I galloped around the herd sizing it up with the experienced eye of a lifelong cattle driver. Satisfied with my primitive inventory, I headed back to camp where my three companions waited for me. I was always the first in the saddle in the morning and the last back to camp at night. Being a woman working with men in a man's job meant that I had to work extra hard to gain my share.
The men I traveled with now treated me fairly, which was why I was still with them after three years, but I had worked with crews in the past that had slighted me my pay and other things as well. I had gotten lucky one winter when I heard about a crew looking for an extra hand and met Boss and his men Jacob and David.
All three were good men who worked their share and didn't taunt me. Boss was a mature man with dark hair and frosty wings of gray at his temples. It was hard to pin down his age exactly and we all deferred to him because it was his herd and his crew, but also because his quiet commanding presence demanded nothing less. Jacob was a slight man who was nonetheless strong and capable. He was intelligent and an exceptional horseman. He was good with the cows too, he attended all the birthings of the calves and we had lost no calves or cows since I had started with them. David on the other hand was a big man. Not fat at all, but burly like a blacksmith and he always had to cut the sleeves from his shirts to accommodate his large arms. He was a happy man who found pleasure many places and was slow to anger.
When I reached the camp, the three men had already finished supper and the coffee was still brewing. We ate and talked some, but we were all tired and we went to our bed rolls early. This night I felt a presence near me and a hand touched my shoulder. I turned to see Jacob looking down at me. I smiled and reached my hand up to his face and he bent in to kiss me. I picked up my blanket and we moved away from the fire to a place where we could spend the night alone.
I had always granted sexual favors to the men in the crews I was working with because I had learned that if I didn't give them, they would be forced upon me and when we were in the wilderness I could get no help. I never felt any danger from this crew and in the beginning, it was merely habit, but they had gotten used to it and I didn't mind, so I had lain with David and with Jacob on many nights and, on a few occasions, both at once.
Tonight I spent with Jacob who was an intense lover. David was a quiet and powerful lover. I had never spent a night with Boss. He knew what we did and never said anything about it. I never actually offered myself to him because it made me feel shameful somehow. Something that I had never felt before. It had always been a matter of practicality.
The next day, we prepared to move on. We pulled up camp and loaded the wagon. We stopped at dusk and began to pitch camp. It soon became apparent however, that we didn't have everything. We were missing the box with most of the food in it. Boss rarely got angry, but now he was livid.
"Can't I leave you sons-of-bitches alone to do anythin' right?" He bellowed at us. "You boys wander around lettin' yerselves get distracted" at this he turned his head to look right at me. Again I felt the shame roll over me. "Y'all are gonna go back and get that godammed box tonight and bring it back here!" we all got up and went to saddle our horses because we all knew that Boss meant NOW.
"Not you." Boss pointed right at me. I was surprised and exchanged glances with Jacob and David. They silently mounted their horses and left. I stood where I was until the other two men were out of sight. Then I looked at Boss. His expression was unreadable, but I knew that I was about to be kicked off the crew and that he had sent the men away to keep them from interfering. I would be gone before they returned and the best job I ever had would be gone. Boss looked at me for a moment then turned away. He took off his coat and laid it over his saddle and dropped his hat over that.
