"Let's GO, Ladies!" I shouted as I closed the cargo door on my new F-100.
"Never seen two women pack so much shit just to go skiing for a weekend," I mused aloud as I made my way to the cab of the truck.
Breckenridge was a good day's drive from East Colorado and I really wanted to get an early start, but Sharon, my girlfriend, Beth's mother, had decided at the last instant that she wanted to come with us.
Beth and I had been dating for almost a month; a truly torrid relationship that had opened my eyes to aspects of sex that I never even knew existed. Last week, she won some sort of radio contest, the prize being a weekend for two at some fancy resort in Breckenridge, and I had been looking forward to hitting the slopes as well as a weekend of ribald debauchery with an incredibly sensuous woman. To say I was chagrined at being chaperoned would be to severely understate the case.
I laid on the horn as I quickly closed the door, allowing the hot air blasting out of the dashboard to bathe me in its delicious warmth.
A few moments later, Beth came dashing across the yard with her mother hot on her heels. They appeared to be having a rather animated discussion, the gist of which I couldn't ascertain over the noise of the diesel and the heater blower, but I would soon learn what it was all about.
"What the hell were you doing?" I asked as Beth slid into the seat next to me.
"Mom was trying to get herself a room at the lodge or even the motel down the street," she replied.
"And?"
"No luck. They are all booked up for the season," she responded with a shrug. "I tried to tell her that it was a lost cause before she even picked up the phone, but she insisted on trying anyway."
"Yeah.... Oh well, at least the skiing will be good," I grumbled as Sharon slid in and closed the door behind her.
"Well, I guess we'll all be staying in the same room," I said as I eased the truck down the slippery, muddy slope that was their driveway.
"Perhaps I'll get lucky and find some single guy with a hard-on that needs a roommate for the weekend," Sharon chuckled.
I missed third gear at that outburst. Flustered, I double-clutched as the gnashing of the synchronizers howled in protest. I reached over and took the cup of coffee from Beth's outstretched hands as I gave Sharon a brief, one eyebrow raised perusal.
"I hope you do, Mom, otherwise it's going to be a long, dry weekend for you."
"Why, whatever do you mean, dear?" Sharon asked coyly.
"No boyfriend, no toys. Like I said, it'll be a dry weekend for you if you don't get lucky. I may be sharing a room with you, Mom, but I am NOT going to share my boyfriend with you and I seriously doubt if they have any porn movies showing in the rooms."
I fought back a cough and swallowed my coffee slowly as we hit the Interstate ramp.
"It's true David won't be there, but I NEVER leave home without my toys. As far as the movies are concerned, why would I want to watch a movie when I'll have a live show going on in the bed right next to me?"
"Mom!!!"
It didn't work that time. I spewed coffee all over the steering wheel.
"What's the matter, dear? I know you two have a hell-uv-a time keeping your hands off each other, so if you want to put on a little show for me I'll be most happy to watch. You wouldn't mind, would you Brian?"
"Uh, well, I guess.... Geez, Sharon, that's a terrible question!" I blurted.
"I suppose you'd be spread out, legs pointing to opposite ends of the compass while you shoved one of you rubber friends into your horny hole, wouldn't you mother dear?" Beth inquired in a wry tone.
"Of course! Being watched is almost as much fun as watching!" Sharon laughed.
The cab grew silent for a few moments. I couldn't help but feel a stirring in my loins as I digested all that had been said. As the silence grew, I turned my head to find both the women regarding me with questioning looks.
"Uh, do the two of you always talk so bluntly to each other about things that most people consider very private?" I asked.
"Brian, when you have two horny, oversexed women living in the same house, after a while there just aren't any secrets. I think we know as much about each other's sexual proclivities as we do about our taste in clothing," Sharon replied.
"I'm sorry, Brian. I guess I should have prepared you for this. Mom can be such a slut..."
"Slut?! People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks, my dear. Besides, just because I love sex doesn't make me a slut. I'm neither promiscuous nor indiscriminate."
"Just horny, huh?" Beth snorted.
"And I suppose you're not?" Sharon rejoined.
"Yeah, I'm horny! All the damn time! But shit, I'm twenty-five years old. I would think a woman in her mid forties would have simmered down by now."
"Don't be ridiculous, Beth. I haven't even reached menopause yet. Just because I have a grown child doesn't mean I'm gonna dry up and sew it shut. I get just as much pleasure from sex now as I did when I was your age. If you ever decided to share Brian with me I would show him a thing or two about experience, things you have yet to learn."
"Well, you can just forget it! Go find yourself your own stud or settle for your rubber toys! You aren't getting ANY of this as long as I have anything to say about it!" Beth huffed as she reached over and cupped my groin, causing me to visibly jump in the seat.
"Whoa, Beth! You're going to cause an accident here," I sputtered as I regained my composure.
"Brian, when you get tired of playing with dolls, come see me and I'll show you what a good time REALLY is," Sharon smirked.
"You do and it'll be the LAST piece of ass you ever get, Brian. I cut it off in your sleep and feed it to the dogs." Beth laughed, but there was a hard glint in her eye that even the refection of the rear-view mirror couldn't disguise.