I was fucked up in my life around this time. Well, I was MORE fucked up around this time.
A lot of it had to do with a beautiful stripper named Leslie. I loved her. She loved me too, but she loved someone more. The point is, I had her and I lost her. I lost my best friend and I lost my fantasy, and I felt dead.
Leslie was the girl who made me cold. I was convinced I would never find a woman who could stimulate me emotionally or mentally again.
She also stimulated me sexually. But unlike the other two things, this is something I thought could be replaced. There are a lot of girls who are hot as fuck, and sexually liberated.
So one night I was watching the Phoenix news. I started to think about Leslie, and the thousands of other strippers down there in the valley, and even the porn stars that lived in Phoenix, like Jenna Jameson, and it depressed me because I realized I was in Flagstaff, where the sexual energy was minimal, unless you're into body odor and body hair, everywhere.
So I decided I'd go find some weed. I got in my car and the fucking tire was flat. Either I ran over broken glass at a party the night before, or some jealous guy must have slashed my tires. I really didn't give a fuck.
I went back into my house and logged on to the internet. At first I was going to download some pictures of Briana Banks, but I thought that would probably depress me. See, when I see great porn, I get aroused, but I wonder, "Why am I just LOOKING at this? Why can't my dick be in Briana's ass?"
With this in mind, I remembered Literotica.com, a cool fucking website where you can read and write erotic stories. I had submitted stories in the past. I knew I was gifted with words, but I didn't think anyone would read my stuff, but they did, and I got feedback. People really liked a story I wrote about an old guy with 2 young sisters. A lot of the feedback was horny guys telling me to write another story they could jack off too, or girls saying, "Your story got me hot, I'm gonna go fuck my boyfriend now" Well, I was very flattered I had gotten vaginas wet and penises hard, but I kind of wished someone would read the story and want me.
So I logged on, got a new account under my porn name, "Zack Crash" and wrote a viciously hot story about me meeting a girl on Literotica.com and having thundering, fiery, volcanic sex with her. I felt evil during the writing, evil and satisfied, knowing how much I was teasing my readers, giving them an image, but no reality. It was fucking great.
So a few days later I decided to look at my feedback. People had liked the story, but most of the feedback was the same as last time, even more unpleasant. One sick fuck told me he ruined his keyboard because of my story.
I was about to give up on my fans, and dismiss them all as old, ugly women, perverted guys like me, and young girls who had to read my stories so that they could be aroused enough to have sex with their lame boyfriends.
But then I read a letter that said, "You really know how to get a girl hot. Do you know how to get a hot girl to be as satisfied with your body as she is with your mind? I hope so."