So after yesterday's time with Sondra, I realized I am having serious feelings for this woman I barely know. It feels like a high school crush and it feels good but at the same time, it feels scary. We are both in very serious situations that there are no easy ways of getting out of. I have a wife that will probably want financial support for a while at least if not a long while. She can have the house, but she can't afford it without a degree and a decent job. I don't want the house. Sondra has a husband that I get the impression he is just a control freak bully type and I already feel I have to protect her from what he might be capable of doing.
So today being Friday, I left work early and again, all I did was think about Sondra. I also went online and checked bank and credit card balances to see what I have and I checked into local divorce details. If we go uncontested, we can save a lot of money and if we agree to terms, we don't need lawyers to do the paperwork for us. I will divorce my wife whether or not something gets serious between me and Sondra. I know it feels wrong to be with my wife and feels right to be with another woman so whether it's Sondra or someone else, my marriage is coming to a close. It's been a 5 year let down for me. I should have listened to my friends who were telling me I was too young and rushing things.
On my way home, I drove into the park and just drove around a bit. I went into the campground area and saw what I thought might be Sondra's brothers 5th wheel because it had a license plate registered in the state they are from. However, there was no one outside and I didn't want to knock on the door.
I drove by the pool and didn't see anyone laying out that looked like Sondra. It was mostly kids and a couple of older women talking, watching me as I drove by. I drove around a little more and went home.
When I got home, my wife was napping on the couch with her mp3 player blaring in her ears and a shopping channel playing on the TV. I touched her on her knee and she woke up and looked at me like she was pissed I had awakened her. There was a soda can on the floor with cigarette butts in it. Great, now she's smoking in the house when I am gone. So we fought about that and I walked out and said I needed some time to think about things.
She asked, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "I don't know but I wish I didn't have to come back!"
I drove into the park again, but I was 4 hours too early for my ride so I just went to a parking area down that secluded trail and walked back to that trail and down to the picnic table. I sat there just soaking up the breeze and enjoying the peaceful sound of the rapids in the creek, thinking about what I wanted to say to Sondra. I didn't want to push things too fast but she only had 3 full days left here, including today, before they head back home and I really didn't want our time to end, I wanted her to stay with me, but of course, where would she stay? What would we do then?
As I was sitting there thinking, Sondra appeared at the opening of the trail and said, "Dave? What are you doing here?"
I sat up real quick and answered, "Hey! Me and Jen got in a fight and I had to get out for a while."
Sondra said, "Sorry to hear that. Me and mine had a nice talk last night and he agrees we have issues and have grown apart. He was actually cool with me wanting to leave. He is really unhappy, too. He's probably cheating" she said laughing.
I laughed and said, "It actually sounds like it!"
I continued, "Well, mine is now smoking in the house which she knows I would not approve of. I caught her sleeping on the couch when I got home with a soda can full of butts by the couch. We had a nice fight and I came down here because I like this place. I was just about to fall asleep myself right here on this picnic table. I'm so glad you're here."
"I missed you" Sondra said, "I really did."
"I missed you, too. You look great!"
She was wearing a pair of jeans and a light sweater. The cold front that caused the rain yesterday dried the air out and dropped the temperatures ten or fifteen degrees.
I then said, "Been doing a lot of thinking about everything and some things are going to get done. I am leaving Jen as soon as I can get everything figured out."
"It's not because of me is it?"
"No, you just helped me realize how miserable I was because when I am around you, I feel alive and young again."
Sondra said laughing, "We're only 27, Dave, and we're not old! I feel the same way though."
Sondra then uncrossed her arms and opened them towards me and I stood up to embrace her. I held her for a few minutes, holding tightly and rubbing her shoulders. She said quietly, "It's funny that I came here to our creek just to close my eyes and wish you were here with me and you were already here. It's like a sign."
I replied, "Yeah, it might be more than coincidence."
If I could have stopped time, or had a Groundhog Day moment, it would have been right there at that moment. I felt so comfortable in her arms and no words needed to be said. We held each other for a long time, just feeling each other breath and listening to the wind and creek. A woman who gave me a first impression as being someone to just screw around with and forget had now captured my full attention. I could only think of being with her whether I was with her or away.
I finally said, "What would you like to do for the rest of the day?"
Sondra replied, "I just want to spend it with you. It doesn't matter."
All of a sudden I remembered one of the guys from work was out of town and has a nice hot tub and pool in his back yard. I told Sondra, "Hang on a minute, I have an idea."
I got my phone out of my pocket and went through my contacts. There it was his cell number! I called him and asked if he minded if I used his hot tub and he said sure, but his fence was locked and I'd have to climb over to let anyone else in. I said okay and told him I'd lock everything up when I was done using it. He asked if mine was broken and the question caught me off guard. I just said, "Yeah" real quick.
