My wife and I established a system to know when we were both in the mood for various activities. We have a small table against the wall in our entry hallway. There is a system of rules to control the tempo of how often a request can be made, by either partner. This is how it began.
We'd, I'd rather, introduced bondage and kink play, role-playing, BDSM and the desire for a Dom Sub experience in the bedroom. We'd never been terribly vanilla in our intimacy but we weren't out flaunting the fact that we had an increasing number of sex toys, equipment, and gear either. We quietly lived our fairly normal lives and from time to time would experiment with something new. The more we tried, the more we enjoyed things and the further we pushed the boundaries. I'd honestly took the line a bit too far with "living" a dominant and submissive lifestyle when one morning I was in the mood on a Saturday, the house was empty and as we finished our coffee in the living room with the news on the television I dropped a pillow on the floor in front of me and just boldly said "Come kneel over here and see if you can help me relieve some stress." as I gestured to my thick engorged length barely held in by my pajama shorts.
Jenny looked over at me rather frustrated and angry "I'm not some submissive live in play thing that you can just request to suck you off at leisure, I'm your wife. I know we've talked about the whole dominant submissive lifestyle thing but I'm just not ready to be a full time submissive. We've got to get back to some basics and a way to communicate that we're open for different things. I mean what if I want to be dominant sometime, or what if one of us wants something more basic, or something different. We've got to fix this before it ruins us Joey, we can't just have you comming home being Mr Dominant and me just playing along as little miss submissive all the time. I miss just sex sometimes, I miss just fooling around and doing hand stuff or dry humping each other like a couple of lust fueled college kids sometimes. Hell I even just want to role play something different sometimes. But we're in this rut and we need to fix it before it wrecks us. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go out shopping with some friends to cool off and we need to find a way to solve this before it breaks us so you can think about that while I'm out for the day!" Jenny stood up and kicked the pillow I had placed on the floor across the room, went and gathered a few things and left for the day still visibly mad as she stormed out.
I sat... I had gone and messed up. Took this whole dominant submissive thing one step too far. Requesting her to service me on a Saturday morning while watching the news and expecting her to willingly crawl over, pull down my boxers and eagerly service me orally until I climaxed somewhere in or on her and fit her to be happily excited about the task and result.
Now how to fix it? I placed my coffee cup on the table stood, picked up the pillow and straightened the couch and headed upstairs to shower.
On the way up I passed the hall entry with the table and the dish recalling of college key parties from when we were younger. That dish was used for several of those events. I began to recall those evenings as I headed the rest of the way up, grabbed a towel, some fresh clothes and started the shower pissed at myself and thinking about our relationship. She didn't want a full time dominant submissive life but didn't say she wanted out or to be done done actually she specifically said "We've got to get back to some basics and a way to communicate that we're open for different things." before she continued through the rest of her thought. So she wanted a way to communicate being open to things.
I was starting to think things through more clearly and calmly and allowed the warmth of the shower to begin to relax me. I began to think of the other things she had said about role-playing, slowing down, doing missionary, doing hand stuff and dry humping, perhaps even her being dominant. I began to assemble an idea of how to offer choice and freedom of flexibility.
Calming myself and recalling the monolog Jenny had rambled off I let the warm water run over me and recalled the many more ordinary activities that we had explored. Daydreaming about things and recalling many sensuous sessions just in this shower we had remodeled and customized several aspects alone to allow for sexual exploits, the bench built along the back of the shower to be able to sit on or lean onto to allow for her to bend over and brace herself or sit on my lap and either ride me or enjoy time exploring each others bodies and masturbating ourselves or each other to epic loud orgasms, the noise bouncing off the tiled insulated walls to retain the lewd sounds from escaping the room, the open shower wet room design with no curtain or glass wall allowing for ample room and easy clean up of not only each other but the surfaces as well. I started to become aroused and recalled all of the research we had done to find a lube that was highly water resistant to allow smooth flowing actions for hand play or penetration. Knowing that we had installed an on demand water heater with high flow to keep up with the multiple shower heads and steam jets and carefully selected multi function, and multi orgasmic, hand sprayer as well. I found myself slowly fondling my now hard seven and a half inch long two inch wide shaft.
As my mind wondered back through these times images of Jenny wantonly and eagerly participating, stroking me vigorously, begging for me to burry myself inside her, demanding that I climax inside her when we were attempting to conceive children. Her fit frame, tan and relatively lean begging to be deposited inside of seeking to spawn new life. I started drawing my hand up and down my length imagining my brunette goddess bent at the waist, water and steam covering us both, as I stood behind her gripping her hips and entering her from behind the wet slapping sound of my pelvis making contact with her firm globe like buttocks and the feel of my scrotum tapping against her mons and clitoris as we vigorously searched for a simultaneous climax where we would mash our bodies together. My hand stroked more quickly, I squirted some conditioner into my palm to use as lube on my bare shaved manhood enjoying the silky smooth feeling of the lotion like application my legs began to quiver and my glutes clenched, my testes drew high and tight in my scrotum as my self pleasure orgasm drew closer. A few more rapid strokes of my hand and my jaw clenched as I grunted and let out a moan of her name and began to spurt multiple ropes of white sticky semen several feet out from me into long lines on the shower floor as I continued to manipulate myself through the heights of a powerful orgasm dispensing my built up seed onto the shower room floor and watched it begin to be scattered away by the hot flowing water as my pleasure subsided and my erection began to become too sensitive and soften. I rinsed my hands under and my penis and testes off, finished washing and made sure to send the remnants of my ejaculate down the floor drain before turning off the shower and drying myself and getting dressed. I left my graying slightly thinning hair to mostly air dry in a messy fashion and headed back downstairs.
Walking back down I once again passed the dish in the front entry and thought more about it's use to select partners, could it be used to select other activities? I went to the kitchen and made myself a mid day mai tai to have a cocktail, then grabbed a note pad and pen and headed back to the living room, turned the television back on the same boring all day news channel and thought back through Jenny's statement and worked at the start of an idea. I poured several hours, and several cocktails into writing and re-writing mutiple drafts of this concept down into my notepad before going to grab my computer, excited about the concept and it's hopeful approach to repairing what I had allowed to become damaged in our relationship by my outright wants and desires and assuming those aligned with her non verbal acceptance as the status quo not realizing she was not enjoying the full time submissive role I had assigned to her.
By the time Jenny got home I had flushed out a document, a slide deck, a few print outs, and solid draft of a new arrangement. I ordered some take out to be delivered late-ish, knowing she would likely not be home until well into the dinner hour and set four bottles of white wine in the chiller to be available for my conversation and presentation I wanted to give.
