The Math of Sex

The weekend passed by quicker than Joe would've liked. In the morning, he locked eyes with the girl named Cici from across the street as he was watering the plants. She nodded at him before driving away. After a day of walking around the house, doing nothing but idle chores that were left behind, Joe was antsy to get out — a sentiment he quickly regretted mentioning to Aisha the next morning. After just taking a relaxing morning bath, he was reluctantly dragged to the church she frequented. Joe would have loved to be proven wrong. However, as usual, expectations were immediately shot down and there began a hellish two hours of wandering around the luxurious building, forced to meet evangelicals who were way too judgemental for his taste. Luckily, just before the pastor started his sermon about promiscuous homosexuals and women alike, Joe's phone rang and he barely escaped with his sanity. He had never been more thankful for Mike's crap. Of course, he received a call from a slightly angry wife a few minutes later. Though, halfway through the sermon he thought he had escaped, Joe realized he may have found the reason for his wife's recent extremism.

The rest of the day he opted to visit the local gym to work his nerves out. He hadn't been there before as it was new, so he hired a guy he knew and was surprisingly working at the gym to show him around — an excessively cheery guy named Joshua. The cute guy used to skate around the neighborhood until he went through puberty and discovered girls. He was a little rough around the edges, but did a decent enough job. Having wandered around the place, the equipment didn't seem all that different from the gym he frequented. Joe felt it wasn't worth it to make the switch, considering the higher price. When he was just about to leave after thanking Joshua, however, the married man heard someone exclaim from his back.

"You go to this gym?"

He turned around to see a familiar fave, heart jumping from his chest.

"Oh, hey, Cici. No, I... I go somewhere else. This, uh, this place is pretty new." Joe gulped. How could he not?

Sweat accumulating through her cropped shirt, Cici stood confidently in high-waist nylon shorts that practically hugged her... behind. Despite the age difference, he found himself sneaking a second glance. Joe couldn't help it. While he didn't look the part, he was pretty much a normal guy through and through.

Still, it wouldn't be appropriate, so Joe bit down on the urge to look for a third time.

"Oh, that's a shame. I was just thinking of going here every day."

"You... go to the gym a lot?" he asked, which in retrospect, seemed like a stupid question. In every angle, the woman

looked

like she took care of herself.

"Not as much as I'd like, honestly. I did yoga back in Seattle, but I'm hoping to start hitting the gym instead, you know, for now. I don't even know where to start. Should I lift weights?"

"I can help you with that," mumbled Joshua in a quiet whisper only Joe could hear. He rolled his eyes at the obviously horny 20-year-old, who at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Depends on what you want to work on, but I suggest a comfortable weight first if you haven't done it before. Play around a little."

She gave him a salute. "I'll keep that in mind, sir! It's a shame you don't go here 'cause I can definitely use the help to exercise some hard-to-reach places."

"Yeah. Well, I'm not that good anyway. You're better off spending your money on an actual trainer."

"Then how come I haven't seen a trainer who looks as good as you? I mean, you have a daughter that's about to go to college. How young were you when you had Trish?"

"Thanks, I guess. But I'm older than you think. Take your age and maybe triple that."

"Well, I don't think I'm

that

young, but thank you!"

Joe awkwardly smiled and checked the time on his watch. "Would you look at the time! I think I should go. I've got some, uh, stuff to do."

"Oh, of course! God, sorry. I was just about to head out myself. See you around, Joe."

Waving his hand for a few good seconds, the husband finally breathed a sigh of relief when the girl left. It seemed the celebration was premature, however, because another headache replaced her quite immediately with no problems.

"Holy fucking crap! Is that like a side-piece of yours? Dude, where's your fucking church?"

He rolled his eyes at the overactive young man. "Calm down, Josh. She's a neighbor," he explained.

"Well, this really really

really

hot neighbor totally wants to bang you, man. You're interested, right?

"Okay, that's definitely not true; she was just being polite. And you seem to be forgetting that I'm happily married." Joe lifted up his right hand for him to see.

Joshua looked horrified at the reminder. "Oh, my God!"

"Calm down, it's marriage. Not — well, actually, I couldn't imagine anything worse than getting tied down when I was your age so I get that."

