The Sex Addict
What makes a person a sex addict? Is it that they watch porn? If so, how much and where is that line? Is it that they can't go a day or two without having sex or masturbating? Is it the undying need to cum? What makes a sex addict.
I've been with Lisa for over 9 years now and she would always call her ex-husband a sex addict. As she described him, he was always cheating on her, going to massage parlors, and fucking anything he could find. She told me on several occasions that they used to have sex three times a day, every day. When she told me this, it always hit me a little weird that she said it with a pang of proudness in her voice. Almost a smile or an underlying tone of 'we used to do this, and it was amazing.'
On one occasion after having way too much to drink we were having sex and it wasn't going well. We had both consumed too much booze and while I was able to get it up, I just came far too quickly. In a wicked and quiet voice, I heard her say, "I should have stayed with Gary, where I could get fucked constantly." Or something to that effect. The result was me getting pissed and very hurt. The fact is, that I would love to fuck Lisa (or make love) every day, multiple times a day, or as much as I possibly could, but she's gone totally cold, is angry and frankly, a mean person. A bitch.
For better or worse, and I tell myself it's to find out more about her, I found a nanny cam online that is just a simple black box. Very unassuming, small, and discreet. It looks like it is part of any electronic equipment you would have around a TV. I installed it in our bedroom and use it to see what she does every night when she goes upstairs before me and says she is going to lay down. Of course, I also would love to have video of us fucking, and I'd love to have a true camera set up and Lisa's consent but with her attitude, this would never happen.
Lisa and I aren't doing well. In fact, we are on the cusp of just breaking up. After nine years, buying a house and all the time and effort we are close to ending it all. This is not something I ever bring up, but rather, Lisa saying that we need intense therapy or just end it and go our separate ways. Therapy, I can deal with, and frankly, I believe that all couples should visit a therapist in some fashion, just to make sure their relationship is in order, but this isn't the first time Lisa has said this.
Lisa has told me several times over the years that we need therapy, that she goes to therapy for herself and that I need help. The crazy thing is that I actually see a therapist every two weeks. To work on me, to ensure that I am being all I can be for me, us, and our relationship. The other fact is that Lisa has told to me that she is seeing a therapist regularly and I've come to find out that that has always been a lie. As part of Lisa representing that we need to see a therapist it's because we have issues and trust problems and she says........oh.......I'm a sex addict. So, what makes a sex addict?
Lisa has represented that I watch porn, flirt with women, rubberneck and have ruined her trust over the years. Let's be clear here. I have never cheated on Lisa; I have never invited anyone to 'have fun' in our hot tub like she did, and I would never cheat on her. I have presented Lisa's comments to my counselor and worked on them for me, us, and our relationship. I never watched a lot of porn, maybe a couple times a week, as our computers and phones splash it in front of us all the time. Now I watch none. I probably did flirt with women co-workers, but never to try to get laid. I'm not a cheater. Even though I was in my past relationship. It's not who I am. I masturbate, maybe, once every two weeks, and yeah, I probably do and did rubberneck when a hot women went by. I've worked on this as well. Is that a sex addict?
When Lisa goes upstairs, I log into my phone and watch what she is doing. Almost every night and I mean EVERY night is the same. She goes upstairs, washes her face and changes into very cute shorts and a tank top with no bra. It hurts my heart to know that when I see her in and out of those clothes, I just want to have crazy sex with her, but it never happens. Her tits are hanging and swinging, and she crawls into bed. She turns on her laptop and starts watching something on a streaming station. Not porn, just a movie of sorts. But within 30 minutes she reaches for the drawer and pulls out her vibrator. You know, one of those that women say is a back massager. It has a large ball end. Inevitably, it disappears under the covers and Lisa rubs it out with her vibrator for a minimum of 30 minutes and usually more like an hour to an hour and a half. You can always tell when she's having an orgasm because she turns her head to the right and starts to tense up. Usually, it's several small ones and then on every big and intense orgasm. Then, she's done and puts the wand away. This will happen again in about a half an hour if I don't go upstairs.
Regardless of when I come up, Lisa will hide the vibrator, roll to the opposite side of the bed, and will not engage in anything sexual with me. This happens EVERY night. Lisa masturbates every night and I have proof. She watches porn on her phone about three times a month while masturbating (I've seen the history log) So, what makes a sex addict? And if I compare the two of us, who is the sex addict? When it is all said and done, Lisa is averaging masturbating for an hour every other day, while I don't watch porn any longer, masturbate rarely, and never get laid.
If someone were to ask me if I was a sex addict, I would say, I would LOVE to be able to argue the fact, because I would be getting laid. But the fact is, in the last 8 months, I've been laid three times (When Lisa is so drunk she doesn't realize she asked me to fuck her. And that is exactly how she requests it. "you should come up here and fuck me.") masturbated about once every two weeks and never get any satisfaction. In nine years, Lisa has not truly sucked my cock for more than about 30 seconds, I've never cum in her mouth or down her throat. She won't let me eat her out and always says she hasn't showered and while we rarely have sex, obviously we never do anal any longer. Despite my efforts (see my other stories) we never play with toys or sex games or have adult fun. In short, I've been replaced by her massager that she uses daily. So, I ask again who is the sex addict? The one who craves it and never gets any satisfaction, or the one that was trained to fuck three times a day and rubs it out every night? Yeah, I'm angry, disappointed, and sad. But I still love her and continue to have hope.
This week was different. Lisa told me that we need to see a counselor for 'serious therapy' or we need to just call it done. I said, "Serious therapy sounds great! Please book it." And of course, she has told me that she is seeing a counselor already and I need to book a session, so they get to know me and then we transition to couples therapy. I must admit, I really do want to do this. I want us to be what we could be and what I see we can be. I want to have the intimacy that we have not had. I want to fuck every day, if possible, I want to play with the toys I got her, to eat her out, for her to suck my cock and all the things that we think of. But I'm still waiting for Lisa to give me the name. I've been waiting for three days.
After several requests, she finally gave me the name and number and I called right away. I scheduled my first meeting and am excited about what this could bring to our relationship.
