I didn't make a mess on myself?"

Of course the other factor was that he had fallen asleep, when he had not believed himself to be tired in the slightest. Admittedly he seemed to have only been out for a few moments, but it was very unlike Jake to take catnaps. He had always slept very soundly, straight through the night, and awoken quite refreshed in the morning, capable of going the rest of the day with a clear head. Jake became more and more concerned over all of this. He had hoped to make today a relatively normal one, after all of his recent abnormality, and this was not a very good omen of that.

*****

Even the hollow, emotionless sound of his car door slamming shut was vibrant and new. Jake stepped away from his vehicle and turned his gaze to the sprawling expanse of automotives floating in a pavement sea. He took in a breath of air, which despite the pollution of the urban sprawl was sweet. Somehow electrically charged, every aspect of his surroundings took on new meaning. The Heart thrummed silently on his chest.

Slightly nearer drew his destination as he walked, little by little. It was a wide and low monument on the horizon of his sight, affixed to the landscape as if it had been there since the dawn of time. Vigilant and unmoving, it was a gathering place for all classifications of people in this area, where they came to exchange things they valued. It was the tri-story local shopping center complex; the mall.

Jake wasn't entirely certain why he was coming here again. He mostly hoped that at the very least his new trinket would trigger some new sort of reaction, and he might be able to garner more understanding of it from the experience. Either that, or he would get laid. Technically both purposes would be self-serving, so he didn't presume to judge himself for hoping for the latter.

Craning his neck upward, he spied the sun flitting between the crevasses of a bank of fluffy white clouds.

It's too nice a day to spend in the mall

, he thought. Briefly he wondered if he should go elsewhere, his eyes tracing from the clouds to a trio of seagulls that were gliding on an invisible air current. As Jake followed the distraction he mused on their name.

We're not anywhere near a sea, we're in a parking lot. Lot-gulls? Just gulls, I guess

, he silently babbled, watching them land near a torn fast food bag that some litterer had littered.

There, beyond the gulls and the garbage, on a shallow hill manufactured as a more esthetically pleasing barrier between two parking lots, stood the old man from the riverbank. He grinned his wicked grin, teeth uneven, lips chapped and cracking, skin pockmarked and yellowed. The sun somehow didn't shine on him at all.

Before thinking, Jake's body was put to mind my reflexive synapses. His legs jerked, his arms tensed, and he was running at break-neck speed. That rage boiled in his gut, demanding satisfaction. He had to stop that grin. Everything that he was demanded that he put an end to it. But as he approached, the old man simply lifted his hand as if to bid Jake to stop, and he did it. Inexplicably, he slowed down, he stopped, and he stated dumbly from the base of the little embankment.

"Why you in such a hurry, sonny?"

Jake stared aghast. He had no recourse for this. He was utterly disarmed; unable to conjure the proper and reasonable response, because there wasn't one.

"Cat got your tongue?" chortled the old creature. "Don't suppose you have much to say to the likes of me, eh?"

He frowned thoughtfully as he watched the twitchy eyes on the wrinkled face inspect him. He felt calmer now, but still uneasy. "Are you here to mock me some more? Taunt me with riddles? I'm not in the mood."

"No, no," came back the feeble voice quickly, "I ain't in no mood neither." The smarmy expression the man wore did little to belie his honesty. "But I know you need to know some things, and that's what I come for."

Jake's brow scrunched together as he tried to focus on understanding. "The last time I saw you, you didn't seem too interested in answering anything." He attempted to give his best indignant stare.

"I gave plenty of answers, you just didn't care to listen."

The sound that Jake made in reaction could best be described as a growl. He balled up his hands for a moment, but slowly relaxed them. "I'm listening," he said through gritted teeth. A soft breeze swept by him, and he gazed unblinkingly.

That wretched smile curled across the dry lips of the old face. "Havin' some trouble with gettin' your desires in order, eh?"

