One day after football practice, Matt, our head coach, Jane, his wife, and I were talking about the upcoming holiday weekend, and they invited me over to their house for Jane's birthday party.
"It's just going to be people from football, some family, and a few co-workers." Matt told me. "Hell, it beats spending a Saturday night at home alone."
"Yeah, and come solo. I've invited some of my single girl friends, and my sister will be there, too." Jane said. "And, bring a swim suit, the pool is going to be a popular spot."
"Single women, in bathing suits, food and drink, and a pool? Well, with incentives like that, how can I say no?" I joked. "I'll be there."
As we were leaving, Matt warned me about Jane's sister. "She's not really what I would think would be your type." he said.
"She's a Bible-thumper, and she's recently separated, after she caught her husband nailing the choir director in their bed."
"Not a problem." I told him. "Thanks for the warning."
By the time that I got there, the party was in full swing. Matt and Jane were already pleasantly buzzed, and the rest of the party was closing in fast.
Jane, who on a normal day, is just plain gorgeous, was in fine form that day. She was walking around in a bikini, and looked breathtaking. When she saw me, she gave me a big hug, and I told her how good she looked.
"Hell, I'm not too bad for an old broad of 40, huh?" She said. "At least I can still wear a bikini!"
"And look damn hot in it, if I may say so." I told her.
"Oh, kind sir, you can say that ALL you like!" she giggled, and walked away to mingle with some of the other guests.
As I was watching her ass sway as she walked away, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned, and saw Matt standing next to me, watching me watch his wife.
"Yep, that is a fine sight, isn't it?" He asked. "And I get to play with that whenever I want."
"You know, Matt, I'm not normally the jealous type, but I've got to say, I envy you." I told him.
"When you two are done drooling over my sister, can you start the grill, Matt?" We heard from behind us. " Some of us are getting hungry."
I turned to see who was talking to us, and was amazed. I knew instantly that this was Jane's sister. She looked exactly like Jane, only shorter, with reddish hair, and a smaller chest.
"Kurt, this is Janis, Jane's sister." Matt said, as he introduced us.
"Janis, it's a pleasure." I said, as I took her hand. "I can see that the beauty was well distributed in your family."
"Yeah, thanks" She answered. "Matt, the food?" She reminded him, as she turned and walked away.
"Boy, isn't she the friendly one?" I joked, watching her, thinking that while she may have her sister's looks, and even a nicer ass from what I could see, she didn't have the personality.
"I told you. Listen, you cook, don't you?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, I'm at home on the grill, why?" I responded.
"Well, I'm a little too buzzed to really cook right now, and I've got to take care of something else. Would you mind?" He asked. "I'll get the food out to you, the coals are ready to go by now."
"Not a problem. Just keep the beers coming, too." I joked.
"Great. I'll get the cooler full of food, and get you some beers, and you should be all set." And with that, he was gone.
I made my way over to the grill just as Matt got the food and my beers there.
"I'll be out in a few minutes. I need to take care of something." He told me, as he walked away.
I threw some burgers, dogs, steaks, and sausages on the grill, and popped open a beer.
When the first round of food was ready, I started to load the food into the trays that Matt had set out, and Janis walked up.
"It's about time. I'm starving, and there are a lot of drunks here that need food!" She said. "And he's got YOU cooking?!?"
"Is there a problem with me cooking?" I asked. "Matt said that he had to take care of something, and asked me to run the grill. It's no problem. That's what friends do. You know, you really need to lighten up. This is a party. Have a drink. You'll feel better."
"I don't NEED alcohol!" she blurted out, as she stormed away.
I just chuckled, and thought "That's what you think. You definitely need SOMETHING!", as I tossed the rest of the food on the grill.
A couple of minutes later, Janis came back to the grill, red-faced. "Well, I found out what Matt 'needed to take care of'," She declared.
"OK." I answered.
"Would you like to share, or are you going to keep it a secret?" I asked, getting tired of her snotty attitude.
"He's 'taking care' of my sister!" She said. "They're having ... sex ... in their bedroom right now. I went looking for them ,and I could hear her through the door! It's disgusting!!"
"Well good for them" I said. "You must have been listening to them for a while. You were gone long enough, so it couldn't have been THAT disgusting."
With that, she looked like she was ready to slap me, but thought better of it, and just stormed away, taking some food with her.
After all of the food was cooked, and as I was eating, Matt and Jane reappeared, and he came up to me and thanked me for cooking.
"Hey, it was my pleasure." I told him. "Besides, apparently, I wasn't the only one doing some cooking."
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Janis went looking for you, and heard you through the door." I told him.
"Oh, geez. Now, I'm sure she's going to give Jane grief about it, too." He said.
"Has she always been this uptight?" I asked him.
"She's always been uptight, and holier-than-thou, but ever since she caught her husband, she's been even worse." He answered.
As the night progressed, people started to gravitate towards the pool. I was at the pool side bar, getting another beer, when Janis appeared. I knew that she had lit into Jane about what she had heard, and I was a bit peeved.
"You know, you really need to get off your high-horse and lighten up. You may think that you don't NEED alcohol, but in your case, it sure as hell wouldn't hurt." I told her.
"Oh, sure. I bet that's your answer to everything, isn't it? Drink yourself into a stupor, and everything will be fine!"
