The Jigsaw Interviews

The Jigsaw Interviews

by Doctor Asparagus

It is a hot Thursday in August.

It's also 10.45am, and I am on my way to a day of interviews, with a company who are offering potential funding for new business start-ups.

Having travelled into the city by train, it's a short walk to 'Jigsaw Ltd -

piecing business together.'

Headquartered in a modern 15 storey building, that clearly said 'success.' An expensive facade, with water features and precisely manicured lawns to the front and sides. As if the name wasn't catchy enough, a huge gold and silver jigsaw piece, took centre stage, on the front of the building. It was fixed to the wall, just above the double height entrance and I had no doubt it would be illuminated in the evenings and look fabulous.

It all felt a little daunting, as the lawns passed me by on both sides, on my journey down the wide neatly brick weaved pathway, into the lions' mouth. I had some great ideas for my one-man business but, could certainly use a cash boost.

I meet the lovely Neve, as we both approach the building. We just have time for the briefest of introductions, before entering the enormous steel and glass revolving doors that announce us into the expansive reception foyer.

She is small, curvy, attractive and chatty. The kind of chatty that makes you marvel at how easy, the conversation flows between you and leaves you wondering how it is, that you have never actually met before. But then, it is a big old world! Her mane of long chestnut coloured hair, flows out behind her in the warm summer breeze.

THE SETUP

At exactly the right time, we both sign in at the front desk. A young, immaculately dressed blonde, with short pixie cropped hair, smiles confidently up at us. Her badge reveals to us unashamedly, that her name is Dominique. She directs us to a seated waiting area, deeper in the building. Despite the fact, there are many seats in there, most of them seem to have already been taken. I would estimate there must be around a hundred or so delegates already here. All more than a little anxious, I would think.

I know I was.

We quickly find a small group of chairs that have not, yet got any bottoms pressed into them, and sit down together. Still chatting.

We look around, and Neve spots someone familiar, seated at a nearby table. As is often the case in these bizarre scenarios, he looks up at just that moment and meets her eyes, almost as if an invisible spiritual advisor, has just whispered the suggestion to him in his ear. She gives a friendly wave and mouths the word 'Hi.' He obviously finds it a pleasant exchange, as he stands up and begins meandering his way through the delegates to reach us. She explains that they were workmates at a previous company. He arrives and she does the introductions. Apparently, his name is Phil. He sits down next to her.

The conversation continues to flow easily between the three of us, with Phil telling us how he has been made redundant and is now looking for a new direction. He's a pleasant guy, a little older than me.

Everyone is dressed in smart casuals, for these informal assessments. Phil is sporting navy jeans and a light green T shirt. For me, it's a pair of denim shorts and a black Polo top. Neve has also gone with shorts. Hers are light cotton, in summer blue, baggy on the legs, but beautifully taut across her rear, with an off the shoulder cream fitted top. It's a beautiful sunny afternoon, and I suddenly become aware that she has not bothered to wear a bra. As she twists in her chair to face Phil for a second, I can see two very erect nipples, pointing straight at him. I steal a quick glance at his face, which is animated in his story telling. He hasn't even noticed that he is directly in her firing line.

We have yet to be enlightened about the finer details of the day, but we do understand that we will be attending a series of interviews with Jigsaw representatives, who are specialised in various departments, like Finance, Human Resources, Logistics and Property Development, to assess our eligibility for the funding.

We are told that the interviews are being held on floor 15. In order to better manage the number of delegates, we will be asked to go up there in smaller groups. The first group of around 20 or so people, are shown to the elevators, in the main lobby. We learn that there is also a coffee lounge on level 15 and that we can relax in there, until we are called in.

So, we carry on talking about our various plans and schemes. It's very hot outside, but the air conditioning in the building is being very efficient and doing a wonderful job of keeping the three of us, and Neve's nipples nice and cool. Time passes by easily.

We are finally included in the next group, and we head up to the cafe. Neve and Phil order latte's, whilst I opt for a chilled Apple juice, having noticed that the Chardonnay family are not on offer!