Jake felt like he nodded, but he didn't. He began to sputter questions. "Is this thing changing reality?" he began, grasping at the Heart. "Can I make it turn on whenever I want? Will it just do anything-"

He was cut off by another simple gesture. "It just reacts, sonny. It does what you want, without you needin' to want it first." His expression seemed to suggest that he thought that his explanation was sufficient, despite the obvious contrary. Thankfully Jake's blank face seemed to be a little more communicative. The old man sighed, and continued. "Everyone figures it out different. What's been-"

It was now Jake's opportunity to interject. "Everyone? How many people have had this before me?" He thought for a moment and asked a new question. "Did you used to have it? Did you leave this in the mud for me?"

Lines began to converge on the ancient, wrinkled face as the man grimaced and shook his head. "No, this ain't right, this ain't the point. Look, you had any dreams or any-"

Jake took a step forward excitedly this time as he spoke. "Yeah! It was... vivid. Intense, you know? I was in this weird house..."

As Jake began to trail into his memory of the event, the man shook his head more. "I don't need to know about it. Just wanted to see how far it'd got."

"How far what had gotten? You're still not answering me!" Jake was shouting, uncaring if he drew attention, somehow hoping he drew attention so that someone else could share in seeing, and hating this old man.

The dismissive gestures of the spotted hands did nothing to calm Jake at this point, but the elder voice croaked all the same, "Calm down, sonny."

The words were insubstantial. "What did the dream mean? Did I actually do that to somebody? What's happ-" Jake didn't need to be cut off by anyone. His voice simply terminated in the middle of a word. He felt ill without any discernable reason. All at once he was hit with fatigue and vertigo, and felt himself falling. The world became a blur of motion, and he drifted groundward.

*****

Jake stood on the edge of a stone bridge, a shallow stream quietly burbling beneath him. It was night, and the moon was waxing half-full. The sweet scent of burning wood drifted through the cool air. He turned to his left to see a building, the size of a hotel, consumed by flames. He felt happy, not the least bit concerned.

The light of the fire was bright, and he lifted his hand to shield his eyes. The hand was dark-skinned, clearly not Caucasian. His arm was not covered by a sleeve, and his skin was rough and dry. He could feel the muscles twitch, and knew that he had great power in these limbs.

Turning to his right now, he reached out and beheld a beautiful African woman, her ebony skin aglow in the vague light. Jake brought the hand he had used to protect his eyes around and swept her tangled hair from in front of her face. He bent down and set a passionate kiss on her lips, sharing with her a sensation of exhilaration, of freedom. His hand slid down her form, brushing her breasts momentarily before touching her stomach, which was swollen with pregnancy. At his chest he felt a reassuring warmth.

*****

In the dim morning light that filtered in through the rice-paper screen on his window, Jake gazed lovingly at the slight form of a nude woman. Her silky black hair lay across her pillow as if it had been painted there, sweeping away from her face. Beautiful Asian features gazed back at Jake; almond-shaped eyes and a slender nose, graceful eyebrows, pronounced cheek bones and pouting lips. Her elegant chin curved down into a slender neck and then splayed out smoothly into shoulders, a delicate collarbone stretching between them. Her arms lay close by her body, supporting two perfect breasts which had such a natural curve to emulate droplets of water. Petite nipples sat at the center of the delectable orbs, erect in the hazy morning.

Jake's hand, rugged with coarse black hair and thickly calloused fingers, gently touched her cheek. His stroke slid along the curves that he had previously only coveted with his mind, sloping along the outer edge of her arm, past her chest, and lightly turning at her elbow to cut across to her stomach. She quivered at the contact, the soft skin of her belly shuddering ever so slightly. Still Jake persisted, his fingers gliding along the curve of her abs and gently playing at her belly button. She giggled, the first sound Jake had heard, and he nearly lost himself in the resonance.

