Well it was that time of year again. I had to go make nice with all the old bats in hubby's family. His family is nothing but a bunch of bible thumpers. Don't get me wrong, religion is a fine thing, but I don't want to be a hypocrite, so I avoid it if at all possible.
I hadn't seen my brother-in-law Lee in over a year. He went back to California, where he was stationed. We spent long nights on the computer chatting and having cyber sex. He promised me he would be back in June, and he was looking forward to seeing me most of all.
The drive to Kentucky took forever. My father-in-law was the worse driver. He barely went the speed limit, and I was in a hurry. If I passed him up, I heard protests from hubby "But what if they break down?" All I could think of was "Good then that would be 3 less people to look at"
We get to the park, and release the kids to go play on the playground. I scan the parking lot looking for the '76 Ford truck, that I knew was Lee's. None in sight, so I turn to greet the family.
All I hear about is this person had a baby, and that person was pregnant, they got divorced, on and on, and on. They hummed like a swarm of bees.
Not too many years ago I was the center of gossip. I can still hear them to this day
"Thomas got a 17 year old girl pregnant, she's a slut, and going to ruin his career in the Marines. He is 20 years old, he should know better." 5 months later our son arrives, and I know the old bats were checking to see if he realy did look like hubby.
I looked out over the play ground to see where the kids were. Then I hear it. I knew that sound. It was Lee's truck. I could see it over the cars in the lot. It took every ounce of self control I had not to run out there and attack him as he got out.
He strolled over to the pavilion and did the rounds amongst the family. He started to walk over to me, and gave me a hug. He hugged the kids and ran to play too. He has always had a soft spot for children. I know he will make a great father one day.
We all had a nice time. Around 4:00 the crowd started to thin out. There were only a few people left.
Thomas and his sister started an ice water battle. I was happy sitting on the bench laughing my ass off at the fools, when I felt ice water go down my back. I didn't even look to see who it was I just tossed my cup of Pepsi.
"you are so going to pay for that" I froze. It was Lee's voice. I got up and ran. He has a way of paybacks. He finally caught up with me, and in his hand was a watermelon rind. Oh God I hate watermelon. He tossed it at me, and it went all over the front of my shirt. That was it.. I declared war.
We threw everything we could find, Kool-Aid, Pepsi, fried chicken. Then he picks up the other half of the watermelon. He comes at me, I was not fast enough, and he tackled me to the ground. He shoved watermelon all over me. It was in my hair, my eyes, my ears. As we laughed and I begged him to stop, I realized his leg was between mine, and I could feel my juices start flowing.
We got up, we both were sticky, and covered with pine needles and grass.
Thomas looked at us, and said there was no way I was getting into our new car like that.
