Disclaimer: This is the continuation of the first chapter. I recommend reading the first chapter before this one for more context. This is a very long and wordy chapter, as it involves a lot of character building and fleshing out the story more as it continues on. If you only want the sexy bits, you gotta skip toward the end. I wanted to give more time to Dawn in this chapter, make the reader sympathize with her. Or maybe you won't, that is up to you.
As always, negative comments will be removed. I like constructive criticism, but when you're just a jerk, I have the right to delete your comment and report you to the Literotica staff. I'm making this a long involved story this time. Yes there is sex, yes it exists in here. But I also want you to sympathize and like all the character's involved too. And in order to do that, I gotta familiarize you with them.
And that's really what this chapter is about, with a lot of smut stuff toward the end.
Lacey's POV
After her encounter with Mr. Matthews, Lacey knew she needed some time to think about what was all said and done. She had sold her body for money (a hell of a lot of money she might add), and she was making peace with that, sure, but the other aspects were still gnawing away at her subconscious.
She was understandably feeling a lot of emotions after their time spent together. Shame, guilt, and shockingly arousal. She stopped to go to the bathroom at the train station and was ashamed to discover that she was sopping wet between the legs. Her panties were so soaked, they had a stain on them. It absolutely bewildered her. What she had done was supposed to be repugnant, but her body was sending her another message.
As far as mentally, her submissive side had shamelessly loved the superiority dynamic. Despite having been a submissive her whole life, she had relished the control she felt over Mr. Matthews when she was servicing his cock with her mouth. It was shocking, she would never have suspected that there were worse things in the world than doing that to a man of all people.
She was also bewildered by the fact that even a tiny part of her was entertaining the notion that somehow, she and Mr. Matthews had a sexual connection, and it wasn't just because of the contract she had signed. Her body was telling a different story than her mind was, and it was confusing the fuck out of her.
Worst of all, she had to act like none of it had happened. She could not tell a single soul, that had been made clear, and she had signed the contract stating that she wouldn't turn her back on that bond. To break it would mean she would have a lawsuit on her hands.
As a result, she was going to have to keep all these new feelings and emotions to herself. She couldn't talk to any of her friends who had experience with men about what it had meant for her to sexually service one. She could rationalize that if she did tell a friend, they would be sworn to secrecy, and would keep her secret, but the fact that there could be even a slim chance of a slip up had her erring on the side of caution. It just wasn't going to happen. She was on her own in this.
The most difficult thing of all was going to be pretending that everything was happy and normal to Dawn, who was her everything. They had been together for five years now and during that time Lacey had never had to lie to her or keep something this big from her. There was no way in hell that she was not going to see this as a betrayal when she found out, which in her mind was inevitable. Coupled with the fact that Lacey had flat out refused to let her see men in the past, that didn't bode well for their future together.
It became clear to her at that moment that Lacey was going to need to tell Dawn that she had a change of heart. It wouldn't be fair for her now to continue to deny Dawn her bisexuality when she in fact was seeing a man behind her back in secret. Just that very fact was enough to make her want to break this whole thing off. But it was too late for that, and she only had herself to blame on this one. She was the one that signed that contract knowing full well of the ramifications.
The real kicker was that if she were able to tell Dawn right here and now, her girlfriend likely would have been okay with everything, especially given the fact that Lacey's opinion of men in a sexual way had obviously advanced and broadened. She was willing to let Dawn see them now, and she was going to be doing things with Mr. Matthews that she had sworn her whole life were the opposite of what she thought she mentally and physically wanted.
Lacey and Dawn's relationship currently was an open book, but now she was legally bound not to disclose what happened behind closed doors with her handsome boss. As a side note, she couldn't call him Brian in her head yet, even though she had seen and pleasured his dick. She just wasn't there yet with him. A very small part of her hoped in time that this would change, but for now they were acquaintances that knew very little about one another that just happened to now have a sexual history.
It took Lacey a while to come to terms with everything in her head. Her conscience would be her greatest enemy here, because that is where all the guilt would fester. But at the same time, she knew she had to compose herself before she went back to the apartment. Whenever she had a crisis going on in the past, she would take a walk in one of the many beautiful parks around New York.
After Lacey left the train station, she walked the short distance to a nearby park she had been to many times before to clear her head. After some time taking a short walk around the vicinity, she came to the revelation that at the end of the day, she couldn't change anything that had happened. She couldn't go back in time and reverse it. Therefore, she was a big girl, and that meant she had to put on her big girl pants and deal with the fallout when it happened.
Fortunately for her, that was not going to be for some time. It would be when she and Mr. Matthews had long confirmed that she was pregnant, and her belly was big enough that she could no longer hide that fact from her friends and family under baggy clothes. How long would that take? She hoped not long. Because the sooner it happened, the sooner this nightmare would end. Once all was said and done, once the baby was born into this world, she would have nothing to do with Mr. Matthews other than him being her boss. And that would only be if she decided to stay with his company.
Despite all this, there were certainly things to be excited about. Not being broke and going homeless, for one. But also, she would be able to get her degree in marketing free of charge, which she knew was a solid career to have these days, one that could make her a very successful and well-off businesswoman. They were going to pay for her to go to college and take courses. That was another incentive that had made this catch 22 between her and Mr. Matthews worth all the fuss it would cause.
Finally, Lacey was back at the apartment. She hesitated before she opened the door. She knew that Dawn was home, she could smell food being prepared in their kitchen from behind it. Whatever she was making, it smelled divine. Dawn was the cook of the two of them. Lacey could do some meals, but she preferred to do the dishes from them over making them. She found cooking to be way too tedious and time consuming for her to want to bother with it any more than she had to.
"I can do this, I can do this," she murmured, steeling her resolve. Could she do this? Yes! She could. It was fine, everything's fine.
She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. In. And out. In. And out. There we go. All is well. Like hell. Lacey let out her last deep breath and opened the door. She made sure to shut and lock it behind her. It was now or never. Whew.
