(A good friend of mine caught his brother in a lie. The question is, did his wife and girlfriend catch him in that same lie? I wonder. Oh well, only one way to find out I suppose.)
"Have you told her yet?"
Tom fidgeted with his tie, pretending not to hear his brother James.
Tom then wiped some lint off his jacket and pondered over whether or not he was in the mood to talk about it. He decided he wasn't.
Jenny was the one good thing that had happened to him for as long as he could remember. He wasn't about to let the truth get in the way of their fledging relationship.
"You can pretend you don't hear me all you want. But I know your hearing is just fine!"
Tom stroked his fingers through his wavy brown hair. Then he glanced at the blue eyes in the mirror that Jenny had once referred to as 'alluring and purposeful.'
James threw up his arms in frustration. "You don't wanna talk about it? Fine, just say you don't wanna talk about it, but this silent treatment is annoying. What a beautiful and intelligent woman like Jenny sees in a crumb like you, I'll never understand."
"So now I'm a crumb just because I'm dating someone nice, is that it?"
"No, you're a crumb because you're withholding information from her that may be vital to her deciding whether or not she wants to keep seeing you."
"I think she's falling for me."
"And that is precisely my point. She is falling for you, only she thinks you're divorced, not merely separated."
"Same thing."
"The hell it is. Both things are as far from the east is to the west that you can possibly get."
"I don't see how. I never intend on getting back with Susan."
"Yeah, but Susan has said she wants to get back with you."
"Look, she fucked off on me in the middle of our marriage so she could going running off to be with her former millionaire boyfriend. They were together for a whole six months, jet setting around the world to different exotic places, and now, when she found out he was cheating on her, and that he was only using her for sex, she suddenly kicks him to the curb and is desperate for me to take her back. I went through six months of hell, trying to heal and crying my eyes out. But guess what? I'm over her now, and I've moved on. My lawyer has given her divorce papers."
"Yeah, but is she gonna sign them?"
"Whether she does or whether she doesn't, it makes absolutely no fucking difference. My lawyer says that since she was the one to abandon the marriage and that she did so committing adultery, her financial claim in the divorce will be minimal. Thank God we didn't have any children together."
"So there's no chance whatsoever of you giving Susan a second chance?"
"What's the matter with you? You brain dead? I just finished saying I've moved onto Jenny."
James studied him the way a drunk studied an empty wine bottle. Nothing of any value left.
"You've moved onto Jenny, and Jenny is moving onto you, only Susan is moving back to you and the least you could do is warn Jenny that there is baggage floating around out there that could come back to bite her on her pretty black ass."
"I hardly think that her pretty ass being black has anything to do with it."
"The hell it doesn't. Black women are sensitive about competing with a white woman for their man and vice versa. Having some half deranged white bitchy ex suddenly threatening an unsuspecting black girlfriend over stealing her husband might not go down so well with Jenny. Sooner or later Susan is gonna know who your new girl is, and she is going to make sure she makes Jenny's life hell while she tries sabotages your relationship with her in a hurry."
"I've already told Susan to fuck off in a dozen different ways. I'm sure she gets the message."
"If she gets the message, then why is she clogging up your voice mail with repeated pleas to get back together, and why is she knocking at my damn door at all hours of the day and night? Ever since I agreed to let you move in with me, your ex has been harassing the shit out of me. I keep telling her you're not interested and she keeps telling me to give you all kinds of stupid messages. I warned her that I was going to get a restraining order against her but she just won't listen."
"She'll go away eventually if you and I keep on ignoring her."
"Maybe, but in the meantime it's me she's harassing because I'm your brother and you are staying with me. I don't know why the hell you couldn't have just kept your damn townhome. Why sell it?"
"Because Susan kept showing up there, that's why. And she was using it as leverage to keep contacting me with legal papers about separation of assets. This way the damn property is already sold, and her lawyer has her half sitting in a bank account for her. I've already given her one of our two cars and split our savings account down the middle. My lawyer says she has no reason to bother me anymore."
"That's why she's bothering me, asshole, cause she can't bother you, and quite frankly, I'm getting a little sick of it."
"You threatened to get a restraining order, so go get one."
"First of all, there are countless hours to waist filling out paperwork in triplicate, then I have to testify to show cause, then I have to pay twenty-seven hundred dollars. I don't have that kind of money to waist."
"I'll give you the money."
"I don't want your money. If I get a restraining order against Susan coming to my home, then she'll just start showing up at my work or at the gym, asking me to get you to call her. You need to tell Jenny about Susan so it won't come as a complete shock when Jenny is confronted by her one day."
"Jenny's not gonna know about her."
"The hell she isn't. I heard one of the messages on my voicemail, asking, and I quote, 'who that black bitch was you were having coffee with.' She is stalking you, and she is obsessed with you, and it is making my life very uncomfortable. Sooner or later Susan is going to follow Jenny home or to work and start harassing her as well. At least if you tell Jenny about her, then she can brace herself for the worse."
"And if Jenny decides she doesn't want to be with me because I'm not actually divorced like I said, but merely separated? I can't afford to lose her. Susan will go away. The longer I ignore her is the-"
"...the longer she is going to keep on bothering me! We both know that. And you pretending it isn't so, isn't going to make it any less real. But you're very unfair in not telling Jenny about it. You're waiting until her heart falls for you before saying anything, trying to get her hooked on you first, and that just isn't fair."