It was early summer and a bunch of us had gone to the beach. We weren't there as acknowledged pairs, just a bunch of us hanging out together. Except for Jan and Ian – they were definitely a pair. We just let them get on with it and enjoyed ourselves.
Just after lunch I noticed that someone had put up a tent. It wasn't right in the middle of the crowd but off to the side a fair bit. A polite piece of locating, in my opinion, because it was quite a large tent. It looked to be about ten foot high and fifteen feet wide. I assumed it was probably fifteen feet deep as well. Effectively a reasonable sized room.
There's no camping permitted on the beach so whoever owned it was going to have to take it down in the evening. It seemed to be a waste of time putting up something like that for just a few hours. Still, it takes all types. I dismissed the matter from my mind.
The matter of the tent came up again when I went for a short stroll. My brother collects seashells and I ambled down the beach to see if I could see any that he'd like. Heading back towards where our group was roughly located I reached the tent. There were a couple of guys hanging around the front of it, reclining on beach-chairs.
They smiled and waved and they seemed respectable enough so I stopped to talk for a moment. My natural curiosity demanded it.
"Hi," I said. "I was just wondering, why the tent? It's not as though you can camp here and it seems a bit much for an afternoon at the beach.
"The girl has a point," said one of the boys. "Why did we bring the tent, Brian?"
"Ah, I believe it was because you thought it would be a good idea," Brian promptly told him.
"Oh, that's right. I thought it would be a good idea. Um, why did I think it would be a good idea, Brian?"
"Now Charlie, how the hell would I know? No-one knows how your little mind works. If it works, which I have reason to doubt at times."
"I guess I'll remember sooner or later," said Charlie. "I'm sure I had a good reason for it."
Charlie turned to address me directly.
"Ah, I'm Charlie and he's Brian. We're the proud owners of a super tent which we have pitched here for no known reason. Would you like to see inside it?"
"I'd sort of gathered that your names are Brian and Charlie," I admitted. "I'm Iris. I wouldn't mind seeing inside the tent. Why so big?"
"We like room to move around. Little tents don't provide that," said Brian, getting up from his beach-chair. He swung open the tent flap and ushered me in with a grandiloquent flourish.
I walked in and it was a case of, WOW. They had a couple of large blankets on the ground so you had something soft to lie on. You ever seen those mink blankets? They're big and thick and soft and fluffy. That's the sort of blankets they had. They also had a bunch of cushions scattered around. Off to the side was a rather large esky, presumably filled with various consumables. There was a sun roof that was partly rolled back, giving plenty of natural light.
"Wow," I said to the guys. "This is quite something."
"That it is," said Charlie. "It looks good, especially with you standing in it. Actually, I think it would look a lot better with you standing in it without your bikini. Why don't you take it off?"
One, two, three, red light. I was so out of here. Then I noticed that the boys were standing between me and the exit. A quick glance around showed that there was a back-flap but it was zipped and tied. If I made a move towards it the boys would be on me so fast. Another quick look around, concentrating on the bottom of the tent, seeing if there was a place I could duck under. No dice.
I was starting to feel a little panicky. Maybe if I screamed? Would anyone hear? The tent wasn't exactly pitched close to the crowd. And they had a radio playing. They could turn it up loud and drown me out. Bloody hell. What did I do now? Try and fight my way past them? The two men suddenly looked awfully big and strong.
"Geez, you're an idiot, Charlie," said Brian. "You've gone and scared Iris. Listen, he didn't mean anything offensive by that. It's just that he tends to speak his mind at times without thinking things through."
"The hell, you say. I think things through. Look at the woman. She's lovely. Wouldn't you like to see her naked?"
"Of course, but you don't just tell a woman something like that. If you want her to take her clothes off you lead up to it gently, giving her reasons for doing so. The way you approached it she probably thinks you're going to rape her."
Now why would I think that just because they'd got me alone and asked me to take off my clothes?
"Oh. Sorry, Iris. I didn't mean to scare you and I have zero intent on raping you. Not going to do it, I assure you. Neither is Brian. He wouldn't rape you either. Scout's honour. I was just thinking that you're lovely and I'd love to see you without the bikini. I was fancying you standing there with little white triangles highlighting all the interesting places. But rape, no way."
Apparently Charlie decided he might be insulting me by saying he wouldn't rape me, which was quite a relief, actually. My panic zone had diminished somewhat.
"Ah, listen, when I say that we wouldn't rape you, that's not to say that you're not a very desirable young woman. You are. I'd love to fuck you, but only if you were agreeable. Ask Brian. He'll tell you the same thing."
I was starting to have serious doubts about Charlie's mental facilities. I looked at Brian, and he was doing a face-palm. I could understand that.
"Charlie," Brian said, "you don't just tell a woman to her face that you want to fuck her. It just doesn't work that way."
"Why not? How's she supposed to know if you don't tell her? Are you saying that you don't want to fuck her?"
"No, I'm not saying that. But there are ways of approaching the subject that are a lot more subtle."
