Chapter 05 – Truth or Dare
The next three days were excruciatingly long. Laying around my room at the Marriott, going to the gym, hitting the batting cages, nothing seemed to help ease my mind. Saturday night was coming and I was terrified. I had not shown it at the office but I was nervous about where things were headed and I was exceptionally worried about the things that were going on while I was isolated.
I worried about the events that were going to occur on Saturday night. Each woman would have 10 minutes alone with me and then there would be another vote. Leslie really put it out there but I knew they each had questions, as did I. I owed them answered and I knew I needed to man up about it. Still, there were going to be difficult moments. I knew that. I feared how hard some of them would be.
I was tucked away for now, safely out of touch. I continually wondered what fallout our meeting had with the women. Were Brooke and Vivian being grilled about telling me about the meeting? Did it come out that I had been home for almost a week and no one knew? What impact did that have on Penny and Vivian? Did Brooke's trip to see me come out? How would that information be received? Was it a betrayal? Was it overt loyalty to me and not the game? These were the questions that consumed my mind. I could not stop thinking about them.
I got no sleep over the three days I was alone. The television was on, but I wasn't watching. Even when I was at the batting cages, my mind wandered and I was just letting pitches go by. My focus was shot and my mind was far, far away. Among all of the hectic thoughts racing through my head, another thought appeared every now and again. I thought of Donna-Lee Markson. I hadn't said goodbye to her when I left home, though by now she was well aware of that. I thought about calling her to apologize for that, but then I thought it was better off left alone. If I was going home after this vote, then I could apologize in person. If I was staying, I would have some leverage again and could call to apologize later.
I finally made it to Saturday after what felt like an eternity. I got up early and hit the gym, though I was still totally distracted. The nice part was, after today I would know my fate, either way. There seemed to be comfort for me in just having the answer, no matter what it was. The wait was torture. I had a light lunch at the hotel, alone. That was a humbling moment for me. I found myself eating and actually getting lonely. I was so used to having at least one of the women with me at all times that this was a startling feeling. It overwhelmed me until I could no longer think about it.
I finished eating and went to the batting cages, determined to calm myself down before the big meeting. It didn't work. If I hit every third pitch it was a lot. I went back to my room at the Marriott and took a shower. I thought about taking a nap, but with the speed at which my thoughts were racing, that was not about to happen. As I was shaving, my cell phone rang.
"Hello," I answered, the echo from the bathroom amplifying my voice.
"Tonight, 7:15 at my house," Leslie announced. "Don't be late, don't be early."
That was the extent of the conversation. I finished shaving and got dressed. I left my room at 5:05 and headed to the hotel bar. I had a couple of beers, trying to calm my nerves. I had no appetite, so I was not about to order any food. I waited there, as the minutes passed. A young woman across the bar kept smiling at me. I smiled back to be polite. After about a half hour, the bartender strolled over to me and got my attention.
"The lady over there would like to buy your next round," he informed me.
I looked at him, quite perturbed when I should have been flattered. I thought of everything that was about to go down tonight and I looked back at the innocent, lovely lady who was still smiling at me. She appeared, from the outside, as if she was a nice woman, but she had no idea of the twisted world in which I dwelled on a daily basis.
"Tell her no thanks," I said to him.
I hopped off my stool and headed out of the bar. I made my way through the lobby of the hotel and out to the valet station. The attendant pulled my car up quickly for me and I jumped behind the wheel. I took off in a flash and jumped on the parkway. I pushed on the pedal and drove fast, as fast as felt I could control. Then I pressed the pedal down further. As the car accelerated, I felt no control at all, as if anything could happen. It mirrored what was going on inside of me.
As my car passed 130 miles per hour, I felt nervous, even slightly afraid. I drove that way up a long stretch of open road, shaking inside the entire time. Finally, when fear overtook me, I took my foot off the gas pedal and let the car decelerate to a respectable 70 miles per hour. I pulled off the next exit and then to the side of the road. I shut the car off and sat there, shaking. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I could not control the thoughts racing through my head. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I looked at my eyes in the rear view mirror and begged myself to get a grip.
Just when I thought I was never going to calm down, I thought of Penny sleeping in the car as we drove back from her parents' house. I don't know why I thought of that but at that moment a strange sensation of peace came over me as I sat there. I stopped shaking. I no longer felt out of control or nervous. I was like a very still lake on a calm morning, as smooth as glass. My pulse slowed to a normal rate and my thoughts were once again under my control. I nodded to myself in the rear view mirror, confidently. I started the car and got back on the parkway, now headed to Leslie's house. It was time.
I arrived at Leslie's house at 7:12pm. Close to perfect. I made my way to the front door and gingerly rang the bell. Leslie opened the door quickly, much to my surprise. I thought for sure I would be made to wait and to think. She invited me in and I took immediate notice that the house was full of action. I could hear the women in the kitchen and the dining room. As I walked through the front hall, I noticed a woman with curly red hair in the living room. Her back was to me and I saw that she was swaying slightly from side to side.
I proceeded into the living room and walked up behind her quietly. I gingerly put my hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn around slowly. She looked at me angrily, which I completely understood. I leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek.
"I know I owe you a better apology than I can put into words, but I am sorry," I said to her softly. "This must be Brian."
The small bundle in her arms was quite a site. He was quiet, close to being asleep. I kissed him on the top of the head.
"He's amazing," I whispered to her.
"You're a brave man, agreeing to this," Monica said to me in her charming Australian accent. "They are not going to go easy on you."
"Whatever they put me through tonight, I hope it makes up for the things that I put them through by being a chicken shit and not coming back before it came to this," I replied.
The look on her face changed when I said that. She turned her head slightly as she stared at me.
"How are you feeling," I asked her.
"The whole insemination process was weird, but physically I have recovered from the actual birth," she revealed.
"How does it feel to be a mom," I inquired.
"More wonderful than I can explain to you," she replied.
"I hope I will see you later," I said as I began to exit the living room.
Monica smiled at me when I turned to go, which increased the peace I was feeling. That was all about to change. When I reached the hall again Leslie was waiting for me. She had a scowl on her face, though she didn't say a word. I followed her into the kitchen and through to the dining room. She took a seat at the dining room table, as did all of the women when the saw me. Their conversations stopped and they alternated between looking at me and looking away. I stayed standing and walk around the table as a silence fell over the room.
"So here we are," I stated.
"We are here," Leslie responded. "The rules are set. You will spend 10 minutes with each of us and you have to answer anything we ask you. Also, no sexual activity can take place in those 10 minutes, so watch where your hands or other things roam. You can wait out back, I will send out the first person in a minute."
I opened the sliding glass door and stepped out into Leslie's back yard. I walked across her patio and towards the pool where I sort of paced aimlessly, waiting. I had not actually thought about what order the ladies would speak to me in, so this new variable was now consuming my thoughts. The glass door slid open a moment later and Vivian made her way out to me.
"The first lady," I laughed as the glass door closed behind her.
"Lucky me," she whimpered. "We drew numbers."
She held up a small piece of paper with the number 1 on it. I nodded.