As we settle into our drinks, an assistant comes into the lounge and begins handing out paperwork to the delegates. There is an agenda for the day ahead, and quite a few questionnaires for each of us to fill out. We quickly speed read them and are surprised to find the day also contains a medical examination.

After 30 or so minutes, we finally get called through..... here we go! The three of us spend the whole afternoon together, moving in and out of different rooms, undertaking the numerous interviews, filling out the endless required forms, but always meeting up again afterwards, to continue chatting about our respective new business ideas, and life in general.

More time drifts by, and we are almost done with the departmental interviews. Phil is in his last one now. Lots of delegates have completed their day and left. It's now time for us, to head to floor 9, for the medical tests. Neve and I are shown into Room 42, along with 4 other delegates, to await being called.

The room is laid out as a break-out area, with clusters of seating for small groups of people. Each cluster comprising of two comfy black settees facing each other over a low level smoked-glass coffee table. There are 6 of these in the room. We find a spare cluster and sit down on a settee, facing each other. The other group of 4 delegates are sitting several clusters away, currently engaged in their own demons, no doubt trying to sort themselves out for the medicals.

PHIL'S MASSAGE

Neve and I are busy filling out our medical interview questionnaires. The door opens and Phil is shown in. He looks a little bit harassed and spotting us, walks straight over and sits down next to her. He says he is feeling a little stressed out at just how particular and probing, their questions are, and wishes he had had a massage before coming here. Neve says she doesn't mind rubbing his shoulders a little if he thinks it would help. He is looking hugely nervous and doubtful. His breathing shallow and rapid. 'I don't think anything will calm my head down at the moment but thank you for your kind offer."

She lets out a long sigh, and puts her paperwork and pen, down on the table. With a quick glance behind her, to check that the other delegates are occupied, she grabs the hem of her top and teasingly lifts the front up to her shoulders. I was right, she is not wearing a bra, and a pair of magnificent breasts drop into view. Fulsome and capped with the most brilliant set of super erect rosy nipples. She is definitely a free spirit!

Phil's shocked expression says it all. A skewed smile appears on his lips. He breathes in deeply, but can only say one word in response, "Fuck!"

"That's better", says Neve. "Now let's try that massage."

As I attempt to make sense of the medical questionnaire, they try to work out the optimum position for her to administer her massage... him kneeling on the floor or her standing up behind him at the back of the settee. With none of them really working, Neve suggests she kneel on the settee and he sits on the edge of it, between her legs, that way she will be behind him and can work unhindered on his shoulders. She climbs up into position and he sits in front of her, a little stiffly.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she tells him to just breathe and relax. He breathes in deeply, 2 or 3 times, as instructed, and says it feels better. She begins to rub and knead his stress away, I continue assessing myself, on paper. He is slowly beginning to slump backwards into her, and at one point, I look up to comment on how much detail they are asking for on these forms, to see that Phil has now completely relaxed back on her. Leaning fully against her chest. His head is between her sizeable breasts, which now look like they are resting on his shoulders. His breathing is much calmer, although he probably can't hear much!

In this position, she can't really massage his neck area. His eyes are closed, and he looks very much at peace. So instead, she is gently stroking his front, absentmindedly just running her hands up and around his chest, then down over his belly. She can only keep repeating the same movement. Occasionally chatting to me, quietly about the day, I glance up and see that she is now concentrating so much on something that has caught her attention, through the window, she is unaware that her fingers have come to a rest, right on Phil's crotch! They are both completely oblivious.... he is fast asleep.

After several mins, Phil opens his eyes. Her hands are now back by her sides. He looks a lot more chilled and says so. Moving back to his own space on the couch, next to her, we crack on with the endless paperwork.

THE LOCKER ROOM

According to the agenda, the first test is called 'Weights & Measures.' The other 4 delegates have all been called through and have now left, leaving just the 3 of us in room 42. They have explained to us that there are toilets and a shower, if required, just through the door to the locker room, on the back wall. On the form, it says when called, we are to go in there and get changed, in readiness for the first test.

