The Naed Cleaning Company

"The thing is he's always exhausted, I'm worried about him," said Rachel into her phone. She was browsing lingerie in Debenhams, hoping for inspiration, whilst chatting with her sister.

Tammy reclined on a lounger in the garden, phone cradled to her ear. "I'm sure he's fine, sis. It's all that cleaning, it's quite strenuous."

"I know but he's got a team now, so I don't know why he's still doing so much. We haven't had sex for months. I even offered him a blow job the other day and he just fell asleep!"

"Oh dear. Was that Monday?" said Tammy down the line with a grin. "He was doing a full service here. I'm afraid I had him on his knees most of the afternoon."

"Well you should buy a mop," Rachel replied absentmindedly, preoccupied with a pink, lacy bra. The underwire looked tortuous. "Perhaps this will perk him up," she murmured.

"Sorry?" said Tammy, but Rachel had gone quiet. She was gazing through the window at a poster across the street for 'Torrid Nightclub'. The headline was a violent red. 'THURSDAY - LADIES NIGHT' it screamed sordidly, 'HAPPY HOUR IS EVERY HOUR!" And beneath it was the image of Mike, clad in tight, black, leather briefs, arms clasped behind his head.

"Fucking hell, I knew I'd seen him...," murmured Rachel. Then she frowned. "Is this what they've been up to?"

"Still no bloody idea what you're talking about, sis?" said Tammy at the other end of the line.

**

It was Thursday and the club was heaving. And loud. Rachel felt extremely uncomfortable as she pushed through the throng. A performer was gyrating around the stage, slowly removing his clothes to wild cheers. She spotted two or three hen parties in the crowd, raucous and tipsy. And a few men, which surprised her, given it was 'ladies night', but but no sign of Tony. He'd left a message earlier to say he had a business meeting. 'Yea, there's plenty of 'business' going on here,' she fumed.

She spotted a corridor off to the left and headed that way. 'Maybe he's backstage,' she thought, seething with suspicion.

Tony was, in fact, just in front of the stage, nursing a beer, obscured by a rather large lady in a wedding dress and veil. Her sash read 'Kaila's Last Night of Freedom!' Mike had said to wait near the front and his legal friend would find him.

"Hey! You Tony?" shouted a woman approaching from the bar. Tony nodded over the din. She beckoned him across the room and they walked into the Men's Room. Not exactly pristine, but quieter than the auditorium.

"Are you allowed in here?" said Tony.

"Don't get many blokes on Ladies Night. I'm Daisy, I run the bar," said the woman. She was curvy, with long black hair that lay lifelessly across her shoulders. The denim blouse and skin tight jeans accentuated the curves, but in all the wrong places. Not that Tony minded. It was her brain he was after.

"Good to meet you," he said. "Did Mike...?"

"Yea. You're the pimp, right?" Daisy replied sharply.

"What? No! It's a cleaning company," Tony blurted. "We just offer, er, extras too."

"Who does the tricks?"

"I don't know what you...?"

"The fucking. Who are the escorts?"

"Oh. Me and Mike. And a couple of mates. And we're cleaners, not escorts."

"Consenting adults?" she barked, ignoring his comment.

"Of course!"

"Soliciting on the street?"

"No way!"

It was beginning to feel like the inquisition.

"Running a brothel?"

"Er, we have an office? But it's for admin only."

One of the male strippers crashed into the room and headed for a cubicle. He was clutching a small towel loosely wrapped around his waist and looked flushed. "Hey, Daisy," he grunted on the way past.

"Great show, Channing," she chirped.

Tony looked at her incredulously. "There's a real stripper called Channing?" he whispered with a grin.

**

Rachel crept along the corridor searching for Tony. A couple of guys walked past, butt naked, having just come off stage. Rachel turn towards a noticeboard as they passed, but couldn't resist a peak at their arses as they walked away. She passed a rack of wedding costumes. 'Obviously a regular theme', she mused. A stagehand was shouting at the end of the corridor, clearly looking for somebody.

"Where's the bride? Anyone seen the bride?" said the stagehand to nobody in particular and scurried away.

