A lot of cum came out of Emman and he's still not satisfied. He wanted to fuck me. I didn't allow him. When earlier I was not ready to give myself to him because he's still married, this time I really made up my mind to not push thru with our relationship. I was still hung up with his really big and round face, his false teeth, and now I had one more thing to add to his flaws...his tiny penis. After all those years of not having a dick inside me, this was all I'd get? But of course, he need not know about it. He's going to be insulted big time. I just told him:
"Emman, I am not ready to be your mistress all along. I don't want to be a mistress. I don't want to be a home wrecker. I am not that worthy for you to ruin your family. I am not going to be able to match your 21 years with Lorna. Please don't let us allow ourselves to have a mortal sin."
But what happened next was something I was not able to prepare myself for. He went down on his knees, took off his wedding ring and handed it to me while saying, "I don't love her, Joy. I never loved her. She is so hard to love. She embezzled in the Philippines and I got involved. I had a hard life because of her. She's so demanding and wanted to live in luxury, beyond what I could afford. She's just a rebound. I broke up with her when we were just going out because I could feel that I would never be happy with her. She just didn't stop coming to our place and made herself endeared to my family. You knew we had a forced marriage.
Ever since I met you, Joy, I knew you were the one for me. I've proven that to you by accepting you back when you left me the first time, and I tried to go back to you two times before. I'm more in love with you now. If Lorna and I had 21 years, I loved you longer than that. You're always in my mind and in my heart. You never disappeared. You're an intrinsic part of me. You're the one who really became a part of me. You're the one I longed for all my life. I was just suffering in silence. Fate brought us together in this country, a continent away from the Philippines, because it's time for us to be together. It's time for us to start our happily ever after. I promise you, I'm going to separate from Lorna so we'd not commit a mortal sin. From now on, we'd be exclusive. It's not our fault to fall in love with each other again."
While he's saying all these, the photo of his kids that he sent to me in 2008 just flashed back in front of me. I knew my conscience was bothering me.
"How did Lorna give birth, Emman? I delivered my girls vaginally. I'm roomy down there already."
"Thru C-section. Joy, that's not important. Please."
I got so insecure.
Emman was crying and begging. It melted my heart. That's when I realized my effect on him, how deeply he loved me from the very beginning. He handed me his wedding ring to be thrown away. I didn't take it. I didn't even want to touch it. I begged him to put it back on. I told him it would not matter to me even if he wore it while we're together. Even though he's saying that he never loved Lorna, they got married in church, in the presence of the Lord. Whatever happened between the two of them all those years, good or bad, was not worth throwing away. But he still threw away his wedding ring.
No matter how my mind kept on saying, - "Bullshit. He's just fooling you, Joy, to have you. Don't get carried away. He married Lorna because he loved her and they had 21 years. They also have 3 kids. Lorna accepts him the way he is with all of his imperfections, his very big and round face, his false teeth, his pacifier like penis." - I felt the suffering he had been taking while longing for me, for my love. I felt his deep love for me. I left him twice, I refused him twice, and we had 3 years of flirting to be together this very night. Too much emotion had been invested already.
My mind and my heart kept arguing. My mind was saying, "It's wrong, so wrong..." My heart was saying, "The time has come. You both have waited for so long..."
I wished I was born with strong convictions...I hoped I refused him...I should have just met him in the lobby...I hoped my mind was stronger than my heart...I hoped I broke up with him...I wished I said my final goodbye...but then...
