My name's Wade. My Dad died, and I spent the next two weeks watching non-stop porn videos online, losing myself in Internet depravity until I was offered the Power of Porn. Now, the most bizarre sexual situations happen to me, as if I was living in a porno!
In one of those porn scenarios, a shoplifter fucked me so that I wouldn't call the cops on her. A couple days later, she found me and asked me out! We went to her place and had sex on her couch, but then her Mom jumped me as well.
---
In post-orgasmic euphoria, Piper and I remained on the couch for a bit, getting to know each other. She loved pumpkin spice lattes, but I thought they tasted like Hallowe'en threw up in my mouth. She loved the 'gram and the 'tok, but I never really got into that stuff. However, what we did agree on was that superhero movies were cool, Deadpool especially*. There was potential.
* I like to think that I was named after him, but I know that it was actually a great-uncle.
"I can't believe my Mom just mounted you right next to me," she commented, shaking her head, "even if she thought I was asleep."
"My sex life's been pretty weird this week."
She narrowed her eyes. "Such as fucking a shoplifter...anything else?"
I was pretty sure that I shouldn't mention the Power of Porn...either Piper would think that I was crazy, or maybe this dream would end if I explained it. "A guy's gotta have some secrets. You wanna go for a walk?"
---
Piper changed her stockings for some that weren't sperm-soaked, and then we went out. On the walk, she pointed out her old elementary school, as well as the house of her last boyfriend, who had taken her virginity. He'd moved on to university across the country, she said.
A few minutes and a block later, the porn tune sounded: *Bow-chicka-wow-wow!*
I stopped. "Shit."
Piper turned to me. "What?"
That sound had been directional, and seemed to come from the church that we were in front of. I headed toward the building and saw a sign indicating that it was for the Deschanel-Foley wedding. Why did the name Foley seem familiar?
"Wade?"
I turned back to Piper. "You may want to go home...I have something I have to do here." I knew I didn't *have* to enter the porn scenario, but every single one of them had been amazing, and I wasn't about to turn one down. Then I considered: *Did* I have to? Was my mind being influenced? I almost turned around.
"I'll keep hanging out, if that's okay." Piper gave me a worry-free smile.
"You're not the jealous type, are you?"
She tilted her head. "You just fucked my Mom."
"Right...okay, c'mon, but things might get a bit weird." I headed into the church, which only had a few people present...it looked like the ceremony wasn't due to start for a bit.
*Bow-chicka-wow-wow!*
Another directional tune...that had come from a side stairwell. I headed up and then down a hall of doors.
The tune sounded again from behind one of the doors. I stopped before it and knocked.
"Come in!" called a female voice.
I stepped into the room and stopped dead. There, in a gorgeous flowing white wedding dress, was my last year English teacher. "Miss Foley?"
She turned to regard me. "Wade? What are you doing here?"
"I...um..." I tried to push the door closed behind me, but it didn't latch. "Miss Foley..."
She was a vision. I had such a crush on her the previous year, with her intelligence, womanly proportions, and her stylish bob of blonde-streaked brown hair. I realized that she had similar looks to the porn starlet Cadey Mercury.
"Oh God..." she said, her face stricken, "you know, don't you? You're here to stop me from getting married."
I blinked. Know?
She quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed the front of my shirt. "It's my wedding day, Wade...this isn't fair! Why now?"
I was really missing something here. "Um..."
She pulled me into a passionate kiss and I took only a moment to gracefully recover and return her fervor. My arms surrounded her waist and pulled her close.
She broke the kiss. "Once you were no longer my student, I dreamed of just calling you up, but I didn't know what to say...'I have a crush on you?' 'I want to make love with you all day?'"
"Um..."
She dropped to her knees. "I can't let this opportunity go to waste...I'm not married yet!" She quickly unzipped my jeans and pulled my suddenly hard cock into her mouth.
I gasped, and heard another, fainter gasp from the slightly open door. Piper was watching from the hallway! I wanted to put my hands on Miss Foley's head, but that would have messed up her headpiece and hairdo, and those looked like they had taken forever to get just right.
Miss Foley pulled off of my cock. "I'm not calling off the wedding, but I do want to kiss my new husband with the taste of your cum in my mouth, Wade. Ohm." Then she surrounded my cock with her lips again.