There were several rooms. Rachel tried a couple of doors but one was locked and the other one empty. She was heading for a third when it opened a Mike strode out, right towards her! Rachel ducked behind the rack of costumes, quickly pulling a bridal veil over her head. She fiddled with it as Mike walked past, heading towards the stage. She didn't want to confront Mike until she was sure Tony was part of this sordid place.

"Are you the bride?" It was the stagehand standing right behind her. 'Where the bloody hell did he come from!' she thought, panicked for a second.

"I'm with, er, Mike!" she squealed.

"Fantastic. This way."

He grabbed her arm and led her to a curtain, and pushed her through on to the stage. As the spotlight descended on to her veil, the crowd roared.

"Oh fuck!" said Rachel under her breath. She turned towards the curtain, but stong hands grabbed her and twirled her back on to the stage. It was Mike. He pushed her firmly on to a chair in the middle of the stage and started gyrating seductively to the music.

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!' she thought, flushing under the veil, hoping and praying no one could see her face.

**

"...and you're definitely not soliciting?" said Daisy, back in the restroom.

"They always call us. It's all word of mouth. If you, er, know what I mean!" said Tony with a grin. Daisy cringed.

"Well it doesn't sound illegal to me. Some of the husbands might not be happy but I doubt the law would get involved. Just make sure you pay your taxes," she said plainly.

"Thanks. That's a relief. How did you... learn all this?"

"The hard way," she said. "Worked the street corners for a while. It's rough on the streets. I got beat up once too often so jumped ship and ended up here. Now I'm studying law. Lambeth Polytechnic. Running the bar here in the evenings and keeping my head down. It's all pretty fucked up but I'm managing."

She paused. "You should keep an eye out for the local 'Mr Big' round here. Mazur. Nasty piece of work. Pretty much controls the street trade and most of the brothels, so don't get in his way, understand?"

Tony nodded and swallowed hard. "Does he offer cleaning?"

Daisy laughed. "Not the kind of cleaning you do! But if it's private houses, you'll be fine."

"Really appreciate your help. Er... could you handle some daytime work?" said Tony hesitantly.

**

Back on the stage, Mike was down to his jockstrap and, despite trying, Rachel hadn't been able to get away. He had her on her feet, twirling her around him as the crowd chanted. Rachel turned her back to the audience and lifted the veil so that Mike could see her face.

"What the fu...?!" screamed Mike in horror.

"Keep dancing!" she scowled. "I want a word with you."

"I'm just a stripper!"

"Yes, I can see that. But what are you and my fiance up to?"

"It's just a day job. Tony's a mate. I'm helping him out."

"With cleaning?"

"Of course. What else would we be doing?"

"All young men? Toned, ripped, sexy men? I have a sneaking suspicion that you're... oh, fuck!"

Rachel had spotted Tony leaving the men's room and quickly pulled her veil down, ducking back on to the chair. Mike was confused momentarily and looked around, catching Tony's eye. Mike's soul filled with dread. Tony had stopped to watch the show for a minute. 'She's a cute one,' thought Tony, eyeing the nervous looking 'bride' under the veil.

Rachel could see Tony through the veil, she tried to turn away further, petrified he would recognise her, but slipped off the chair and ended up on her knees in front of Mike. Not ideal, but it offered extra cover so she stayed down. With Rachel in front of him, Mike had come to the end of the song and the audience were baying for the finale. What's the quickest way to get off the stage: finish the routine! He pulled away his jockstrap but the audience just groaned. Rachel's kneeling body was obscuring 'the goods'.

From the corner of her eye, Rachel could see that Tony was still watching. She was desperately trying to work out how to get off stage. The audience started chanting: 'suck him off! suck him off!' 'There's going to a fucking riot if the audience don't get a show,' she thought and in a moment of madness she decided. 'Fuck this,' she thought, lifted the veil just an inch and swallowed Mike's semi-hard cock, burying her face in his crotch. The crowd roared with approval.

Tony looked on in awe. Mike was staring at him with an odd look of bravado and guilt. He shrugged and Tony winked at him. 'Bloody hell, that's raw! Never knew it was this raunchy in here!' mused Tony as he turned and headed out of the exit.

Rachel jumped up, grabbed Mike's neck and shouted in his ear over the din. "Not a word! Ever! Or I'll cut your fucking balls off!" And she stormed off the stage to a massive cheer.