When my now husband asked me to marry him, we were living at his parents' place with our fifteen-month-old twin boys. We moved from a vibrant, bustling city to their house in a tiny frozen town, 15 hours away. Separated from all our friends, other family, and where we had met. Basically, distant from everything we held near and dear. We had moved out there to try and get ahead.
Living with small children at your in-laws' place isn't always easy. Thankfully, their place was big enough to have our own space, while still sharing the kitchen, dining room, and outdoor areas. It was also nice to have live-in babysitters, even if we never had anywhere to go, or anyone to see.
Living with small children at your in-laws' place also meant we were not really having sex. And certainly, not like we used to before this time.
A few months after he proposed, we made the decision to move back to the big city. We had spent 18 months living in a tiny frozen town far away from the big city we considered home. I was elated on moving day!
We were finally back in our own space. However, our sex life did not magically go back to the way it was. To be honest, I don't think I even noticed. I mean, I was still running around with two small boys for most of my days. Sex was the last thing on my mind.
Nonetheless, my fiancee definitely did.
It was a typical Friday night. We had dinner in the backyard, since it was a beautiful July evening. We both took in the dishes, setting them on the counter. He took the boys upstairs to bathe and get ready for bed, while I did the dishes. After completing the dishes, I went upstairs and we both put the boys to sleep.
We returned back downstairs and sat on the couch.
"Well, they went to bed easily." I said.
"Yep." He answered. "And now we have the rest of the night together".
I smiled at him "true, what are we going to do with all this time?" I asked.
"I can think of a few things." He said as he leaned in to kiss me. "Mmmm you taste good".
I smiled as I watched him lean back. I have always loved hearing how much he wanted me.
"You know, we're no longer living with my parents".
"That's true." I answered.
He smiled as he looked at me. Then he looked to the floor, as his smile faded. "We don't have sex like we used to." He blurted. "I understand why we weren't when we lived with my parents and the boys were infants, but they're sleeping through the night now" as he pointed up to their rooms. "And, we have this whole house just for us! Remember when we couldn't keep our hands off each other?"
"Mhmmm" I mustered as I just looked at him, not quite sure where this was going. Of course I remembered our sex filled life, when we didn't have babies that turned into toddlers. Living, or not living with his parents didn't change that. I mean, I suppose I felt much more comfortable getting naked in a living room that belonged to just us.
He looked up from the floor, and said "I miss it. Listen, we need to figure out a way to get back to that place. I'm willing to try whatever you want".
I had no idea what I wanted. I didn't even think there was an issue. Sure, we definitely were not having sex like we used to, but I hadn't really lost all the weight from the pregnancy yet, and my days consisted of running around and playing with toddler twin boys. I certainly wasn't feeling super sexy most days. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was still hot. 5'7 with brown hair, blue eyes, and big boobs I often flaunt. My perfectly proportioned hips give me that hourglass body. Even though I was not usually focused on my hair, make up, or clothing nowadays, I always turned heads anywhereI went. Plus one of the bonuses of pregnancy and breastfeeding, was my boobs were huge. Even though I had not been breastfeeding or pregnant for the last year.
Apparently, bigger boobs is a permanent side effect.
It's been 13 years since that day, and my boobs have never gone back to their pre-pregnancy size. Although, if I'm being honest, I've definitely embraced it. I've always been one to show off my cleavage, and since becoming bigger, I relish in seeing more guys check me out. Anyway, back to the story
"Shit! I've been quiet for too long." I thought to myself. However, no words came to my mouth. All I could do was look at him and nod my head.
"I may be way out of line here." He said.
I was worried by that statement. "What the fuck does that mean?" I thought. However, I was still speechless.
"I'm open to whatever you need, but I also need you to know, if we keep going the way we have been, I..." He paused and looked at the floor again. "Well, I might need to find what I'm looking for elsewhere".
"Was I just given an ultimatum?" I thought.
"Ummm." I said while clearing my throat. "What exactly does that mean?" I quietly stuttered out. So many thoughts were racing through my head at that point.
"I'm not entirely sure." He answered. He was still looking at the floor.
There was a long pause between us.