The young man nodded to affirm and seriously stated, "I'd choose death, honestly."

"Now that's just a little extreme."

Joshua waved his hand and dismissed him, "Yeah, yeah, hold up. Let me wrap my brain around what this fucking means."

"Didn't think you had one," Joe whispered, which the young man glared at him for.

"So you just, what, refuse girls who look like

that

and want to screw you?"

"Again, she doesn't want to... screw me. Cici is just like that."

"Are you actually being for real? 'Exercise some hard-to-reach places' didn't spell it out for you? Dude, she was totally pulling out the moves. No girl gives that much eye-contact if she didn't want it hard. She barely looked in my direction."

"Because she didn't know you, dumbass. If anything, that just proves it more. You're a good looking guy who's more age-appropriate. Why wouldn't she want you and pine for an old man instead? If only you could do something about that attitude..." Joe replied, staring disappointedly at the guy before realizing he called him the son of a friend a

dumbass

, though the kid clearly needed it. He definitely had the talent to get on your nerves and simultaneously feel closer to you, that's for sure.

Joshua shrugged. "Whatever, man. I'm just saying, if that were my girl? I'd understand settling down. Your wife must have looked like a bombshell back then."

"...She still does. And I love her, that's the important bit."

He grimaced. "Eugh, get out of here."

For what it's worth, the rest of the weekend after that seemed a little lackluster. He went home that same evening, cooked dinner for an angry wife, and slept comfortably on the other side of bed with a full one. Naturally, when the day for work arrived, Joe couldn't be happier. The morning of the interview, he wore a semi-professional suit he had gotten back then for his college graduation — his only formal attire as an adult, paired with a cheap blue tie. He never understood people who spent an exorbitant amount of money on designer clothes. To him, they all virtually look the same. Though he had to admit some people wore it well.

Case in point — his boss. As Joe sat beside Jessica, he couldn't help but admire her impeccable fashion. Say what you wanted about the woman, but she made for a reassuring boss and a terrifying enemy. She dressed impressively, the luxurious fabric highlighting her curves — arguably her best feature. Her posture, straight as an arrow, easily placed her among taller men as well, though certainly not as tall as Joe.

With her tailored suit emphasizing her slender yet... comely figure, Jessica's dark curly hair framed a face adorned with sharp features. Sometimes, under all the unnecessary aggression, he forgot how attractive Jessica was. Everyone thought so at first anyway. When you've worked with the woman, however, it was easy to forget.

Cici, on the other hand, possessed a different level of beauty, and it was evident when she arrived in the room. She heeded his advice and dressed simply, opting for a professional feminine vest and a pencil skirt. Her hair was tied to the back of her head with a clip — quite imperfectly as the remaining unruly section elegantly cascaded down her shoulders. She seemed a far cry from the easygoing woman he met three days ago, which could play to her advantage. Jessica liked no-nonsense attitudes.

His nose twitched as Cici sat down in front of them. Her scent, a bergamot orange, immediately filled the part of the room Joe was in.

"Morning!" she greeted in a clear tone, reaching out her hand for a handshake before she sat down. Clearly not used to someone taking charge in front of her intimidating figure, Jessica responded immediately, "Nice to meet you, Cici. You can call me Jessica, and I'm sure you're already acquainted with Joe here."

Cici gave him a determined nod. He gave an encouraging one back.

"Shall we begin?" Jessica asked before moving to the standard questions. Actually, Joe hated job interviews — he hadn't been in one since he began his current job, and he didn't think he would be so soon, especially on the hiring side. In the past month, Jessica had insisted to the board that her two most capable department heads be allowed to take up a team designated solely for expansion. That meant his own subordinates, his own approach, his own consequences. It would open up an insane amount of opportunities for the man who won — especially if the rumors about a subsidiary were to be believed.

This could actually be a turning point in their careers. After extensive review, Joe turned his attention to sales while his work rival, Mike, decided on modern marketing media.

