I was still 29. I wasn't thirty yet - I wasn't a worn-out middle-aged woman, and for the simple reason that I refused to be. I did not want to cross the thirty-border, beyond which I would be unable to wear mini skirts of wedge-heeled shoes anymore; beyond which I could no longer giggle and leave early from dinner parties - I wouldn't be a girl anymore.
In order to avoid facing the fact that I was now a Tupperware-aged spinster, I had taken an early holiday. Away from all the friends wanting to throw birthday parties, all by myself on a campsite in southern France.
And it is truly remarkable what hardships one will put up with when avoiding a birthday. Setting up a tent is no small deal when doing it for the first time, and using the public toilet is something of an achievement too, every day. One afternoon, as I came from the swimming pool and went straight to the shower, the only stall available was one with an unreliable lock. I squeezed it shut, and assured myself that the steam rising up from the cubicle would warrant fellow campers to stay away - I could not have been more wrong.
The moment I had shed my bikini (the last one I'd ever wear, I told myself, for old ladies wore one-piece bathing suits) the door was carelessly thrown open and a blond head poked in. I responses took a moment to kick in, and I only thought of covering myself once the young man had gotten a good long look at me. He too seemed to need a moment to recompose himself, for he only then shook his head and said, "Excusez-moi!"
I smiled sheepishly as he closed the door.
After the weirdness of the moment had worn off, I realized I had not actually minded being displayed in such a respectless manner. The fullness of my pussy lips indicated such as I washed them, and though I told myself it was not-done to feel excited because of this, I felt the adrenalin rushing through my body. I had displayed my naked body to a total stranger (and a very handsome one at that), and I felt the almost irresistible urge of doing it again.
So, the next day, just past nine in the evening, I went down to the showers. I picked the one with the broken lock again, and stripped naked. Nobody entered. I prolonged my shower by an hour until my skin was wrinkly, but then got out.
Why did I feel so disappointed? Had I become an attention-seeking bimbo? I must be going through an early midlife crisis. A typical thing of old age.
The next day, I went to lie by the pool. Perhaps some sun tanning might be good for my mood swings. There were few other people, but I craved to be seen and admired. After a while, I took my top off and turned onto my stomach. When there was no response (I don't know why I expected any) I turned onto my back. Finally, a group of teenaged boys whistled at me. I smiled and, lifting myself up a bit, I winked. They applauded, and left.