'Am I a horrible person if I say that I am glad he's dead?' Isla looks at her friends guiltily.
'Of course not,' Fiona responds immediately, and Sarah, Helen and Betty nod in agreement. They all know what she means. Fred was ill, a slow deterioration process, with the "bonus" of Alzheimer's in the final stages of his illness, which meant that he often did not even recognise her. It had been an ordeal, and Isla had done her utmost to make the last part as pleasant as possible for her husband, but it had taken its toll. His death had been a relief for both Fred and herself, even though the subsequent grieving process had not been a walk in the park either. But after a year she starts to get back on her feet, mentally and emotionally, and at the moment the loneliness, now that Fred is no longer there, and her libido, which is slowly returning, are playing tricks on her.
However, she's not ready for serious dating yet, and going to a bar or a dance hall or something like that for a one-night stand (does that still work that way? she wonders) does not appeal to her either, she's not quite desperate enough for that, she jokes regularly.
And a new man, after everything that happened with Fred in recent years, she's not even sure if she will ever dare or be able to handle that! What if he also... jeez, she does not want to think about it.
But that she misses sex is beyond doubt, her vibrator has been working overtime in recent weeks. She can hardly remember what it was like with a man, Fred's illness had gradually reduced his sex drive to zero. Not that he could help it, he found it bad enough, they were always very active in that department.
'Man, I wish you could just order a man, via a menu. Like a mail-order bride, but a nice, goodlooking guy, just for one night, or more often if you really like him.'
This is not the first time she has complained about the lack of sex to her friends, and they all sympathize with her enormously. Three of the four are married, to extremely virile gentlemen according to themselves, and convinced bachelor Fiona is happily fooling around, a different cutie every week, it sometimes seems.
'Isn't that already a thing?' Sarah asks in surprise, she looks at Fiona, as if she would know.
'Maybe,' she responds hesitantly, 'like an escort service?'
'Hahaha,' laughs Isla, 'that's going a bit too far for me, I think.'
'Just google it?' suggests Betty, with an innocent grin.
A little later, the ladies are happily scrolling away, having the greatest fun with the results that appear, but they can't really find what they are actually looking for.
***
'Congratulations girl, forty-seven already, and still gorgeous!'
'Yeah, yeah,' laughs Isla, as she lets her four friends hug her, 'you mean gorgeous wrinkles.'
'Nonsense, you still look fabulous, not a single grey hair to be seen-'
'Hair dye,' Isla interrupts her with a chuckle.
'Amazing pair of tits, which are very real,' Helen announces.
'And just as slim as when you were eighteen,' Sarah, who is always struggling with excess weight, adds with a slightly envious look.
'Well,' sighs Isla, 'but what good it does you if you've been on a dry spell for ages. And the guys who seem interesting enough are either married or think you're still too deep in your grieving process to be open to a relationship. While a good fuck would be enough for me right now,' she adds with a grin.
'Uh, well...' Fiona begins hesitantly.
'What!' Isla calls suspiciously, 'what have you cooked up now! I'm not going out with your brother-in-law, he's still too upset about his divorce. Besides, he's not my type.'
Fiona laughs, 'no, not Bert, don't worry, we've come up with something completely different for you.'
'Oh?' A slightly worried look appears on Isla's face, she doesn't trust it at all, the ladies are giving each other such furtive glances.
Then Betty takes a large oblong envelope from her handbag, gold-coloured, with an exuberant fuchsia bow around it. She holds it out to her, just out of reach. 'Your birthday present, honey, from all of us.'
'Okay, let's get to it,' she says, half-grumbling, as she snatches the envelope from Betty's hands in an unexpected movement, 'what is it.'
She looks at the envelope from all sides, there's even an official-looking wax seal on the back, but no text anywhere, not even a logo.
Then, overcome by an uncontrollable curiosity, she carefully tears it open.
'What?! What is this... No! Jesus, girls, what have you done to me now!' Her face turns like a buoy and her friends start giggling. 'Or is this a joke?'
'You wish,' Sarah grins, looking at her defiantly.