This story is dedicated to my best friend Cal
The night was wet. Large drops of rain fell and washed over his car. The wipers swept back and forth in a simple rhythm almost mesmerising me. I snuggled into the car seat as it wrapped its protective arms around me. It had been a wonderful day.
He stopped the car in front of the hotel and turned off the engine. There was a sudden hush as if the world came to a halt. We both knew where we were going to next.. It was our time of parting, our time of saying goodbye had come.
Our warm breath and the chill outside helped the condension in the air slowly to slowly steam the windshield. No one could see us from outside we became invisible inside the warm closeness of the car.
I lit a last cigarette ignoring his disapproving gaze. Pulling the strong searing smoke down into my lungs giving me the courage to say what I needed to say.
"You have shown me all the attractions of your town and all the sites it has to offer.. We have had a marvellous dinner," I paused in thoughts while the exciting events of the last days passed my mind again. "We have had mind teasing conversations, you treated me like a princess, like a queen, I just want simply to say 'Thank you' my dear."
A weak fleeting smile swept over his face. I guessed he smiled again because of my accent.
"I'm very pleased that you had some fun and you enjoyed it. Believe me I had a great deal of fun too. I have never met such a woman like you," he said sincerely.
Again we fell silent. Lost in our own thoughts.
I had learned the last few days to take his compliments as truthful. I had to admit I'd loved being complimented by him and regardless of my past he had always treated me like a lady. Just now it became clear to me how badly I'd missed that kind of treatment.
He had given me a new experience. All the 'compliments' I'd gotten in the past had been nothing else but lies.
He had taught me a quite new feeling, the value of true compliments and the value of myself, respect and acceptance, and we had been like old friends, good and close friends. For that I loved him.
The glow from the hotels lights was reflecting from our faces.
I was convinced we were thinking the same things.
I hated the thought of going back into the loneliness of my anonymous hotel room, and he wanted to stay with me, wanted to hang on to and extend these last moments as long as possible. He didn't want to leave me now. Perhaps he hated that as much as I did, hating the thought of parting.
We really didn't want to part,. Something like a magic ribbon held us together. Were we feeling the same things? The mystery of two soul's attraction? Were we bound together by arcane witchcraft?
Why was it so difficult to say? A feeling of thoughtful sadness slowly conquered my mind. My plane would lift off tomorrow morning, carrying me so far away. Would I ever see him again? Would I ever receive this treatment from another man? Damn, why was he married?
A secret tear slowly fell from my eye.
I turned my face away hiding I pretended to be looking through the opaque, misted over side window. The tear moved slowly across my cheek leaving behind its wet glistening trace of sorrow.
"Shannen, why you are weeping? Did I say or do anything wrong?" he caught me.
"No, you didn't," I sobbed, "you did everything right, don't worry."
"What's the matter, then?" he asked me anxiously.
I kept silent. Don't men ever understand?
"It's so unfair…." I said.
"What?" he replied.
"That we have to part, now."
Silently, he nodded in agreement.
Time passed again. Other people came and went. Cars swooshed by on the wet pavement. Lights dimmed. A church clock was tolling in the distance. 'Midnight', I counted the bells lonely ring.
"It's very hard to say 'goodbye' to you," he said thoughtfully, "its like a I'm losing a part of myself."
I nodded my head in agreement.
I reached out and found his hand. One last time I wanted to feel his power and his presence. My heart was pounding.
What should I do? I was afraid I would become unhappy again. Just as in all my past relationships.
What could I do to keep my heart from being broken again?
Then I turned my head back to him, my face now moving close to him. I hesitated, then I shut my eyes, offered my mouth. Parting my lips, ready for a 'goodbye kiss'. I felt his hands touching my face, then his lips softly upon mine.
First tender, then going impatient and over eager.
Our kiss of friendship started turning to passion.
Tongue's tips met, played, teasing and tasting each other.
His hands were moving over me now.
I pushed him back.
He looked at me, a frightened look in his eyes.
"We shouldn't do it," I told him cool headed.
"What, kissing?" he asked.
"I said 'it', not 'that'. Listen to me carefully!" I smiled back to show that I wasn't angry.
His face went to a question mark. Then he got it.
"Shannen," he stuttered, "I never wanted…." He looked quite unhappy. "That was never my intention."
"Sometimes you are a little liar, aren't you?" If I could have seen his face more clearly, I bet he blushed. "We shall become very, very unhappy, my dear, if we…" I whispered sadly.
His mind was visible working. Then he nodded slowly in agreement. For a long time we faced each other, in mute conversation.
"You are a wise woman, Shannen." He said thoughtfully at last.
But our eyes kept talking iridescently.
I looked deeply into his eyes as he did in mine. What were my eyes saying? What were his eyes telling me?
I saw his yearning and his pain of abstaining. I was longing for him too.
A tear appeared and slowly slid down his face.
"You are right, Shannen," he said, "if we" he stuttered, "if we would do 'it', I'll become addicted, addicted to you. Really, you are addictive, Shannen. And I know this would break my heart."
"Mine too…" I whispered, lost in thought, both now in tears. But neither of us were ready to leave the closeness of car.
He handed me a handkerchief.
I dried my face.
Time passed.
I made my decision.
I took a deep breath. "Would you like to…" I broke the silence, when he started at same time. "Would you like if I…"
We smiled.
"You first." I said.
"No, you, ladies first. What you wanted to say?" Cole replied
I gulped.
"Would you like to have a last drink with me?"
There it was. It was out. The magic question was spoken. A smile of salvation rushed to his face.
