Next time I’ll check the memo.
I hate memos. They never say anything. There’s usually a dozen a day to read, sort, and file.
And they get lost.
That’s what I did with the Halloween memo. Actually, I probably threw it away. Without reading it.
If I had read it, it would have reminded me of the annual Halloween costume event at work. Everyone was to wear a costume. There would be a costume contest. And trick or treating.
Like I said, I never read it. So I dressed in my usual shirt, tie, and jacket and went to work.
I like to get to work early. There are fewer phone calls. And without the rest of the staff there, it is quieter. I was sitting at my desk in peaceful, and ignorant, bliss, when Carol, my secretary entered my office.
“What are you supposed to be?” she asked.
“Hard at work. And you are …?” I really needed to ask. Carol is thirty and was dressed as a cross between a Playboy bunny and a devil. She had a tight, low cut black leotard with a long red tail and horns. And hose. Fishnet stockings, which encased her luscious legs. She has a nice body that she usually hides under layers of clothes and bulky sweaters. There was nothing left to the imagination today.
“I’m a devil, silly. But you’re not wearing a costume.”
“I didn’t know ….”
“Memo number 03-645, Halloween festivities, which stated that we were supposed to dress up for the holiday. You know, one of those management things to build rapport and make us think it’s a great company.”
“Well, I missed that one. I’ll get it next year.”
“Oh, no. We’re judged as a department, and if everyone doesn’t have a costume, then the whole department is disqualified.”
“Well, like I said, there’s always next year.”
“Look, I didn’t dress like some sleazy she-devil to wait till next year. The winning department goes to Cancun and you’re not ruining it for us. Or for me. So you will be wearing a costume today.”
“Okay.” Great.
“So it’s time to make you a costume. Let’s see. I need your earpiece for your cell phone, sunglasses, and a pen cap.”
Who was I to argue? It seemed easy enough. And the quicker I got her out of the room, the sooner I could get to work. I assembled the required parts and sat back.
“Okay, Mark, we’re going to make you into a Secret Service Agent. A few quick changes ….”
Carol took the earpiece and moved close to me. I felt her breath on my neck and her breasts push against my back as she placed the earpiece in my ear and then ran the wire down my back. She placed the pen cap on lapel like a microphone. Then she put the glasses in place.
“Something’s missing.” She left the room and returned a few minutes later with a blue blazer. “Bill in purchasing will never miss it. He’s a scarecrow today. Pretty lame one at that.”
She walked around to me and slipped the jacket over my arms. She stood in front of me, brushing her hands along my shoulders, tugging at the sleeves. “You’ve been working out, haven’t you?”