Looking back to her eyes, soft brown orbs that looked back into him, he allowed his hand to draw lower, and lower. She blushed and looked away as he felt his fingers connect with soft hair, and he too diverted his eyes. Glancing back down he saw the straight strands of her pubic hair gracefully stretching downward toward her slightly swollen lips. It looked almost as if it had been groomed to look this way, but in a carefree way that made it evident that this was natural.

Jake's fingers continued beyond the silken mane, and touched the supple flesh it guarded. A second sound came - a sharp intake of breath - and her body went still. Jake took in her form as she lay there, trying not to move in anticipation of his actions. He took a great pleasure in slowly easing his hand down along the seam of her sex, watching her entire body shudder and quiver. She was statuesque in her immaculate beauty, but with such simple contact from him, she became vulnerable. To Jake, it was the most sensual thing about her.

He withdrew his hand, and her form relaxed, nearly melted. She turned slowly and looked at him, and her lips parted. She spoke, in Japanese. Somehow Jake knew her language; she said only "Please."

Obliging without resistance, Jake's hands found their place on either side of the beautiful young Japanese woman's head. He lifted his body over top of her, his knees resting on either side of her legs, and stared down. Those pleading eyes, looking deep into him, were all he needed in this moment. But she needed more. He shifted one leg and pressed a knee between hers, and then the other, spreading her thighs. He lowered himself toward her, drawing enticement from each inch that evaporated between them.

She gasped once more as the tip of his head touched her entrance. An electric shock ran to Jake's brain, and he clenched his muscles. His desire for her was burning in his chest now, but he was resolute. He watched her, waiting for her to ease again, and then pressed forward.

As his shaft began to spread her open, she closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, turning her head to lie on the pillow. He did not pause this time, and continued to slowly ease his way in. Her face scrunched up in concentration, and she exhaled hard as if all of the air was being forced from her, but she remained still and flat on the bed, and still, Jake pressed on.

Taking rapid breaths now, she rasped and wheezed quickly. He was nearly filling her, but she was rigid, unmoving, other than her heaving chest. Her eyes were clenched shut as she simply felt his pulse inside of her, his breathing inches above her. Jake looked on her frozen form, and she simply accepted him. Her submission was not out of fear, nor of shame. It was just her place. She was his, entirely.

Jake felt his testicles come to rest comfortable on her ass; he was completely within her now. Tensing his arms and chest, he started to lift himself away from the prone female body beneath him, but was stopped.

She became a flurry of motion without warning. A moment earlier she simply accepted his presence, but as he began to withdraw himself she refused. Her arms sprung up from her sides and looped behind his head, pulling his face to hers. She opened her lips and pressed them to his, her tongue darting demandingly into his mouth. As he returned the kiss she began to suck at him hungrily, a sensation that Jake had not experienced before, and found incredibly erotic.

Pulling him closer still, she also enclosed him in her legs. As he attempted to focus on the kiss she drew him further into her moist pussy, flexing her abs and working back and forth against him, even as she was there suspended beneath his body. It was too much to remain focused on all at once, and Jake's arms gave out, sending the two crashing to the surface of the bed. She was unfettered though, and simply arched her back to press her erect nipples against his chest.

Jake slipped one arm beneath her head and pulled her closer as their wet, forceful kiss went on. His other hand came in close to his body, and he groped at her breast, doing his best to find her nipple as she twisted and writhed against him. Her convulsions seemed a mixture between an attempt to draw him deeper and buck him off. She would dig her heels in and pull him close, forcing his cock deep, and then throw her hips forward and then back, rubbing her clitoris against his shaft. Jake was practically dripping wet, and could no longer resist taking control again.

He pressed her against the bed, pushing both arms under her body and clenching tight. Her upper half was held fast, and Jake pulled away to disengage the kiss, reluctantly. Her head thrashed for a moment as she gulped in air. Jake brought his face down and began to trace a line of kisses along her neck and jaw-line. His hands slid up and down her back, and he pulled his hips backward, then thrust. She gasped, and struggled to breathe again.