The main door suddenly opens, and a slightly harassed looking nurse, sticks her head in, apologising for the lateness of the afternoon and thanking us for our patience. She tells us we can now proceed to the locker room, and that she will meet us in the medical suite, in a minute or two. With that, she closes the door and is gone.

The form instructs us to strip down to our underwear, then proceed straight through into the medical suite. As we all enter the locker room. Phil and I pick lockers on the same wall. Behind us, we can hear Neve's "Bugger!" I ask her what's up. She says she is not wearing any underwear on top and only a tiny thong on the bottom. We both tell her not to worry about that, these people are professional medics. They have been doing these tests all day and given the amount of delegates that have literally been through their hands, there is nothing they have not already seen.

She sighs in resigned agreement and pulls her top up over her head. For the second time today, she displays her awesome breasts. I wonder if perhaps those nipples are permanently erect. She then unbuttons her shorts and wiggling her hips, drops the garment to the floor, before stepping out of them, revealing a very shapely bottom. She takes another minute to pack her things into her locker, then turns towards a nearby door, marked 'Medical Suites'.

Phil and I, having stripped down to our boxers, both watch her walk out of the locker room, a little transfixed by her stunning backside, swaying from side to side like a fine Swiss clock. She opens the door confidently and steps through it. I had to admit, she looked good, with just a tiny hint of white thong, nestling between her full, shapely buttocks.

We follow along behind her and greeted by Nurse Fluster, are shown into different rooms. The tests are fairly routine and no problem at all. The room I am in is small, with no windows and I assume both Neve and Phil are in similar rooms. In my underwear, I am weighed, and my height and BP are taken. Before heading back to Room 42, a Nurse tells me not to bother getting dressed, as they are not yet finished and hands me a specimen bottle, saying that for the next test, they will require a sperm sample. Very thorough, I thought!

BUM CREAM

I get back into the room, at the same time as Phil. Neve is already in there. It seems we are the only remaining delegates, with all other hopefuls apparently having left for the day. She is standing there with just a towel clutched tightly around her. She is pacing the room and looking very anxious.

She has a tube of something in her hand. We sit down (Phil next to Neve's space of course). I ask her why she looks so uncomfortable. She explains that part of her tests included an anal examination, but the nurse said she was so nervous, they couldn't do it! They sent her out with a tube of muscle relaxant cream to apply to her bottom, and told her to try and calm herself, for a few minutes. My first thought was... 'I never got an anal examination.......Bloody Hell, is that what's coming next!!'

Neve says she is even more nervous about applying the cream, as she has just had nail extensions done. We ask her how she is supposed to use it, and she says all the nurse said to her was to put some on her finger and rub it around her bum hole.

Just as I was about to offer to help, Phil says he has used stuff like that before and wouldn't mind helping her out, if that was ok. Neve's face lifts a little at hearing this, and handing him the tube, she says that would be great, as she really doesn't want to break a nail. I am trying to get the forms completed, but I hear Neve say "How do we do this then? What's the best position for me to stand in?"

Phil suggests just standing in front of him as he sits on the settee. She goes over to him and straddles his feet, turning to face me and clutching her towel tightly around her, she presents her bottom to Phil. He undoes the cap on the tube and squirts a small glob of lotion onto his fingers. Putting the tube down on the coffee table in front of Neve, he lifts her towel, above her waist, exposing her tiny white thong.

I glance up and note that the thong has a transparent panel at the front, and that she appears to have undertaken a little 'woman-scaping,' as her genital area is completely smooth and hairless. Holding the towel up with one hand, he uses a spare finger (not prepped with bum cream) on his other hand and hooks a finger around the little white string of her underwear, stretched tightly between those pronounced bum cheeks, like dental floss. Pulling it gently to one side, he attempts to apply the lotion. But her full buttock centurions are not allowing him access to her little secret hole that easily. Attempting the move several times, he finally gives up, and says, "Let's try something else."

