The first time I saw Rose, she was kneeling in a dog run. Her torso was erect. Her hands were cupping around a white and black Jack Russell terrier and Beagle mix named Jack. Her hands were carefully holding the bundle of soft, short fur. The dog was curled into a surrendered ball to accept her petting. The dog head with the small floppy ears seemed very intelligent, the way that it tossed itself into her hand clamoring for love.
Rose's clothes were a little bit odd. By all means, she was nicely dressed with new and well groomed clothes. However, there was a bit of a utilitarian feel about the size of the clothes. The t-shirt was perfectly long enough to cover the belt loop of her jeans. Yet, most girls were t-shirts that are either overly long to appear like a gone or are too short to expose the midriff a bit. Similarly, her pants had a very classic Levi's jeans cut. Someone looking clothes might have thought that she was from a boarding school.
The other cue was that whenever Jack ran behind her, she did not turn around. Instead her body remained still. Her hands would slowly sift through the air. And, her before joyfully smiling face would get a tense, focused expression. She always wore sunglasses, the ones that beach volley ball players wear. The whole glasses are one smooth, solid black plastic shield across her face.
If you watched the dog close enough, his behavior also displayed a different attitude to her than to the other shelter volunteers. The dog would give her a little extra space, like it knew that he had to look out for her. And, the dog would regularly look at her face to find out what was going on with her in a very sensitive manner.
Rose was blind.
From the first day, Jerry had curiously watched her from a distance. The difference and vulnerability had attracted him to her. Yet, he did not dare to appear rude. He also didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So, he hadn't approached her. He had waited for a chance encounter. However, she always kept separate from the other shelter volunteers. So, he never randomly bumped into her.
The city animal shelter consisted of pale concrete walls, bright metal fences, and yellow grit stones on the walkways. Because the climate was so sunny and warm, all the animals were outside. A gentle breeze blew in between the cages to alleviate the dirty dog smell as best as it could. There was a big green lawn with comfortable benches to let the dogs free run.
Walking past the kennels, some days ignited the dog into a frenzy. The little Chihuahua's would bark their high pitched barks. A couple big dogs pitched in with deeply baritone bark blows. A few pit bulls would jump head high to release pent up energy and angst. Other times, the kennel pack was docile and sleepy.
Jerry folded dog blankets and towels inside of the laundry room with the door open. The blankets were hodgepodge of donations: Tiny ultra-soft neon colored store bought blankets, big white human comforters, blue horse blankets, and so on. Most of the blankets were so soft that he wondered about getting new bedding for himself. Some were shredded by dogs chewing them up.
While he folded the mountain of laundry that the industrial dryer spewed out, he watched the outside. There were three dog runs that he could see. A sand colored pit bull mix would often stand at the door looking out. Occasionally, visitors looking to adopt a dog would stop by. Weekends, the young women visiting were often dressed up in light and cute dresses with flip flops. He loved watching them parade by. And, if a little wind blew, his favorite pastime was watching their dresses intently like a cat watching a mouse hole. This once a big butted chick bent over, and he almost saw her panties. However her boy friend stopped by and glared at him. Jerry quickly looked down at the laundry again.
Rose was his big fascination. Rose had an evenly figured face. From what he could tell, her facial skin reflected the sun in sparkles sometimes. Her hair was sometimes braided, sometimes in a pony tale, and sometimes in wet curls from a recent shower. She was of average size. Her body was slender and in good enough shape. What really drew him to her was a desire to help her, to show her the world, and to be fascinated by the visionless world that she lived in.
She didn't want to be seen as blind and different. So, she usually tried not to use her cane. Instead, she'd carefully measure distances with her steps and memorize. She'd carefully find the door handle to the kennel. There was only an outside door handle. So, she had to reach through the fence door to push it down. She'd step back into the kennel and repeat until she could find the door handle without seeming to try. Yet, in her head, she carefully counted and measured each step.
He only watched. And, she could not see him.
One sunny afternoon, Rose walked up to the shelter volunteer coordinator, a fulltime staffed position. The coordinator was a woman of small stature. Her head appeared round like a football. The hair was thinned and unkempt. Her face was permanently torn with anguish about the animals' suffering. She wore a thick padded jacket, the city uniform that made her look twice her size.
"Hi, Miss O'Donnell, what can I help today?"
"See, it's just not a good idea to have blind people around here. It gets very busy around here. I don't have time to show you. Find another volunteer and shadow her."
The coordinator barked off her terse response and walked away. Rose's face was controlled and did not let on anything. However, her body was stiff and unresponsive. Jerry could feel in his own body, how Rose was holding herself together. He almost cried, because he had been barked at before. And, he knew the feeling of being shut out.
"Rose, would you be interested in helping socialize Firefly?"
Rose turned her head around. She was unusually clumsy suggesting that the barking by the coordinator had hit her hard. Probably, daring to come as a blind person required a lot of courage and made it that much more sensitive for her. She almost tripped over her converse sneakers. The sneakers gave her a youthful touch. Her mouth remained closed.
"Do you want me to come to you?"
"I prefer to come to you. What kennel number are you in?"
"I am in kennel L3."
Her gait was like that of any twenty year old woman. She confidently walked around the island in the concrete with the bush. She stopped at the kennel and held the door handle. Her face was a bit blotchy and a bit nervous. Her t-shirt was black with a red anatomical heart, the band name 'Deftones', and list of tour dates.
"Hi, I am Jerry. I have seen you around. Oh, sorry I didn't want to offend you."
"You can speak normally around me. You don't have to avoid the word 'see.' My name is Rose. Nice to meet you."
