The boat operator turns the ignition key one final time to the right. The "click... click... click" of the starter slows and then stops. With an exasperated sigh, he turns the key back to the center, removes it, and stuffs it into his shorts pocket.
"I can't believe this is happening... again!," he growls, turning to face us, sitting in the stern. "This'll probably be Darrell's last day working for me. I don't care if he is my sister's oldest. He was supposed to get this fixed over the weekend." He starts untying a plastic kayak from the rigging over the fly bridge.
"But don't worry," the Captain continued. "The marina's only a couple of miles up the inlet. I can get up there and back in... three hours, tops."
The kayak splashes into the sound and he quickly ties it to a cleat at the rear of the boat. Moving to the bow, he heaves an anchor into the water and waits for it to grab against the sandy mud at the bottom. Instantly the boat starts to pivot with the current until the rope is taught.
When he comes back to where we're sitting he is smiling. "Looks like y'all are getting a freebie on this trip," he grinned. "Can't see the sense in charging you for sitting on a boat that won't go nowhere."
He unties the kayak and tosses the line into the water. A plastic paddle goes in next.
"There's cool drinks down below," be bellowed. "Make yourself at home!" And with that he dives off the back of the boat, climbs aboard the kayak, and paddles away.
You are standing silently at the stern and watch him disappear. One arm is straight along your side, the other one is crooked at a 90 degree angle holding the first at mid-pectoral. After a bit you sigh and turn to look at me. Your words are quiet but they are direct:
"I thought we agreed we weren't going to do this," you hiss with just the right amount of acidity.
"Wait, what??," I retort, lost to the real meaning of what you said.
"This weekend trip has been planned for months!" My voice is rising. "It's not my fault that *my* wife and *your* husband ate bad seafood last night and then drank too much and are now huddled around any toilet they can find at the condo working through their respective food poisonings.
Unfortunately, I was on a roll: "Besides, we talked about this an hour and a half ago before we left the condo! You said, 'No, you made these plans... let's go!' That IS what you said... isn't it?!?"
"I'm not talking about this," you reply as you gesture in a grand sweep along the length of the boat. "I'm talking about THIS," and both hands punctuate downwards in a symbolic statement to where you are standing. There might even be a slight foot stomp involved.
I stand and start moving toward the fly bridge. "I'm sorry, Jessie... you lost me. The Captain said there's beer. You want one??"
"A beer? A BEER??", now who's bellowing. It's fake outrage and we both know it. "It's 9:30 in the morning!"
I'm already at the mini fridge and call back to you, "Mainly local craft stuff... lagers and IPAs. What's your pleasure?" I have one of each in my hand because I already know what you prefer.
When I turn, you are seated against one of the side-rails, still facing the rear. Your long legs are stretched rather sexily toward the stern and your right arm is draped along the top of the cushion. Your fingers are trailing some sort of detail along the rail. I open your beer, hand it to you and sit squarely, elbows on my knees, on the opposite side.
Stupidly or not, in getting the beers I had done some mental gymnastics to figure out where your head is right now.
"Look," I begin. "This is a very popular excursion and we're right at the end of the summer. We *could* have cancelled it this morning when everybody else ended up sick but I don't think we could have rescheduled it before we have to go back to town. I would have lost the deposit.
"Why can't we just enjoy this absolutely gorgeous day?!" As usual, I am completely off the beam as to where your head is, at the moment.
"What we agreed to," you glower, "was not to put ourselves in situations where we're alone... together. It's been a recipe for disaster before... and I think as far as you're concerned you would like it to see it happen again... as often as possible!"
Well, the stupid mental gymnasts in my brain are still fully warmed up and so they -- and I -- dive deeper into the wrong rabbit hole.
"So... you think I *arranged* this?!?," I begin. "It's *my* fault that we went to the wrong restaurant last night?!? It was *my* plan that our spouses got sick?!? *I* somehow arranged for this poor Captain's boat not to work?!? (Wait... it gets even better.)
"Besides what we had between us and the wonderful things we did together... that was *years*... *YEARS!!*... ago! Why can't you let go of that?!?"
My voice echoes off the banks on either side of the inlet. I'm not sure which echo is the last to reach your ears. You shift your balance, swing your legs off the cushion, and match my posture on your side of the boat.
You take a swig of your beer, stare straight into my eyes, and firmly but quietly say: "Because. Because... (because)... I can't... I can't... let go... of you." You punctuate your words as you slowly stand, move to the stern, and stare out into the water.
In all the years I've known you, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen you cry. Because you usually don't. And you aren't crying now. Still, the moment calls for something from me.
I set down my beer, come up behind you and wrap my arms loosely around your shoulders. You relax just a tiny bit. Then I say quietly, "But... you were the one... to let go of me,"
You pivot softly inside my arms until we face each other. "Brad, we've talked about this," you say gently, as you look directly into my eyes. "We were so foolish in doing all the things we did back then. Oh my god, the risks we took! It's a miracle we never got caught.
"And it was both of us... I pushed you, you pushed me... but it just got to the point where we couldn't keep going. It would have been disastrous for us both. I'm sorry that you've never been able to really see that."
My arms remain loose around your shoulders. As you're speaking, though, your arms come up and now rest on each side of me, one on each hip.