He suggests that she lie face down on the settee. She climbs up and stretches out before us, as if settling down on a sun-drenched beach. He lifts the towel up and tries again. This time it's a little easier, but ideally, he needs to find a way to keep her arse cheeks parted before he can administer the cream.

"I have an idea," he says. "Get up on your knees and rest your elbows on the arm of the settee!" She complies, happy to try anything to help move the situation forward. Letting go of the towel. She lays it out beneath her, then positions herself on top of it, bottom thrust back towards Phil, elbows resting on the black leather arms. Her large breasts, now hanging freely beneath her.

"This is much better," declares Phil. He doesn't even bother now trying to hold her thong to one side, he simply grabs it and pulls it down to her knees, then over her ankles and off...throwing it onto the coffee table. Placing his dry hand on one of her sculptured bum cheeks, he pulls it to one side. Her tight little anus and vagina are now exposed. I think I can see a faint 'glistening' on her lips, or it might just be the light.

Naked now, with her little brown ring now only a few inches from his nose, Phil uses his, still creamed up fingers, to begin smearing it all around her hole. After a minute or so, the area between her bum cheeks, looks all shiny and slippery. He pauses, with the tip of his little finger right against her anus.

He reaches down with his free hand and picks up the tube of cream. Reading from the instructions printed on it, he relays that it should be applied internally too, if possible.

"Are you ok with that Neve?"

"If that's what it says Phil, yes."

He exerts a slight pressure. Pushing against the unforgiving ring of muscle.

"My my," he says to her, "You are very tight back here. I can't even push the tip of my little finger in."

She gets that worried look back on her face and moans that she will surely fail the test because of this and will not get the funding for her new venture!

"Right, it's my turn to help you now," Phil says to her. He tells her to take a deep breath, hold it for 3 seconds, then exhale slowly, and to repeat it several times.

"Also," he says, "try to relax;" (touché, - she is now getting a taste of her own medicine).

He waits patiently, while she tries to comply with his instructions. After a few long slow breaths, he asks how she feels.

"A little better, thank you," she responds. As she is saying this, he gently pushes his little finger into her bottom, up to the first knuckle joint. I thought it actually slid in quite easily. They both seem a bit surprised. She obviously feels it and says, "Is that your little finger?"

Phil says it was. With a wry smile, she says that she didn't think that would be big enough, because the Dr showed her the exact instrument he would be using for the anal exam, and it was a lot bigger than a little finger!

Phil, trying to be ever helpful, says "Ok, stay calm." Withdrawing his little finger completely from inside her, he replaces it with his much longer and slightly thicker index digit. Gently, he begins to push into her again. This time, when he gets up to the first knuckle, he keeps pushing. Soon it appears to be all the way in. He asks her if she can feel it.

"Yes" she says, "but it feels ok."

"Good," he replies. "You are starting to relax."

He begins to slowly move his long finger, in and out of her. He pushes it so far into her bottom, that he cannot go any deeper. "How about now?" he asks.

"I can't really feel which finger you are using, but it doesn't really hurt. I wonder if there is some anesthetic in the cream too?"

During the sharing of this strange, tense and yet kind of cool day, we have become friends and we all want to see each other succeed. Phil starts to pump his finger in and out of her anus a little faster. Now that she is a little more relaxed, he is trying to get her to loosen up. Her heavy breasts are jiggling back and forward with the motion and her stiff nipples are just rubbing on the white towel.

With one or two more pumps, he withdraws his finger completely from her backside, and rising from the sofa, heads to toward the locker room to wash the cream off his hands.

"I think you will be fine now," he calls over his shoulder.

"Thank you, Phil," she replies.

SPERM SAMPLES

"Bugger," Phil says, "The sperm samples! Do we have to do it here?"

"I don't think it matters where exactly you do it, so long as you have something to show for your efforts." Neve says.

Phil and I pick up our bottles and head for the locker room, followed by a very naked Neve, having left her towel on the settee. Her nipples, of course, are leading the way!

She asks if we need any help, adding, it will probably be faster. I say, "Thank you and you're more than likely right."