I sell, install, and service, garbage disposal units. You know the sort of thing. You attach it to the sink and flush food scraps into it. A touch of a button and the scraps are emulsified and flushed away.
Where service is concerned the most common problems are cutlery jamming the unit (not covered by warranty) or the unit simply jamming for reasons unknown. The latter is the most common and a silly reason for calling for the service man. There's a handy grip under the unit that can be cranked by a spanner, which forces the blades to turn and munch on the blockage. A few good turns and the blockage is gone and that's seventy five dollars, thank you. There's nothing to stop the home-owner from doing the cranking themselves and saving seventy five dollars, but if they don't want to who am I to complain. (The instructions are in the (unread) user's manual.)
I received a call one day of a blocked unit and headed in that direction. It was a very nice summer day, warm, but not too warm. I was enjoying the sight of lovely young ladies strolling the streets in fetching and light clothing. I pulled up at the client's address and rang the bell.
A very bored looking young lady answered the door.
"About time," she grumbled. "We're sitting here bored out of our minds waiting for you."
Really? In this, the age of easy entertainment? TVs, smart phones, lap tops, radios, and CD/DVD players, and they were bored. Takes all types, I guess.
I was taken to the kitchen and the sink was pointed out. Fortunate as I would probably have found it hard to locate a sink in a kitchen. As well as the sink there was another bored looking young lady in the kitchen. From the look of it the two women had been having coffee and idly talking while waiting for me.
I'd have said both young ladies were in their early twenties. They were both blonde and stacked, quite fit, and looked intelligent enough not to be bored when there are things they could do. Such as the afore-mentioned TVs, etc.
Both women, I might add, were dressed for the weather, skimpy dresses that highlighted their charms, and the way they were stacked they certainly had some charms. Not that I noticed, being a mere servant, there to fix the waste disposal unit.
A quick check, I nodded to myself, whipped out my crank and started turning it. After a couple of minutes I could feel the gears turning smoothly, indicating that the blockage was now clear. It was at that point that I heard one of the young ladies speak quite distinctly. Up until then their voices had been a sort of background hum.
"I'm not wearing any panties," came the comment.
No reaction from me, but a moment of silence and then some giggling from the girls.
I did a quick check to ensure that the disposal unit was operating correctly and turned to the owner with a smile.
"All fixed," I told her. "Do you want to settle up now or have us send you the bill?"
"How much is it," and looked irritated when I told her.
"That much? You've only been here five minutes."
"Standard fee," I replied. "It includes travel time and the first half hour work."
She grumbled a little but reached for her purse and took out the money. (No tip.) I gave her a receipt and was ready to leave. But I was curious.
I turned to the other young lady.
"Excuse me, but could you stand for a moment?"
She gave me a puzzled look but graciously rose to her feet. Taking a step closer I lifted the front of her dress, finding that I'd guessed correctly and she'd been the no panties speaker. Naked under the dress, and now fully exposed, not even any fur to hide her charms.
Both girls gave squeals of surprise, the woman with the missing panties being the louder. The gist of what they said was "What are you doing?"
I gave them my most innocent look, still holding the dress up, not that the young lady seemed to be in any hurry to push it back down into position.
"I was just checking the accuracy of your earlier statement. Wasn't I supposed to?"
