The Phone Call

It's hard for me understand. I've got to get a grip on myself. I've got to figure it out. How can someone, so far away, a thousand miles or more, generate such feelings. And yet I felt the ache, the moisture, the swelling.

It was a hot July night, humid, dark, without a moon. I had finished my bath and slipped on my favorite old t-shirt. I turned the light down to where it was just a faint glow. Expecting his call, I was sitting in my easy chair, one leg thrown over its arm, my head laid back, my eyes closed when the phone rang. The call started just like others. Where he was now. Where he would be next week. We talked about our business, and our mutual hobby, computers. We're both pack rats, always running out of space because we can't get rid of anything. Always moving files and programs from one area to another, always reorganizing. We spoke about a photo he had sent me of himself. But there seemed to be something else going on. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on, and then...

“Julie. Would you do something for me? One little thing?" A pause. and before I could reply, "Would you touch your nipple while we talk?"

I felt stunned, like I had been hit. Not by a fist or anything violent, more like a shock wave. Something was being pulled from me. Something I wasn't sure I wanted to let out. I don't know. I can't explain it. I could feel the heat in my face. My heart seem to beat harder or at least I became aware of its beat. Would I do it? Could I reply?

"Ok." I don't know how long it took me to get that one word out.

"And would you imagine that it is my hands cupping your breast, holding it up so that my lips brush the nipple like edge of a chalice."

A fog seem to enter the room. A mystic fog. I was becoming encased in it. It was beginning to shut out the rest of the world. My hand trembled as it moved up my shirt to my breast. I squeezed, held myself tight for a minute, imagining it was his hand, his power that pressed against me. Then I moved to my nipple, already hard, first taking it between two fingers to sense and feel its response, and then beginning a soft stroking through the cloth.

"Ok." What was happening to me? I could feel his lips on me, gently sucking, kissing. His teeth brushing my nipple. The heat of his mouth on my breast. My hand reached to the back of his head and pulled him to me. He was there and yet ...he wasn't.

"Julie?"

I couldn't answer.

"Julie?"

My mind pleaded, "No, please, no.."

"Julie?"

"Yes."

"Now take your hand and touch your clit. Just touch it and feel me there."

My lips parted as my tongue returned moisture to them. My fingers moved down across my mons, to the hood of my clitoris. My pelvis let me know of its presence as a dull ache began to rise. Fear caused my body to shiver. But fear of what? My fingers pressed against the hood and as they did my whole pussy moved. A velvety moisture began to seep between my labia, their swelling unable to keep it in. He couldn't see me but his presence caressed me. I could feel his hot breath between my legs as I pulled the lips gently out, massaging one against the other. How could I be doing this? I was losing control. I had to stop.

"Ok." "Now feel me." "I do." Quiet...no words. I didn't know what to say. I had to stop and think about what was happening, why it was happening. No harm was there and yet it was ...dreamlike...it was frightening.

"I've got to go now." I couldn't leave it at that. My words were a whisper. "But I'll tell you something. Tonight, when I go to sleep, I'll hold one breast and think of this phone call." My face was on fire. "And that it is my hand?" "Yes." "And that it is my cock next to you, hard, pressing against you?"

"Julie?" "Julie?" "Yes...I will." "Good night Julie. I'll talk to you soon." "Good night. Sleep tight." I hung up the phone. My heart was pounding. My brain was swimming. My clit was ablaze with its demand. My breast felt the pain caused by my own unconscious squeezing, as my newly freed hand had fond its way beneath my shirt. I was covered with sweat. My legs were now spread even more as my other hand continued to slowly massage and stroke my pussy, sometimes stopping and just holding it in my hand, pressing against myself. The moisture first covered the labia and then the finger that gently moved up and down between them. My vagina wept its tears as it wished my fingers to its opening and then...inside. I could feel the ridges and their swollen sensitivity. I didn't have to go deep. Response was everywhere. I pressed my breast even harder as one finger began to move within me. What would he be doing now. Would he be watching TV, his feet propped up, having a drink or just brushing his teeth, getting ready for bed. Or would his hand be moving up and down his cock, feeling it get harder, imagining it was my hand or my lips stroking him? Could he feel the hair from my head brushing against his legs? Were my nipples between his lips? .Were my fingers sensing his swelling need, caressing his balls as the sacks softened in my hand? Would his eyes be closed as he tasted my juices? Would his cream burst out, covering his abdomen, my hand, my breast?

The fog is everywhere as I realize I am entering a new space, a mystic space, a space of serene sensuality. What I seek will be mine. I can now take my time. There is no urgency. My fingers move slowly, carrying me deeper into my mind. The feeling in my vagina mixes carnal eroticism with pain and both with a sense of soft floating. I'm a passenger adrift within my pelvis, my pelvis afloat within my mind, feeling and experiencing from within. My brain has become a sexual organ. My vagina, clitoris, labia, fingers, breasts, all there, reaching for each other, coming together. My breathing is now deeper, my heart pounding through my breast. And yet...I could stay this way for ever. A rapture of sexuality has enveloped me.

I allow the orgasms to begin. I can feel my fingers being pulled inside. My spasms erupt and then again, and again and again. My hands presses harder. Still more and then more. I swim in an ocean of sensuality, eroticism, lust. I am naked, and its waters bathe me.

The haze lifts a little. I realize I'm still in my chair. I've got to get to bed. I've got a lot to think about. But not now. I seem to have lost control. I stumble and reach for the wall as I move to the bedroom. All because of a phone call.

I lay between my sheets with a promise to keep. My hand cups and softly presses my breast. My eyes close. I sigh.

Good night. Sleep tight. --