The two men frequently acted like they were close friends for the longest time, but Joe had been in a secret pissing contest with the guy ever since they met. While he didn't start the entire thing, he wasn't proud of the fact that a small part of him was still driven by this stereotypical macho need for male domination. Mike had recently bought a yacht and, since taking his beautiful wife sailing a couple of weeks ago, hasn't shut up about it. Joe had half a mind to buy a bigger yacht, but he wasn't that kind of guy. Private yachts were pretty bad for the environment, and he swore he would be the type of man to care about that stuff. It was one of the things that brought he and Aisha closer back then.

Truth to be told, he had wanted to use his love of math for the betterment of society and run his own company in the past as well; a non-profit organization that made use of innovations to help people. Joe had to abandon that road when Tricia was born. He was a father after all. He couldn't quit and chase after some dream that might potentially starve them. Luckily things had changed for the better when she was growing up; he got a promotion one day and they bought a house and a decent car six months later. In the past, Joe couldn't have imagined he would reach this high up in the corporate world. Ironically, now that he had the capital to actually afford starting anew, that fire inside him seemed to have been put out long ago.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp-toned question directed at him. "You want Cici on your team?"

Joe gave her a nod, inwardly finding it funny that his first move on the chess game was blatant nepotism. He was putting someone on a paycheck because his daughter liked them.

Well, so did he anyhow. But not in that way. Obviously.

Jessica then explained his basic situation to her; how Joe was to gather a team founded for the sole purpose of expansion. What she failed to mention was that, at its core, this was a political conflict — a test of some sorts. Not that Cici needed the brief, it seemed. For some reason, her eyes looked like they understood the reasoning behind it. As the interview progressed, Joe found himself equally enthralled by both women, mostly by the young woman who was handling her own. Jessica's intensity was matched at every point that even she seemed impressed.

Needless to say, the girl he kept meeting left another strong impression on Joe, one that would linger long after the interview concluded.

Jessica left the room first. Before Joe could stand up and follow after her, the confident young woman in front of him seemed to morph back to the friendly next-door neighbor he met yesterday.

"How'd I do?"

The married man smirked. "You're asking me?" he scoffed dubiously.

"Why? Do I look bad?" she replied, showing a cute and offended expression while consciously pulling the hems of her clothes.

Joe paused for a moment before he dismissed her concerns, "....No. You look nice. I just meant you did such a great job in the problem-solving portion that asking seems redundant."

"You mean it?" Her eyes gleamed like stars at the compliment, and Joe uncomfortably looked away.

"A-absolutely. You'll hear from us tonight, along with a contract. I told you it was more of a formality."

"Guess I'm lucky I was picked out by a big shot then," responded Cici, eyes turning into moons, followed by an almost imperceptible smirk.

There it was again. The sudden shift despite such a sweet disposition. Joshua mentioned it yesterday. Was he right? Was she actually flirting?

To be honest, Joe was more inclined to believe it was all in his and the young man's imagination. If so, he badly needed help. Him and Joshua — the same? Cici was barely half his age. It was beyond fucking creepy.

He dismissed the anxious energy in his gut and attempted to redirect the conversation. "I'm hardly a big shot. You should see Jessica."

The young woman shook her head sideways, clicking her tongue, "I have a certain eye for this kind of thing. I know when a shot is... big. Trust me, while that may be the case now, you'll have her on a plate one day."

Joe laughed, clearly taking it as a joke. "I'd rather not have my screaming boss on a plate, thanks. What would that even do? I reckon she'll still manage to eat me."

Cici gave him a grin as she lazily stretched her arms up, creating a slight gap between the hem of her shirt and her blouse, which exposed a silky smooth skin.

Joe turned away from her almost instinctively, like a jumpy cat that got sneaked up on.

God, he

so

needed to get laid.

Unbeknownst to him, Cici had a smirk on the corners of her lips. He would have seen it if he weren't so distracted.

____________________________________

The work week passed by pretty quickly. As planned, Cici had been instantly hired after the interview. The process was hardly a problem considering it was an entry-level job. Plus, Jessica actually liked her. Strangely, Jessica had once said she was fond of him years ago too, whatever the hell that means. Not that that stopped her from being one of the most abominable people in the world. God, he hated dealing with Jessica. Highly competent, of course — she wouldn't have the job if she wasn't. But she seemed to think being a woman in management level gave her the right to treat her employees like subhuman shit. Joe avoided her like a plague. So do the rest of the men despite her beautiful stature, except maybe Mike, who was head over heels in love with the insane woman.

