"Crap. That was Judi on the phone." Judi and my girlfriend Leigh had made plans to go out, but it seemed there was a problem and the plans had changed. "Judi invited me to an all male review tonight, but something has come up and she can't go. Now I'm half way ready to go out and I was really looking forward to it."
"So finish getting dressed and I'll take you out," I volunteer. We go out a lot and I always love our time together. We have incredible fun no matter where we end up.
"Uh... well, I was really looking forward to the male review. I doubt you'd find it to be as fun and interesting as Judi, but I don't want to go alone and everyone is busy. Would you really go with me? I don't want you getting angry or jealous -- that would really spoil the fun. Besides, you might learn some new moves you can do for me when we get home AND I'm sure you'll reap the benefits of me getting all revved up at the club," she teased.
I wasn't sure how badly she wanted me to go with her, but it was obvious that she wanted to go. If the tickets hadn't been purchased she might have rescheduled, but she hates it when tickets go unused. I have always been comfortable with my sexuality and I had no problem going. I thought it might be interesting to see what women do and what they are like at their version of a strip club. So, to Leigh's relief I replied, "Sure, I could always use a few new moves."
We went out for a very nice dinner and Leigh seemed to be a bit anxious. I noticed because she'd had her typical couple of drinks with dinner, but she'd also had a few more. After dinner we seemed to linger at the table. I guess Leigh was a bit nervous about the evening. Whatever the reason, the longer we delayed, the more she drank. Finally she was ready -- or perhaps sufficiently plowed -- but we were headed for the club.
The club was filled with women of every size, shape, age, color, and culture, but I didn't see another male patron in the place. I was the only guy in the audience, and we were the only couple. If you haven't been to a club as a couple, it's a fun and strange experience. You will be noticed. The patrons, the dancers, and the service people all seem to spend a little more time with you, give you more attention, and better service. This club was no different. I could see the heads turn and the eyes fall on us as we were led to our table.
The first dancer came out dressed like a cop. He was a well built guy in his mid 20's with red hair. He quickly shed his outfit and danced around the room in a thong. The scene was a riot. The women hooted, hollered and whistled as he danced. He moved from one woman to the next and ground and danced with many of them. Eventually he made his way around to our table.
As "the cop" danced for my girlfriend the crowd cheered him on. There were whistles and lots of laughter and cheering.
The dancer turned my girlfriend around and stood behind her. He grabbed her hips and positioned her so she was bent over at the waist with her head towards my lap and her ass facing him. He began thrusting against her as he simulated fucking her while her head rested on my fully clothed cock.
The DJ played it up and all the women showed their approval with a roar of hoots and hollering. They all yelled and screamed encouragement for the well built dancer and me to pretend to double team my girlfriend.
After a few moments the dancer backed away from my girlfriend. She handed him a hand full of singles. The dancer leaned in and kissed my girlfriend on the cheek just as he did all the women he visited.
Then it was my turn.
I'm a straight guy -- not mostly straight or not part time straight. I'm not a closet bi-sexual and I'm not a latent homosexual. I'm a straight guy that loves women. Men have never been any form of an attraction for me so having a nice looking guy in a thong dancing inches in front of me was kind of a weird moment in my life. I tried to smile and I waited patiently for him to finish so I could tip him and let him move on.
After a few seconds of dancing he stepped back and pulled the elastic of his thong out so I could slip in my tip money. As I reached out he turned towards my hand and he let the thong close over my hand. Once again the women in the place went wild with noise. I released the ones, withdrew my hand, and leaned back in my chair. "Officer G-string" had a beaming smile on his face as he gestured for the women to show their approval. They responded with even louder cheering. Then he moved on to the next table. I'm sure I looked like I'd just eaten a bug. However, Leigh was laughing so hard I thought she might need oxygen. All I could do was shake my head.
Well, at least he didn't kiss me.
A few more dancers made their rounds. They would stop at the table, shake their junk, take their tips and move on. I made sure Leigh had plenty of tip money and I made sure her drink was always full. She seemed to enjoy her evening.
The next dancer was a matador -- cape and all. It didn't take him long to lose the costume and get down to his gold sequin thong. Like the others he began visiting the tables and racking up the tips. At some of the tables he would disappear under the cape with a lady from that table. You could see the outline of their heads moving very closely together. The audience was to assume that he was giving away passionate kisses beneath the cape -- which he might well have done.
One of the women sitting near Leigh leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Leigh leaned back and said something back to her. Then another did the same and a third did it too. Each time Leigh would laugh and respond accompanied by a shoulder shrug, shake of her head or, a nod. The level of noise made it impossible for me to hear anything other than the music and the crowd.
I leaned over to ask Leigh what was up. She leaned over to listen to my question. At that same moment "El Matador" arrived at our table, draped the cape over both of us, and thrust his sequin thong towards our joined heads.
I had a hand full of dollars so I reached up to put some in his elastic waistband, but as I was pulling it away he pulled his hips away and his cock and balls sprang from beneath the skimpy cloth. I was shocked by this turn of events and let go of the elastic which instantly snapped shut leaving his package exposed. He then thrust back in and his escaped member collided squarely with Leigh's cheek.
I must have looked stunned and shocked -- not because he had a "mighty sword," but because I couldn't believe I was the one that let his cock out of the thong right in front of my girlfriend. I was imagining the police raiding the place and finding me under a cape with my girlfriend -- apparently both of us blowing a matador. I don't care how you phrase it; I don't think anyone would really see this as "just a misunderstanding."