In this instalment, I reveal more about Rob's background and how I came to appreciate that when making love, it is sometimes better to give than to receive.
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In Part 1, I tell how my classmate Megan first introduced me to her brother Rob. Megan was part of my "social circle" of second year meds students, but I had never really spent any time with her in a one on one setting. Of his immediate family, Megan was the only one Rob was disposed to say anything about, and only to acknowledge that they had not been close growing up. When I had suggested more than once in the nearly four months since we met that the three of us get together, Rob had politely but firmly discouraged such a gathering. So, I was curious at the end of classes one Friday afternoon to be approached by Megan and invited to have a glass of wine with her at the student union pub.
"I want to tell you how very pleased I am that you and Robert are dating. I have never known him to be so happy and fulfilled until you two became a couple."
"Why is that I asked?" as we sat in a quiet corner sipping our wine. "He never talks much about his family, and I can hardly pry anything about you and your parents from him."
Instead of responding, Megan looked away. Her expression and body language suggested that my question had provoked a difficult decision, and her sigh as she returned to look at me put me on guard.
"I don't know where to begin. Although I was only three years old when Rob was born, I feel responsible in part for the cruel life he has had to lead at the expense of my parents. Rob is only my half-brother. Our mother is an occupational therapist, who met my dad while he was completing his residency in surgery. When Robert was born, it was a very joyous moment for my dad, because after two daughters, he now had a son. My Mother however didn't seem nearly as affectionate with Robert as she was with me and our older sister. I hardly remember when things started to change - I was about six, Rob close to three. Suddenly dad would have nothing to do with him. Dad wasn't cruel, but he was occasionally mean and totally indifferent to Robert."
When Megan started to hesitate, as if she feared she had said too much, I pressed her to know the whole story. It seems a blood test had revealed that Megan's father was not Robert's father as well. His mother had reconnected with her first love from her teenage years, and had a brief affair that resulted in Rob. Her morning sickness had exposed her pregnancy to her doctor husband, so there was no opportunity to rid herself of the fetus.
"While my dad forgave my mother, he could not tolerate the constant reminder that Rob was not his own. Robert was ignored, and rather than protecting Robert, my mother wanted to protect her marriage, so Robert became this "second class" child. When he was eight years of age, he was shipped away to a boarding school outside of Toronto where he was bullied and unloved. Our maternal grandfather was outraged, but he could not help Rob because he was not his guardian. But Grandpa insisted that Robert spend school holidays and summer break living with him."
I confess I found this tale quite unbelievable, and said as much to Megan. It was how bastard children had been treated in Georgian and Victorian England, if not before that time as well. All I could say in response to Megan was to express my disbelief.
"Yes, I agree, it does sound too incredible to be true," Megan said. "There is no excuse for such cruelty. I hardly saw anything of Rob after I was eleven until last fall when Robert was persuaded by Grandpa and me to go our law school here. Has Robert not told you of any of this?"
"No. He only speaks of your grandfather, and when he does so, it is with such love and affection. I could see how they became so close if Rob spent his school vacations with him."
"Oh, he did a lot more than that," Megan said. "When Robert came home from school in the summer he turned thirteen, Grandpa had apparently had enough. He threatened to expose my parents by suing them to have the Court appoint him as Robert's guardian. My parents quickly agreed to give up a son they refused to love, so Robert was gone from our lives. However, it caused a huge breach between my immediate family and Grandpa. While I continued to receive large cash gifts for birthdays, Christmas and graduations from my grandfather, I was effectively completely cut off from him."
"How did you come to connect with Rob then?" I asked.
"I forced myself back into our grandfather's life during my undergrad, making him see that I was not the problem, and that I wanted to know the baby brother I had adored as a child. I would secretly come for the odd dinner at Grandpa's without telling my parents so that Robert and I could come to know each other again. We have grown somewhat closer, but not as close as I would wish. When I came to Edmonton for first year meds, I convinced Robert to get out of Toronto and apply for the law school here. The rest is history."
I sat back, looking at Megan with this sad, regretful expression on her face, just trying to process what she had told me.
"Can I ask you one thing about your relationship with my brother, if it is not too private?" When I nodded my assent, Megan continued, "Is Robert distant in your relationship, or is he very affectionate, touching you, looking for hugs and physical contact a lot of the time?"
"He is very physically affectionate," I said with some emphasis. "Why do you ask?"
"I was curious. He is physically distant with everyone else, almost a "hug free zone. He has spent almost his entire life without ever knowing the reassurance and love that comes with hugs and physical familiarity. I suspect he is starved for physical love. I am so happy that he has finally found it with you Jennifer."
Suddenly, I understood so much about the dynamic of my relationship with Rob, and how I could try to heal the man I had come to love so very much.
*********
Rob had promised to pick me up at five o'clock that evening to spend the weekend with him. I had wanted a couple of hours alone for the remainder of the afternoon to think about what I had learned about Rob. One thing I had already figured out is that he had one fetish that was kind of fun - he loved the feel of pantyhose over my bare ass.