In any case, Cici had started working the other day. As Joe expected, she was a fast learner. She absorbed the office culture like a sponge. By the end of the day, she had her own set of work friends — including him.

Joe had made it a point to courteously offer her a ride home every day after seeing her wait for a bus. They were neighbors after all. She graciously accepted the frequent offers, and for the longest time, Joe was having the most fun he had in conversations. For the first time in forever, Tricia was excited to hear about his day too. He knew it was because of Cici, but he didn't care. The father was only happy to talk.

After the longest conversation he'd had with her in months, Tricia went to the woman's house with a small congratulatory gift and didn't come back until later in the evening. They looked like they had fun.

Just like that, a week had passed and his amazement only grew. Cici was organized, well-informed, and professional — more than anyone he ever taught, and Joe finally had to admit he was starting to have a little bit of a crush on her. Although it wasn't sexual at any level, it still felt wrong. He had a wife waiting for him at home. Besides, the whole thing felt like betrayal anyway — a sentiment Mike could not relate to. Though, Joe reckoned he was just trying to get him into trouble.

"You're being fucking silly, man. We can't have crushes? Women thirst over celebrities and fictional men all the time. I'm sure Aisha wouldn't care."

"Clearly you don't know Aisha."

"What I do

know

is that this Cici girl is one hot piece of ass. God, a pencil skirt couldn't hide all that. Have you seen her walk? It's like watching sex on a stick."

Joe shifted uncomfortably at his lecherous words. His dad used to talk to his guys in the same way, which he realized was rather demeaning when he was dating Aisha — she was a feminist back then. Of course, that didn't mean he particularly disagreed with Mike. Cici... was a beautiful woman for sure.

She was also his daughter's age, he reminded himself.

And you are happily married.

Thankfully, the conversation was cut short when Jessica walked in on the office kitchen and grabbed a hotdog sandwich from the fridge. Mike ended up blankly watching the woman tear, bite, and swallow for an entire minute, completely slack and tongue-tied.

Joe himself headed towards his corner office, which he quickly came to regret as the object of his recent admiration stood beside his desk, browsing through the collection of books he had collected for several years; most of which were related to his job.

"You know, you read a lot of books about fiction and feminism," said Cici.

"Are you saying feminism is fiction?" he quipped.

She held up his copy of

Women Don't Owe You Pretty

and scrunched her face in mock disgust. "Totally, which is why I'm surprised the company paid for them."

"I know you're being sarcastic, but those are actually mine. I, uh, brought them here to read for fun."

A string of glass silence stretched out between them.

"...That's hot," Cici seemed to let slip while staring at the thick book in her hands. Joe's entire body paused, a shiver running down his spine at the sickeningly addictive tone of her voice.

"Uh, have you read the... book?" In an effort to distract himself, the married man walked towards his office chair and hastily sat down, his Adam's apple visibly sliding down his throat as he nervously swallowed.

"Nope. I'm a little curious, though. Because judging by the title, I don't think I agree with the author."

That got his attention. "Well, you have to! You don't think women owe men anything, do you?"

She stared directly into his passionate hazel eyes and replied, "I think everyone owes everyone something."

Cici then casually sat on top of his desk — her shapely, tanned, athletic legs showcased right in front of him, well within his reach. His heart beat slowed almost to a halt. "Like what?"

Cici's full lips parted slowly to explain, almost.. slurring like a seductive cat. "Well, women may owe men pretty. And men may owe us back..."

He gulped. "...Back what?"

"Taking care of," she answered him, "Women love that. God knows I do."

Joe wanted to leave, but for a very obvious reason, he couldn't stand up and risk exposing his lower body. Then, as quickly as her presence invaded his space, Cici stood up and walked to the other side of his desk — and his breath resumed.

"Either that or money — what was it Marilyn Monroe said again? Money is like a guy's pretty or something."

"A man being rich is like a girl being pretty."

She paused to look at him and he blushed. "....Aisha likes that movie. Uh, anyway, do you need me for anything?"