The speed of their actions increased with each push and pull. She was buried beneath his weight, but still attempted to grind herself on his pulsing member. He was lost in the ecstasy of her sex, but strained for focus enough to continue to pull back and press inward once more. And then the warning came; a sensation in his groin like heat and cold all at once. He froze for a moment, debating his choices. He knew that he should pull away, but he wanted to push further. He wanted to fill her with his seed.

She continued to writhe and convulse, and Jake could feel her orgasm approaching as quickly as his. He closed his eyes, bit his tongue, and pulled her close. Pressing himself as deeply as he could, he ground against her as she had done to him. She moaned, low and feral. He felt her quiver as her orgasm began, and he held himself in place, on the verge of climax. Jake heard a voice echo as he spoke, "I love you, Lin," and then he repeated himself in Japanese. His semen splashed inside of her, seeking her womb as he held her tighter than he ever had or ever would again.

A heat surged at Jake's chest, and a bright flash filled their room. Everything became a wash of white, color and shape ceasing to exist, and there was silent serenity. This moment was perfection, and was nothing.

*****

Jake held a gun, barrel hot and smoking. His hands shook. Frail, small hands at the end of malnourished arms were balled into fists, belonging to not more than a pre-teen surely. Before him lay a man, dead. He looked up with an eternal scream, a fresh hole having just been bored between his eyes. Vivid red blood still bubbled from the wound.

Looking into the dead eyes of this face, Jake felt a surge of power. He lifted his hands, and opened them slightly. The left held the gun, hot and angry. In his right hand was a small trinket, a golden medallion shaped like a heart. It pulsed as he gazed at it, and his hand felt warm. Jake wanted to feel that sensation forever. He wanted power, more than he could handle. He wanted it all.

*****

A fire crackled in a cast-iron stove, an antique that was far more wasteful than it was worth. Jake looked into the fire and felt the heat of it wash over him, bathing him in comfort and tranquility. As the wave of sensation passed, a warmth lingered in his chest, and on it. He became more aware of his surroundings.

He sat in a comfortable chair in a small room with rough wooden planks for walls. The plush carpet beneath his bare feet practically massaged his tender soles. His eyelids closed and his head languidly turned to one side and the other, the muscles in his neck and back seeming to unravel as all stress melted out of him. As he opened his eyes, he saw in the chair beside him sitting an old man. The old man, in fact, his wrinkled visage unmistakable. He sat, reading a book silently.

"Finally came to see me, eh sonny?"

For once, the nickname didn't anger Jake, nor the voice of the old man. He simply nodded and listened, at peace.

The old man nodded back, and closed his book. "You're startin' to get it, I think. You gotta relax more." He set his book on an ottoman before him. "Don't try to want it, just accept that you do. And try to know

why

, so you can want it

better

."

Jake somehow understood what he meant, even though he knew it wasn't making a whole lot of sense. He nodded again, and turned back to the fire. He closed his eyes willfully this time, and listened to the burning wood crackle.

"And remember that it's about knowin' yourself, not knowin' others. Don't lose yourself in the dreams. They're warnings, not promises."

His breathing was slow as he digested the words of the old man. He felt as if he needed to open his eyes, but he didn't care to. He felt strangely more at peace in this place than any other. He felt as if finally he was at home.

"You can do anything, be anything, have anything, or anywhere. There ain't boundaries to worry about. You can go anywhere, anytime. Just understand why you want it, and you can guide your desires."

Another few deep breaths, and Jake felt himself falling again. As if he was drifting off to sleep, but was reflexively resisting it. The Heart thrummed with warmth and pressure, as if it were actually pumping blood through him. His body jerked, and he blinked sleepily.

*****

Jake turned slowly in the hazy nothing. The world was a languid blur of surreal colors to him now, his reality somehow different than it was just moments before. It was as if he understood everything, but could relate to nothing. He simply drifted in the shapes and shadows, waiting for his body to orient itself on something solid, something tangible, something relevant. As the shifting lines took form, he found he was looking into a pair of beautiful iridescent blue eyes. Rosa's eyes.